I was thinking of forbidding my wife from taking the kids out in service

by Check_Your_Premises 167 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  ljwtiamb

  Speaking from my own experience, I suggest that you carefully weigh your options:

  My dad initially started studying, but eventually opposed. This had a very strong and opposite effect on us as young kids.

  The more he tried to stop us, the more it emboldened us to be even more faithful little witness buggers.

  And don't you know, the folks at the hall used my father's opposition as proof that we were REALLY pleasing jeh.

  So, be careful that your plan does not backfire with unwanted results.

  Best wishes!

  Just my two cents!
• 

  RichieRich

  1. Always listen

  2. Build on what they say

  kid "We have to go out a lot so jah will love us"

  you"ever notice that a lot of people don't go out? Jah still loves them"

  3. Insert doubt

  "Why does the doctrine keep changing?" (this will only work on the eldest) (show him the simpler things from quotes website)

  "If being a JW is so great- why is mom always upset? I'm not a witness and I'm happy with my life... None of the stress of service meetings etc"

  DONT FIGHT YOUR WIFE!!!

  Every assembly they have a part where some spiritually single parent comes out there with a index card and tells about her husband trying to keep the kids from going out in service. Then the kid walks out with his jacked up pants and eyeglasses and picks up a mic and says "I love jah... thanks mom..." and then everyone claps, and by this point everyone who is wearing a dress is bawling plus or minus a few Super Elders who can cry and be cool with it....
• 

  Sunspot

  Hey Pardner!

  M hubby never interfered with the kids going to meetings or out in service, all but one HATED the whole thing! One did get dunked at 14 but was DFed a few years later---HATES anything to do with the WTS!

  The more you dig your heels in, the more "opposition" will be imagined, and she will be getting advice from everyone on how to "handle" you---from leaving you to other little niceties.

  My thoughts are to go with the program and the kids will most likely give her headaches when they get older, about being raised as JWs and HAVING to go to all those boring meetings!

  hugs,

  Annie
• 

  Emma

  This is a tough one. I would say that you know your wife best and are the only one who might be able to predict an outcome. They do love a "persecution" story and would pay a lot of attention to your wife (love bombing) if it seemed you were opposing.

  I would make sure the kids hear all sides. If she's going to study with them, you are going to expose them to your church as well as other beliefs. Talk to them about Budhism, Islam, Native American beliefs, etc. You don't have to be doing this in opposition but just for education. It sounds like you're on the good side of everyone for the time being and should be able to get away with this. Remember though, they're going to be looking for you to "make progress in the truth" through "bible study" and "meeting attendance."

  Emma
• 

  Chia

  Sadly, my sister had a part like this. "I've been pioneering for ten years." And the brother giving the part said, "And all this while growing up in a divided household?" "Yes, it's true." Everyone clapped. I never thought about how stupid it all was until recently.
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  Check_Your_Premises

  Cool guys. Thanks for the input.

  I will make it optional, (like the meetings). They can go to my brother's, who has a pool.

  You would have to brainwash a kid pretty hard to make the choose a hot car in dress clothes over a swimming pool.
• 

  M.J.

  Well I guess it comes down to whether or not the risks of losing rapport outweighs the risk that your kids will become indoctrinated by going out on service.

  So perhaps you also need to ask, "how much will going out on service affect my kids?"

  Theoretically it would appear that taking part in the activity would really indoctrinate them. But how does this theory hold up in real life? I ask you ex-dub kids: Did going door-to-door make you "strong in the truth"? Or did it make you think "boy this really sucks".
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  luna2

  Your wife might also be secretly relieved not to have to take the kids along. There isn't a lot that's fun about getting your kids' presentations prepared, little bookbags ready, having to wake them up, get them dressed, get yourself dressed and out the door in time to meet for service. Blah. ....of course, she's possibly more organized than I was.
• 

  LeslieV

  Personally I have three children with my ex JW elder husband. He has tried everything in his power to get them involved with the JW religion. The most important thing that I can say is let them see the "world." Bring art, music, sports, education to them. I have never told them they could not attend the hall, or that they should no go out in service with their dad. I let them see the JW religion for what it is!!! All three of my daughers are in college and believe now that the JW religion is a cult.

  You need to be the sounding board for them. The safe person that sees the religion intellectually not emotionally. When the girls came to me after being with their father they would comment on what they heard at the hall that made no sense to them. I agreed with them that maybe it does not make sense, that is why they needed to see and experience all religions to make a decision of what did make sense to them. Good luck!

  Leslie
• 

  Check_Your_Premises

  MJ,

  Yeah, you are probably right on that one. I would probably be doing them a disservice by letting them miss out on the joy of field service.

  CYP