I feel like Iam being forced into doing this because the person I love is already a baptised witness. Iam a little fuzzy on some aspects.
Well, let me clear some of this up for you. Do you know what's required of an unbaptized publisher?
- You need to go door to door at least once a month
- You need to turn in a monthly report on how many hours you spent knocking on doors and how many magazines you've placed.
- If you do not turn in your monthly report, the PO phones you and asks you for your stats.
- If you're sporatic in your door to door work, you become an irregular publisher
- If you quit turning in a report, you become an inactive publisher. A shepharding call will follow.
- If you turn in your publisher badge, you are announced from the stage as "no longer an unbaptized publisher". You are then marked as "Spiritually Weak" or even "Bad Association".
You are committing yourself to a life of selling magazines full of lies for the rest of your life as a JW. It fucking blows. If you're not a good salesman, you'll hate it.
Also, you're putting yourself through a lot of crap just for "love". However, the person you love doesn't have the same love for you. The WTS is her first love. Jehovah is her second. The Elders are her third. The congregation is her fourth. Her JW relatives are her fifth. Any children she has will be her sixth. You will be dead last.
You're better off finding a woman who isn't going to make you crawl through the JW mud to show that you love her. She SHOULD love you for the person you are, not the person you're going to be. She's expecting you to become a good JW. Her expectations are high, and you're most likely going to let her down (proof: you're on this website). Once you leave the JWs, you eliminate the common ground for your relationship: the JW religion. She's going to expect you to build your relationship on the religion instead of love.
If you're willing to sacrifice all your morals, beliefs, and even love for some woman, you've not only got a lot to learn, but you're going to experience a ton of pain while learning.