The love you didn't get as a JW...

JH

Often, I hear people say that there is no love in the JW Org. Can you give personal examples of this?

OK, this is your chance to say what "Love" you expected from the Org. and never got...

The love of a brotherhood that comes by when you are going thru a crisis. Not just on the weekend so that they can count time. A phone call just to see how your doing. Not just to get your time for the month. Visits from "friends" while your father is dying in the hospital. Not just a couple of elders "representing the congregation" coming by to give last prayer to the dying.

dh

There may not be love or unconditional love, but there is something. I took a call at my parents house the other day from Bethel, asking if a certain JW was in my parents congregation as there was an emergency and her sister on the other side of the world was trying to locate her... Bethel trying to track down the sibling of a JW, ever hear of that? They didn't call back and so I take it they found the sister of the sister... I don't know if that was love or kindness in using the system of communication they have.

Equally my mother lost touch with JW friends on the other side of the world for 25 years, 25 years later someone from that area was in my parents area, and a name was passed on, lo and behold a few months later, contact was re-established. Like a Year Book story, friends reunited after a quarter century, all made possible because of the JW's... Now I don't know if that is love, but it isn't hate.

I think the JW org is bad, but I think there are a lot of good people caught up in it.

tijkmo

and in the end

the love you take

is equal to the love

you make

sweet tee

dh - helping people stay in touch is not the same as showing love: I have REAL friends who show me REAL love - friends I know I can call if my car breaks down who will drop what they're doing and come and get me, or drive around and help me look for a wayward teenager if need be, or bail me out of jail, or get my lights turned back on ... whatever - and I'd do the same for them. Real friends are there when you have real problems to deal with and they don't turn their back on you because you're weak.

rebel8

Examples I personally witnessed:

shunning or distancing from people who appeared to be "spiritually weak/discouraged" instead of encouraging them
shunning or keeping distance from people just because of their marital status, having an "unbelieving" family member, racial background, etc.
being rude (If I had to type out each rudeness example, I'd get carpal tunnel syndrome.)
telling people mean things, such as they don't deserve to have J give them a new "mate" because they already had one and they messed up (divorce)
telling me I am Leah, the Least Loved Sister, when my underage sister started dating my serious boyfriend (gross), it happened because I was not good enough, it wasn't wrong, I was wrong to be upset, I still had to go door-to-door with my ex-BF and recognize his headship over me, I wasn't allowed to avoid or not talk to him, I was wrong for complaining about my sister physically assaulting me.....etc.
telling me I would be "damaged goods" and "bad association" if I had a blood transfusion forced upon me
telling rape victims they must continue to have sex with their spouses during their therapy and they must continue to socialize with/recognize the headship of their perps (Yes, I was present when an elder perp said this to his victim daughter. She was ordered to keep a good social relationship with her perp and to continue to have sex with her husband even though she was having active flashbacks during sex. She was threatened with DFing if she refused.)
general grandiose delusions, thinking they are better than everyone else

zen nudist

I expected them to out due my worldy family.... and transcend bloodlines for spirit lines...no such thing found.

dh

sweet

yep, i know that, this is why i didn't say jw's were loving, i said that they do things which are not just bad, getting people back in touch might not be love, but it's an act of kindness by individual people... almost like they will help their own so long as they are their own, and once you leave them, or turn traitor, they will not have anything to do with you. a lot like being a secret agent, they will help you until you switch sides, then say goodbye.

i think most jw don't know what love is as they are not permitted to have unconditional feelings.

RichieRich

Remember than any love you might squeeze out of a witness is always going to be AGAPE , which is principle love. So it might be love... buts its just because they have to.

mad max

shame they say they have love, what a lie.

Love is to me when you fellowship with people and you love them hug them, laugh with them, sing LOUDLY with them.

in the cong. you hug but they hardly can hug back, well i cant remember really laughing at the meeting and singing oh my!!! the absolute worst, those songs just killed me.

No, no love. They cannot because they do not know how, they taught it but it just has not reached dowwwwwwwwwwwwwwn into their heart.