by Check_Your_Premises 79 Replies latest jw friends
Liverpool accent is great. Because it is so close to where I live, I find it easy to speak like someone from Liverpool (scouser )
Y'all right mate?
you startin?
eh eh eh!
Remember Sonia the singer ? she was asked for three words to describe herself and she said "er...scouse.....er....mersey.....er....sophisticated"
Well maybe it was Dawn French doing a sketch of her LOL
Sirona
Glasgow vs Edinburgh
The Scottish Executive Education Committee has determined that different secondary Maths Exam are required for pupils in the two cities. Below are the most recent maths exam papers for your reference.
MATHS TEST FOR SECONDARY SCHOOLS IN GLASGOW:
NAME __________________________
NICK-NAME ____________________
GANG NAME ____________________
1. Shug has 0.5 kilos of cocaine. If he sells an 8 ball to Malkie for 300 quid and 90 grams to Gozy for 90 quid a gram, what is the street value of the rest of his hold?
2. Elroy McKay pimps 3 brassers. If the price is 40 quid a shag, how many shags per day must each brasser perform to support his 500 quid a day crack habit?
3. Whacker wants to cut the kilo of cocaine he bought for 7,000 bar, to make a 20% profit. How many grams of strychnine will he need?
4. Christy got 6 years for murder. He also got 350,000 for the hit. If his common law wife spends 33,100 per year, how much money will be left when he gets out? Extra Credit Bonus: How much more time will Christy get for Killing the slapper that spent his money?
5. If an average can of spray paint covers 22 square meters and the average letter is 1 square meter, how many letters can be sprayed with eight fluid ounce cans of spray paint with 20% extra paint free?
6. Bagga steals Dunky's skateboard. As Bagga skates away at a speed of 35mph, Dunky loads his brother's piece. If it takes Dunky 20 seconds to load the gun, how far will Baga have travelled when he gets whacked?
MATHS TEST FOR SECONDARY SCHOOLS IN EDINBURGH:
NAME___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________ (if longer, please continue on separate sheet)
DADDY'S COMPANY_______________________________________
1. Julian smashes up the old man's car, causing x amount of damage and killing three people. The old man asks his local MP to intervene in the court system, then forges his insurance claim and receives a payment of y. The difference between x and y is three times the life insurance settlement for the three dead people. What kind of car is Julian driving now?
2. Chloe's personal shopper decides to substitute generic and own-brand products for the designer goods favoured by her employer. In the course of a month she saves the price of a return ticket to Fiji and Chloe doesn't even notice the difference. Is she thick or what?
3. Roly fancies the arse off a certain number of tarts, but he only has enough Rohypnol left to render 33.3% unconscious. If he has 14 Rohypnol,how is he ever going to shag the other two-thirds?
4. If Savannah throws up four times a day for a week she can fit in a size 8 Versace. If she only throws up three times a day for two weeks, she has to make do with a size 10 Dolce et Gabbana. How much does liposuction cost?
5. Alexander is unsure about his sexuality. Three days a week he fancies women. On the other days he fancies men, ducks and vacuum cleaners. However he only has access to the Hoover every third week. When does his Sunday Independent column start?
Here is a good website on the subject:
http://www.universalteacher.org.uk/lang/britishisles.htm
Here is a rough dialect map of Britain:
http://www.peak.org/~jeremy/dictionary/figures/dialectsUK.gif
Sirona....Yes, it sure is interesting to hear such "archaic" features like that survive in dialects. There is also a tremendous
amount of variation. To take one example, in Standard English (which derives largely from the Suffolk dialect), this is how
you conjugate the verb "to be": I am, you are, he/she is, we are, you are, they are. But across Britain, it varies in different
dialects:
(1) Standard English: 1S am, 2S are, 3S is, 1P are 2P are, 3P are
(2) Yorkshire: 1S is, 2S is, 3S is, 1P are 2P are, 3P are(3) Kent: 1S are, 2S are, 3S is, 1P are 2P are, 3P are
(4) Somerset: 1S be, 2S be, 3S is, 1P be 2P be, 3P be
(5) Northumberland: 1S is, 2S are, 3S is, 1P are 2P are, 3P are
(6) Sussex: 1S be, 2S be, 3S be, 1P be 2P be, 3P be
(7) Suffolk: 1S am, 2S are, 3S is, 1P are 2P are, 3P are
(8) Derbyshire: 1S am, 2S art, 3S is, 1P are 2P are, 3P are
(9) Dorset: 1S be, 2S art, 3S is, 1P be 2P be, 3P be
(10) Hampshire: 1S be, 2S bee(st), 3S is, 1P be 2P be, 3P be
(11) Berkshire: 1S be, 2S beest, 3S be, 1P be 2P be, 3P be
Of course, people from these areas can often speak Standard English as well. But the variation above shows just how
arbitrary the Standard English conjugation is, and if the standard was derived from one of these different dialects,
Standard English would be quite different.
see above
and above that
This thread is right up my alley! I love sorting out dialects. There used to be a program on PBS that hubby and I never missed. It was called "Good Neighbors" where a British couple were trying to become self-sufficient. It was the BEST!
After it had run the first-season course, they announced t was being cancelled. It just wasn't getting the attention it deserved in WV, where British humor didn't stand a chance. We went and visited the station and told them how much we enjoyed it---and they renewed it for the following season! Anybody else ever heard of this show?
Now we're in upstate NY and THIS area has a definite accent. To give an example----the kids will ride their "boiks". The name "Ed" turns into "Ahd". It's very strange to say the least.
Annie
Sunspot
I wonder if you mean "the good life"?
Had a chap (or is it bloke? is that a regional thing?) from Newcastle stay with my sissie for a couple of weeks about three years ago. Lovely accent. I asked him if Newcastle was pretty, he got a good laugh out of that one. Must not be very nice there.
I love the scene in "Chicken Run" where the American chicken (Mel Gibson), after hearing the Scottish chicken try to tell him something, asks another chicken "was that English?"
I tried to read the book Trainspotting but it was too much work trying to figure it out!
in the north..sox are what u wear to keep your feet warm
in the south sox is how you make babies
Leo:
this is how you conjugate the verb
I love it when you talk sexy!
Highlighting once more that most Brits don't even know what "conjugate" means, even though they automatically do it on a day to day basis.
CYP:Shrek and Braveheart are not good examples of Scots accents - LOL.
What the Hell did he say?
~Hill
