JW love in action: JWs fail to inform me when roommate of two years dies (page 3)

garybuss

My cousin died and the Witness relatives waited for 6 months to tell me. This was a non Witness cousin who I most certainly would have wanted to attend his funeral. He lived about a two hour drive away.

It was just another insult added to the L O N G list of insults by the Witness people.

SixofNine

Sorry about the death of your friend, my friend. I have a sneaking suspicion that Herb just got his better and more respectful eulogy when you wrote this post, SNG.

Princess

I'm sorry you lost a friend SNG. I know exactly the man you are talking about and am sad to hear he died. Friendly old guy.

Hope to see you Saturday.

Rachel

Special K

Hi Seatleniceguy

Man, this has got to hurt.

i just wanted to let you know that I hear your pain at the loss of Herb. From your post it sounds like he was a very kind and gentle and giving man.

It sure makes one feel angry at hearing that no one chose to notify you. That hurts too.

Maybe, out of love for Herb, you could have a "Just For Herb Day". You could do things like,

Wash your windows. If your not a gardener, then maybe buy a Tomato plant for the deck or grow an inside green bean plant. Everytime you eat one you could say, "Herb would love these"

What we done in memory of lost loved ones is plant a tree in our yard or maybe a lovely bush of some kind.

Another thing we do to remember lost loved ones is bake something that was their favourite at Christmas time. I make a wonderful Gumdrop cake every christmas in memory of a dear friend who died in 2000.. and now I have a particular cheese cake I make for someone who passed away this year. Our kids really look forward to having "Bills Gumdrop Cake" and "Dougs Cheese cake".."Nanna's rolls" "Uncle Owens Molasses cookies".. It brings us warm memories of them all..

There have been so many jw's die since my husband and I were disfellowshipped 12 years ago that I really liked and admired but ..couldn't go to their funerals.

Again, sorry for your loss of Herb and the lack of consideration by J.W.s of not letting you know.

Special K

LouBelle

By their love (or lack there-of) you will know them. All those that produce fine fruit will be saved and all those that produce rotten fruit will be cast into the fire.

Their "love" is in word & not deed. I'm truly hurt to know they acted that way. As someone who is going to be DF'ed shortly & with an aging grandmother - it pains me .....

lonelysheep

It's so messed up for them to act like your relationship with him prior to leaving the jw's is erased as if it never existed. ((SNG)) They have no class or decency....and the right thing to them is completely backwards. There's just no excuse for it.

LongHairGal

This is just one more example that shows the JWs to be the mental cripples that they are. Some of them sin by omission but some of them are just pathetic.

Not that I am making excuses for anybody but they are kept so busy that their heads are barely above water to see what is going on. I always got the impression that they wanted everybody to not know what was going on. Almost as if everybody was isolated (unless they were in cliques of course).

They have no love. That's just a word.

seattleniceguy

Thanks, everyone, for your replies and comments. Thanks, lawrence, for the poem. I really enjoyed the imagery and metaphor.

Sounds like many have had similar - and much more painful - experiences. It's sad that this religion hurts people with impunity. Fortunately, I think its own days are running out.

SNG

Doubtfully Yours

seattleniceguy,

These people only function if you're part of them, and an active participating part at that.

I still haven't gotten myself kicked out, but because I'm considered 'spiritually weak' many in there, even my close relatives treat me different. I too find out about people that died much later than it happened because I'm not really 100% part of them although I still have the name.

It's a sad, sad group of people. Sorry to hear this happened for you this way.

DY

heatherg

Since I left the org about 9 yrs ago, many 'friends' young and old have died. Of course my Mother would wait the year or so to finally tell, it's like I'm not supposed to or allowed to grieve whenever everyone else did. Apparently I'm not good enough. For example a close friend of mine still just barely in the org had moved, and I tried desperately to find her to invite her to my wedding. I just couldn't track her down in time. 2 months after my wedding, my Mother informed me that she had died, someone had killed her, and on my wedding night. I still have trouble with that, thinking to myself, if I had only found her in time, maybe she would still be alive. I've come to peace with it more though, because I feel at times she's taking care of me and letting me know that it's okay, like she knows that I tried. It's a small comfort, especially knowing how sick the JW's are, not allowing me to grieve. hg

JW love in action: JWs fail to inform me when roommate of two years dies

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