Were you told you had to tolerate things as a test?

LongHairGal

(I made a thread like this but it seemed to have gotten lost).

I got in some heated discussions years ago over what I would and would not tolerate from people with regard to abuse on a personal level. We were always fed the line that we should forgive our brother, etc. etc. They kept quoting the scripture about "putting up with one another".

What I am referring to is that certain people there had an attitude that other people were supposed to take their guff. I think they got sadistic pleasure from doing this. Like they were playing out some dominant role at somebody else's expense. I know of a woman who has a jekyll-hyde personality who is very discourteous to other women, expects to be forgiven and wants all kinds of perks from everybody!

I felt that this was the height of arrogance because who has a right to presume that they should be a test to anybody?

???

Little Red Hen

LongHairGal, I definitely got that feeling while I was associated. It also seemed that it was worse to take offense than to give it. From trivial to most egregious transgressions were fobbed off with scripture. 'love covers a multitude of sins', and 'look not to your own interest' and 'not keeping account of injury'. In fact, in their warped logic, the one transgressed against was actually made out to be the one stumbling some 'honest hearted' one.

Almost any dealing I had with my husband's family turned into this type of game. Unfourtunatly, I am very forgiving and generous, and set myself up to be taken advantage time and again.

blondie

My mother, siblings and I were told we had to endure my non-JW father's abuse. That if we were better Christians, he would see the error of his ways.

Blondie

tetrapod.sapien

absolutely. it is one of the several ways that the org keeps the status quo in the rank & file. you're made to feel that if you make a fuss, that you're really just being a pain in joe hoba's a--.

AK - Jeff

In my experience - elder's were the worst offenders. We had many occasions of hateful actions taken or ommitted by those who supposed to 'taking and setting the lead' - No matter how often I complained about the lack of love and consideration - no matter how obvious that we had been lied to, dissed, ignored in times of trouble, falsely labeled, ect. - Never were we apologized to for being offended or actually mistreated. Just told to forgive, and move on! But if the shoe was on the other foot - I was told to quickly 'make amends and peace'. Christian hypocricy at it's finest. I am sure it just not among witnesses though!

Arrogant, self righteous b**tards!

Jeff

LongHairGal

What also gets me about this is that it flies in the face of sanity, self preservation and self-respect. It also goes against the scripture that says you are to love yourself.

I really feel they wanted to rob you of your self-respect most of all because people with no self respect will tolerate anything.

tijkmo

i am still in a debate over slanderous things that were said about me by my j/c and other investigators..

the 'men' (sic) involved are tony boyland, bill blyth, and paul o'hanlan

couple of weeks ago a couple of local elders called to tell me they had endeavoured to speak reasonably to these men who had told them that 1..they had nothing to apologize for, and 2..that it seems as if the local elders are looking to find fault with the judicial decision

so the matter will be dropped ...and the local elders would like me to be able to drop it too and move on but...they fully understand why i cannot

esp when i said...these elders know that i have a problem with them..they have known for 2 years..i should not be the one having to chase them..by their own rules if they know their bro has something against them they should be coming to me because otherwise it will hinder their worship

one of them is a temp c.o...when he goes to other halls (or the other elders in their respective khs) they will come up against bros who have fallen out or who have grievances and they will recommend to them that they approach the person they know has a grievance against them and try to sort it out because thats what christ told them to do regardless of the fact they are in the right...something they are unable or unwilling to do themselves even though they now know that the reason i dont attend anymore is because of their refusal to even acknowledge me on the subject...

as tom petty once said....no i wont back down

if its a test then i failed

suits me

Jez

One of the main reasons I stayed in an abusive relationship was because of elder counsel, that to me, was almost as close to godly counsel. I stayed for 14 years, even after he was arrested, they TOLD HIM to try to get back into the house to live with his family and right things that way. He had conditions on him NOT to come within a certain # of feet of the house! The elders then pressured me to stay with him, give him another chance, trust in Jehovah. I refused.

Jez

LongHairGal

Thanks for all your comments.

What I am struck with most of all is that their attitude is opposite of the mind of Christ, especially the posts about elders. In fact, I think most of them are practicing for their position as "princes in the new earth". Well, they have no business acting the part now.

Just intolerable.

freedom96

Being told to tolerate others was a way to justify bad behavior by those in "God's organization."

Were you told you had to tolerate things as a test?

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