I Love and Hate my Controlling Mother!

whyamihere

Did anyone ever have a over controlling Mother?

My Mother was so bad and needed everyone to do it her way. Gave you the silent treatment when she was mad at you. It could go on for a Month. I think she is very childish. I think giving a child the silent treatment is one of the worst things you can do. I will never do it to my kids. I think I am so screwed up because of her and how she raised me.

My Dad's parents(both JW's but very open and loving) she hated. She would hardly ever let us see them. Yes they were weird and odd but they loved us very much. Her parents had nothing to do with us because my Mother was not their favorite daughter. I was never once told by My Mom's parents that they loved us. I was always told that by my Dad's Parents. The first time my grand mother(Mom's side) hugged me was when I was 21. I always got hugs and kisses from my Dad's side.

I hate my Mom from keeping me away from my Dad's side of the family! I could never show them that I loved them because my mother would shun me for liking them. My Grandpa died last Nov. I never got a chance to tell him I really loved him and I was proud to have him as my grandfather! I am going to Chicago on the 1st weekend in June and we are going to spread his ashes there. I want to say good bye to him and tell him I love him. I hope he will hear me. I will now and forever show that side of the family I love them. I think that weekend will be good for me and I can let it all out about how I was not to love them in front of her. They were not even allowed at my wedding! It was either my Mom or Them.

Brooke

Dustin

Hey, I wish you could just be allowed to be who you are in front of your mom. It sucks that she would make you feel that way. Go and say your peace.

hillbilly

Me too...and as I aged I found she really couldnt handle an adult relationship with a grown child. To keep the peace I elect to limit contact and keep a healthy distance.

She refuses to confront the situation with discussion... too bad for her... she's missed out on some wonderful things my family and kids have experienced....

~Hill

kls

Sorry Brook , i swear some people are as dumb and heartless as a rock. I am sure your grandparents knew you loved them and knew the struggle you were going through with your mom. Hopefully spreading his ashes and you saying goodbye will help the hurt.

Nosferatu

I know how you feel. My parents were / are controlling. My mother moreso when I was younger, my father in my adult years. For a while, I really wondered why I didn't feel that "love" for my parents that so many of my peers felt for theirs. It all makes sense now. After growing up and moving out, I discovered that my parents aren't very nice people. My wife hates them. My ex didn't like them either.

I ended up cutting contact with my father for 1 1/2 years because of his controlling attitude. Even now, I keep my distance from my parents. I don't enjoy visiting them. My father sometimes calls 3 or more times a day. I prefer to ignore the multitude of phone calls. They just aren't that important in my eyes.

If my parents weren't my parents, I definately wouldn't have them as friends or aquaintances.

whyamihere

I guess it is just really hard. I know that weekend my Husband is taking my kids and I get to be alone for the whole weekend by myself and it will give me a chance to talk and be with them rather than running around looking for children. Plus it is a well needed break! I hope it puts me at ease and I can close and re-open another chapter in mylife!

Brooke

Dustin

Hopefully that can give you some much needed peace of mind. Try not to feel so guilty about things though, it's not always your fault. Other people in your family surely know that. If your mom acts that crazy about things, other people in your family (especially your dad's side) see it.

whyamihere

I have so much guilt about everything! I know one day this guilt of mine will be the cause of my death.

Brooke

kittyeatzjdubs

i think we have the same mothers!!

haha...

i know how u feel...i would say it'll get better, but i can't b/c i don't know...so i'll just give u love for now.

((((brooke))))

luv, kitty

DanTheMan

My moralizing Catholic mom's patented technique is to go off on a rant about somebody or something, and end it with "you know?" which is a subtle way of forcing you to agree with her.

I Love and Hate my Controlling Mother!

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