by Jez 41 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
pratt1 - my thoughts exactly! they really have no other choice if they are to survive growing up in this cult. this is what happens when "children" are forced to "conform" or risk serious consequences - it's sad really, because they aren't learning how to be loyal or honest, but rather how to cheat and deceive to get what they want (kids will be kids and you can't stop that). nice job borg! real nice job.
trudy
There is no alternative for a young JW (or even an older one.)
Living a lie is what being a JW inevitibly becomes for one very good reason.
JW's do not live in the actual real world. Instead, they live in a fantasy.
When the fantasy bubble is popped by any intrusions by the real world the whole fantasy collapses for a moment.
To live in the beautiful fantasy requires some extreme repair work and revision of thought.
You learn to compartmentalize. To maintain the fantasy bubble you must keep the illusion in one compartment and your real self in another.
When you visit with JW bros. and sisters you put on the fantasy personality. When you are with real people in the real world your actual self emerges.
You become, in essence, TWO people!
This sounds crazy, doesn't it? But, you are being MADE CRAZY by living in the false world of Jehovah and his Watchtower buddies in the first place.
What if you did NOT do what I am describing above?
You'd simply have no life at all. Not for very long. You'd bleed to death from the absence of contact with reality. You'd become depressed, lonely, diminished in intellect. You'd have no outlet for healthy emotions. You'd keep your eye on the horizon for a dot that never appeared. You'd be rooted in one spot and the immobility would anchor you to a non-productive life of inertia that would rust you and crumble your spirit.
That is why the DOUBLE LIFE is so necessary.
JW kids don't want to lose their family; but, they simply must live in a REAL world from time to time.
Hence, the lie.
I suspect all JW's have this binary personality disorder. It is cognitive dissonance in the extreme.
They may even suspect it is happening; but, they can NEVER CONFRONT the truth of it.
I also suspect many act out in order to be disfellowshipped so that they are forced to face reality without much prospect of returning to the life of the illusion and the lie.
But, I'm no psychiatrist.
Terry
I was a bad teenager too, but unfortunately I usually got caught at whatever I did. Doh! But I didn't try to pass as an outstanding JW at the KH, either.
Don't blame these kids. They have something I didn't - the internet - which is good and bad. They don't have to believe the crap they are told about armageddon and everything else. But if they have figured it out, it can't be an easy thing for them to deal with, knowing the religion is lying about everything, and being trapped by your idiot parents. Yeah, I would have gotten way more into drugs and drinking if I was dealing with all of that, too.
So...where were you girls when I was 18?
~Hill (lived with grumpy -farts class)
Reading through these posts made me think about when I was still being spoken to by all my kids, and some of the converations that used to begin like "Remember the time we....."
I found out some veeeerrrry interesting things that they got into WHILE they were (supposedly) being raised as JWs!!!!!
Talk about enlightening!
A neighbor (nonJW) we used to have had seven kids, and she said she's sure that her hair used to turn whiter every time they were all home together (as adults) just listening to stories they used to tell!!!
I think that being able to "stop the lie and live" requires more maturity than the average teenager has.
I was a teen who followed ALL the JW rules (except for independent thinking and talking back to my mother). It was an absolutely miserable existence.
In my cong there was a big scandal with most of the other teens. They were caught using drugs and having sex. Most were DFd or DAd (when DAing was the form of DFing used to an unbaptized person). Several parents left the borg too. I was one of the few left. Many adults came up to me and asked if I was using drugs or having sex, and ranting on about how I better avoid temptation. All the popular JW kids got in trouble and all the non-popular ones didn't.
To this day, I still admire those teens for taking a stand against the cult and living their lives. Granted, I don't approve of drug use or sex for young teens; it's their courage I admire. I simply was too afraid of beatings and threats that God would kill me to live a normal life. Compliance was a big mistake.
Right on Nina and Terry, very insightful.
Try not to judge these kids too harshly. They are just trying to survive in a tottally unhealthy environment.
Yes, I won't judge them harshly. It just drives me crazy. I have thought alot about growing up a witness teen and I can honestly say that once we were out of that KH, I never gave hardly a second thought to my religion. I acted like any other kid. It is like this irritating poke in the ribs every so often, but easily ignored. I think that I, many of you, and the kids I see at school are the majority nowadays. If it is not in your heart, you won't let it influence your daily life. JW are notorious for not being able to teach the heart and only fine-tuning the "outward appearance." This will bite them in the ass someday.
Jez
I really see nothing wrong with pointing out their hypocrisy to them. It may very well help them leave the organization.
As the spawn of Satan, and as a well know fire breathing Baby eater, I can say that the life I live when not around JWs is my TRUE life.
The meetings are where I betray myself. I'm not trying to fit in at school / in the world, I'm trying to play along at the meetings. THe kigdom hall is where I dont belong.
Of course , this will only go on a little longer.
Terry that was very well said.
I was an elder's daughter, and I was as close to perfect as I could have been,,,,,until I turned 17. I lead a double life, but I felt so much guilt. I avoided field service as much as possible because I didnt want to witness to my school friends. There were so many dark days,,,,going to school was a relief. On graduation day, I cried, because my dad would have me working in our office ( right behind our home) and I was to pioneer. I wanted to die.
My home life was full of hyposcrisy. I guess I learned well how to lead a double life.
The young ones who are living double lives are probably doing what I did , just trying to survive the insanity. I truly feel sorry for them.
