Should JWS EAT SAUSAGES? (page 3)

I quit!

You have all raised some very interesting points I think the WT should look into. It has been a while since the "organization" has been able to come up with anything to get the rank and file worked up enought to get out there and try to score converts and hawk books. This might be their ticket. They could kick off the campaign with a series of WT article on the evils of the saugage. They could issue "No Sausage" cards for witness to present to the waiter when dinning out. Perhaps they could come out with some bizarre eschatology involving the sausage to predict the end of the world. You know the kind of thing. Make a date for the the invention of the sausage. Sausage times, time and 1/2 a time.

vitty

I wonder if I should tell my family, they love cumberland sausage or should I not.ummmmmm decisions, decisions

katiekitten

If you have read my thread about Uncle Malcolm you will know that bad things happen to good people when sausages are involved.

luna2

Good ideas, I quit!.

Since blood is becoming a non-issue, the FDS can rally 'round the sausage. JW's will need another defining tenet to show how different they are from the world: "Sausage...Is It For Christians?"

katiekitten, I'm sure they will want to use the story of what sausage-eating did to Auntie Jean for the Watchtower article.

katiekitten

I was in bondage to sin and death. I had reached the end, I had no hope and no future. One day when I was at my wits end I fell to my knees and prayed to Dog (HotDog) Please HD if you are up there just send me a sign. Imagine my utter surprise when I heard a knock at the door, there stood two Jehovahs Sausages.

They showed me a couple of scriptures including "man cannot live by sausage alone, but from every utterance that comes forth from Dewhursts the Butchers". My life turned round. I renounced other reconstituted meat products, the skins fell from my eyes and my heart and other offal organs were opened up to the truth. I no longer fear the future for I know I am getting food at the proper time guaranteed at least 39% pork content, from the Faithful and Discreet Snorker.

sonnyboy

Some of the ones I've met should be eating snausages.

greendawn

Eat your meat and don't bother asking if it originates from pagan sacrifices, what difference does it make? Otherwise you are stressing yourself out too much like the JWs who are so sensitive about all sorts of silly details.

GetBusyLiving

I'm in tears laughing. I can't believe I'm getting paid while I sit here reading about Jehovah's Sausages. If I try to explain why I'm laughing so hard to all the normies in my office they would never get it.

GBL

tetrapod.sapien

when i was a teenager dub, i was all about the sausage. the more it was strangled the better. i don't think Jehovah ever minded either...

Quentin

Can you date a sausage? I mean, realy, there not all bad, are they? You know just a movie and have it home by eleven. You wouldn't be a sausagtate if you did would you?

Should JWS EAT SAUSAGES?

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