Raised as JW

by ReverendRoy 11 Replies latest jw experiences

  • ReverendRoy
    ReverendRoy

    Hello to all,
    As a former Jehovah's Witness I can both empathize and sympathize with you and the many others that have written here. I apologize for the long post. Although I have posted this under a different heading, Commie Chris recommended a new toipic, Thanks!
    A JW mother and alcoholic father raised me. The feeling of torment and abuse as a child by "not fitting in" or being allowed to associate with others not a JW did not register until later. The embarrassment of not being able to sing happy birthday, not saying the Pledge of Allegiance, dating, involvement in the community or being completely ostracized did not dissuade me from being baptized as a JW at the age of 11 years. That evening I realized that in my short life I had made the biggest mistake of my life. I can remember clearly going door to door with the Watchtower and the Awake from the age of 4. I also remember how that our neighbor had a son my age, and I, being the good JW, told him that I was going to live forever and all animals would be kind. He of course told his mother, and in turn, the “mom” said I had such an imagination. Obviously, after that the neighbor kid did not comer to play any more.
    I listened and watched over time, at times watching in horror, as young people my age, were dying, because the parents had refused a blood transfusion, older JW’s dis-fellowshipped for smoking (all of their life as a JW) or the torture JW’s in other countries would go through or allow their families to go through in the name of this religion. By age twelve, I begun to question the teachings of the JW’s, not only to my self, but with the elders of the congregation, one of which was my older brother. Although I questioned many times I did not have the courage or internal strength to break free and think for my self.

    Up until I was dis-fellowshipped at the age of 18 (I was a morning disc jockey and was wishing people a happy birthday and such) I was “kind of, sort of” a JW. The choice of quitting my job or being dis-fellowshipped was the easy way out, but helped me make the decision to break free.

    I thought, at that young age it would be the end, however, I did not realize the extent of “mind-control” type behavior the organization and my family would use to try to get me to “come back”. All I had (have) to do is say I am sorry. How easy is that. A few years after being dis-fellowshipped the family cut off ties with me, with only moderate contact. Although hard to accept, it did make it easier for me to live my life and try to move on. This continued on and off for years (10 or so) until somehow it was decided that immediate family could have contact with me (O BOY). I, during this time had decided that many so called Christians were not Christ like, so in an effort to “open my door” I accepted them back into my life (my family). I allowed them to take part in my life, despite how they have treated me. All the time being reminded that it would be so easy to “come back” and “don’t you know it is the truth” type comments. I would just smile and say that they were welcome to their beliefs, but it was not for me. I would debate them on their belief system. However, as if “brainwashed” they were unmoving in doing what they were told by the WBTS and what they think is the truth.

    About 4 years ago another change in direction from the WBTS must have changed what and how they are treat dis-fellowshipped family members. I was getting the full court press to come back, change my evil ways; I was going to die, etc. etc. However, when my mother told me that I was the reason my then 1-year-old daughter was going to die, I could no longer take any more. How dare they tell me that the God they believed was all knowing, loving and caring was going to kill my daughter in this “time of the end” because of me or at all.

    That was it. It took me 40 years to finally understand. I could not change them, I could not be associated with them and that I was the one that should have disassociated myself from the JW’s.

    I could go on, but I have ranted enough. I know my little life experience compared to many, and it only sounds like whining at this point. I hope all that have been hurt by this religion can find a way to heal.

    I would consider myself more of an agnostic, wandering mystic now. I have looked at all religions and try to lean from all of them. The Sufi poet, Rummi wrote the following and it is a favorite of mine:

    My heart holds within every form
    it contains a pasture for gazelles,
    a monastery for Christian monks,
    There is a temple for idol-worshippers,
    a holy shrine for pilgrims;
    There is the table of the Torah,
    and the book of the Koran.
    I follow the religion of Love
    and go whichever way his camel leads me.
    This is the true faith;
    This is the true religion.

    To find yourself, think for yourself.

    Reverend Roy
    "Why is it when we talk to God we're praying - but when God talks to us, we're schizophrenic?"
    - Stop in at Reverend Roy's Voodoo Lounge where nothing is sacred: http://www.geocities.com/reverendroysvoodoolounge/

  • kes152
    kes152

    Greetings Roy,

    I truly understand what you went through.. as any JW does. The most 'comforting' thing I learned when I finally came and "met" Christ was.. Armageddon is not going to happen the way the WTBTS says its going to happen.

    In the end when the sun gets dark, and the moon doesn't give its like, our Lord will be revealed in plain sight for all to see. It will be a horrible appearance that "man" was NOT prepared for. When they see Jesus in his 'actual' form and his 'actual' figure.. they WILL be astonished.

    Jesus comes and those who fell asleep in union with him will rise first. Then we who are in the earth are gathered from the four winds and together we meet the Lord in the air. When we return, we each sit on thrones and all who were 'left behind' are gathered before us, ALL nations. And our Lord separates the sheep from the goats.

    They are judged. Those who are not in the scroll of life will be gathered, Gog and Magog. Satan is let loose and these are gathered across the earth against the beloved city. This is the war of the great day of God Almighty. Fire comes down out of heaven and consumes the goats AND the demons motivating the goats. Then the resurrection in which everyone who ever lived will rise, both good and bad. They will be judged out of the scrolls. All who are not in the scroll of life are thrown into the firey lake.

    So Armegeddon will not take place until after the 1000 years have ended. so.. the JWs will be in for a BIG suprise!

    Peace,
    Aaron

  • Nicolas
    Nicolas

    Because of all the strange theories that I heard while I was a young men in the jw, I won't believe your theory if you don't have a good proof of it. So, can you give me a proof of it? If Armageddon will be in only 1000 years then, the humans will have to endure a lot of things (like the New World Order...). I don't want to be too much negative but almost everywhwere we look in the world, there's a lot of corruption and the WatchTower is a part of it.

  • Francois
    Francois

    Reverand Roy:

    I liked your quote from Rummi. He's one of my favorites. And just for the record, isn't it just like the Muslims and all other fundys to find a reason to reject love?

    Since the Sufi mystics had spiritually evolved beyond the need for the Koran, the fundys attack and kill them because Muslims are the "People of the Book." And the Sufis don't need the book. Chalk up another one for the fundys.

    BTW, I was also a disc jockey beginning at age 18. Financed my college education with that kinda work. And the groupies; Oh the groupies! God love the groupies!

    Best,
    Francois

    Where it is a duty to worship the Sun you can be sure that a study of the laws of heat is a crime.

  • Andee
    Andee

    Hi RR,

    Thanks for your post. Just wanted to let you know how much I can relate to your story. My family faded from the Org when I was 10. However, my still believing father, still believed most, if not all of the teachings.

    I also dealt with an alcoholic Dad, abuse and being the "outsider" as a kid. I remember arguing with the neighborhood kids about there being no hell. Not only were we JW's, we also had to deal with the chaos of a substance abusing parent. Either one of those is a nightmare, but both is overwhelmingly difficult to overcome. I struggled with a lot of depression in my 20's. I'm almost 40 now.

    I also understand the about the "winds" changing at the WTS. After nearly 20 years of shunning but JW relatives want to have contact again. I did ask one if the rules of changed, he responded "No" and informed me that he would NOT "debate" the issue. As I explore this website and other sources, the flip-flopping (new light) back and forth is appalling.

    I also had a similiar experience with my Father that you had with your Mother regarding my children. Now, granted he didn't say it to "ME" because I would have become completely unglued. Anyway, he expressed to my step-mother that he just didn't understand why I was having children because the were going to die anyway. Big suprise that he doesn't have much contact with them.

    Welcome to the board!

    Andee

  • Jon672
    Jon672

    Hi Rev,

    Just wanted to say I had the same scenario in my childhood, a JW mom and an alcoholic (and chain smoking) father. My Mom began studying with the JW's when I was 5, when she begain hauling my sister and me to meetings, when Christmas and birthdays abruptly ended and when we had the "Paradise" book read to us at night. I was baptized when I was 15, the same year my Dad, age 51, died of cancer and cirrhosis of the liver. I left the religion primarily because I chose to go to college and the opposition I met up with over my decision.

    That, and the tremendous guilt wrought by the sin of masturbation... (LOL!)

    Jon

  • Andee
    Andee

    Hi Jon,

    Welcome to the board.

    Hi Jon,

    Welcome to the board!

    I have often wondered why "Jehovah" would creat drives so strong, such a masturbation, and then make it a transgression against him.

    Of course! the WTS would need to dangle the carrot of paradise in front of people to get them to give that up! However, it probably doesn't work very well.

    Andee

  • Stacey
    Stacey

    I'm sort of new to the board also. Been lurking for a long time, just started posting. The best thing about a place like this is that we all find out that we are not alone. And who can better relate than a person who has been thru a similar experience.

    I'm glad we are all here to share with one another....

    Stacey

  • individuals wife
    individuals wife

    ReverendRoy - A big welcome first of all, good to have you here!

    I was very moved by your post especially -

    However, when my mother told me that I was the reason my then 1-year-old daughter was going to die, I could no longer take any more. How dare they tell me that the God they believed was all knowing, loving and caring was going to kill my daughter in this “time of the end” because of me or at all.

    This brought back memories of what an elder said to my husband a few years ago - Do you realise that if you leave you are giving your children a death sentence? That remark has always stuck with us as it was such a cruel thing to say, we knew that our children were the most important thing in our lives and we would never do anything to hurt them. It was just emotional blackmail of the worst kind. To use the children in that way, as a persuasive lever was disgusting. Needless to say - we no longer attend the meetings.

    I really hated the way the society viewed the children, should be seen and not heard, unless they were doing an item up on the platform. Sit still and dont fidget. Dont play with those worldly kids. No after school activities. Field service instead of playing. A real shame, they miss out on a lot. I know that my kids are a lot happier now and will hopefully grow up to be unprejudiced and well balanced grown ups, something that seems to be lacking amongst so many JWs.

    Nice to have you here!

  • jurs
    jurs

    Hi Roy,
    I'm always amazed at how some here on this board could see the flaws of the organization , even when they were just kids.
    Once when I was going through a spell of missing meetings, a sister told me I needed to go for my kids sake. (they'd be destroyed with me). It scared me into going to meetings. Its what kept me going. I'm glad for you and your daughter that you didn't fall for the Watch Tower fear tactics.....
    jurs

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