NEW JW book arrived in mail...

crazyblondeb

I don't know want topic this should fall under, don't really care right now. I've been pissed off most of the afternoon. My JW stepdad, who until last month I have not spoken to in 10 years, sent me a book--"What does the bible really teach?" I'm wanting to wrap it back up, and mark "deceased" across my name and return it in the mail! Plus I get an email from my mom telling me I had pancreatits a couple weeks ago cause I'm a raging alcoholic. (I've had maybe a 12 pack in the last week.) Both are on that "if you'd only come back to Jehovah.) *gag me*

What started this was last month I email Ken (stepdad), and told him I didn't want a response. I was just letting him know that I had finally forgiven him for molesting me for years. That I was doing this for me, not him. I had to let some of the bitterness and anger go that I've had all this time. I found myself becoming like my mother. She's a very bitter, depressed JW. I'd rather step out in front of a train than be like her.

Anyhow, I get this email back from Ken. He's actually THANKING me for forgiving him. Some crap about how its really been eating him up and that he thinks about it all the time. Even though he's a stepdad, I have considered him my dad, he raised me until I ran away from home. He just found out he is a great-grandpa. Of course the couple emails I've gotten are now, my being DF'd was a long time ago. It's time to move on..blah,blah. Now, of course it's "come back to Jehovah". I just avoid the issue. I did email him and told him emotionally what he and the JW's put me thru. Why would I want any part!? So, I go to the mail and find this book, no note. Just a "All suffering soon to end" tract.

I WANT SSOOO badly to let him know that "hey, you know those apostates you all talk so bad about"? I'm proud to be one!!! Then to tell him I'm Wiccan!

Can't decide if it's time to sever the ties with both parents? I'm having to bite my tongue. Yes, my mouth tends to over-run my ass. (and I have a big ass)

I think you'd understand more when I can tell the rest of my story. My sisters want me to just blow them off. Not cause a stink. But that's what I do best!! The apostate in me wants to ...........I'm not sure what I want to do. Not roll over for sure.

Thanks for letting me vent. My friends here are great about listening, but don't have a clue what is really happening.

shelley

BeVirusFree

Burn the book halfway and send it in the mail, ROFL :) Then he should get the hint!

Es

oh crazy your poor darling how horriable that must be for you. You are a bigger person than me i think i would hold on to the grudge forever. Did you stepdad ever get into trouble for molesting you? Does your mum know about it??? If that was me i think i would sever all ties. Pls keep us updated we are here for you es

sass_my_frass

Crazy! Sorry Deb, that sounds like a bad time.

You did specify that you didn't want him to get in touch with you, so he shouldn't have. On the other hand, you did do a very big thing for him; forgive him, and he probably is very deeply grateful. As a witness, he must also show humility, so he wanted to express that, and it's never a bad time to go on the preach, hence the book. He might be thinking 'well she's forgiven me, so without all that bitterness, Jehovah might find his way back into her heart again'. Sigh. I am stunned that, after molesting you, he would think that you might one day 'come around' and want to go back to the organisation. It constantly amazes me how unrealistic and small-minded some people can be.

It's a tough call; whether to use this opening to explain to him what your new life is, or whether to just let it go, for fear of the hurt you open yourself up to. HUGS while you think about it.

Finally, CONGRATULATIONS on forgiving him! You must feel like you've really turned a corner.

crazyblondeb

I do feel like the bigger person, right now. Yes, my mom knew what he was doing. Her answer was to hide in her bedroom for years. She even walked in on it. She lives in Missouri--and sometimes it is still too close. There is a whole lot of shit that goes with my story...one of these days. Yea, I've really coped an attitude today. HOW DARE he think that I'd want to go back to what caused so much pain to my 3 sisters and brother. Every time I got in trouble at home, they ran to the elders. Which as you all know means---an invite to the back room. Plus, I always got in trouble at the meetings, assemblies, hell- I think sometimes just for looking at them crossed-eyed. But I did enjoy making them work for their titles!All that time he was a MS, in good standing. I got in all the trouble, he's walking around like the perfect JW-- am I missing the big picture there?

Anyhow, can't sleep right now. It's storming like crazy. I'm also in recovery (meth), I haven't wanted to use as bad as I do now. Talked to my sponsor till she fell over asleep. But, as hard as she tries, she doesn't understand all this crap.

I'm wanting to be a little vindictive. Kim Norris (attorney) didn't think we had enough to take him and the elders to court. I want to figure a way to bring attention to him and the elders where I used to live. It's just that I have this evil side, and it's really coming out tonight.

Thanks for your support. Any evil ideas welcomed!!

Oh, sass_my_frass-- my username didn't come out like I wanted it to. My name is Shelley. It's suppose to look like "crazy blonde b" (b=bitch) Can't figure how to do that.

shelley

iggy_the_fish

My vindictive streak would be telling me to mail a copy of Crisis of Conscience (or your prefered aposto-bestseller) right back at them, and to tell them both to blow their thanks/invitations out of their ar$es. They sound crazy, so I'm not sure anything you do will get through. Very difficult. They're not operating in the parameters of normal human behaviour.

Good luck,

ig.

(I thought your name was deb as well)

ezekiel3

How ironic, you may be the first apostate to receive the new release of the 2005 District Convention.

Pop it on eBAY and cash in!

crazyblondeb

Hell, I hadn't even opened it till now. Yep, it says 2005. Can't believe I got a new book early. Wonder if there's any new light? Not that I could even get thru the first paragraph without gagging. Wonder what would happen if it went on ebay! I don't know shit about ebay.

I actually thought of sending one of my pagan books to him. But I'm not going to waste a good book like that! Have there been any assemblies in California. That's where he is. Now I feel special. That calls for something drastic to happen.....

shelley

LouBelle

I've read your story and I know the feeling of wanting to let them know. I did - but in a way that I hope didn't cause offence....I just said that I can no longer adhere to their beliefs because what they teach is false & I cannot & will not be indoctrinated any longer - all my witness family know & the sense of freedom because now I don't have to hide my true feelings.

Something I hate is LABELLING - the wittnesses do this and I reckon some of us carry it through. We are not apostates.....they've labelled us that - we are normal people that just don't want to follow their way any longer.......

I guess all I'm trying to say is that the real you wants to be free to do what it wants to do in the open.

Throw the book away - you know you don't need.

What that man (he doesn't deserve the title of stepdad even!!!!!!!!!) is sick & disgusting. Yes you are extremely brave to forgive him, and he has the freaking gall to send you a jw book. I'm so pissed off for you right now - I want to break something.

Scully

crazyblonde (I'm leaving off the "b" cuz I don't think you're one, but being a nurse, I get the "b" word thrown at me sometimes too in the course of performing my duties )

You mentioned that Kim Norris didn't think you had enough evidence to take your step-dad to court. Has she seen the e-mail where he claims that what he did to you had been eating away at him for years? That sounds like a confession to me, particularly if you reported him to the elders and they chose not to believe you and chose not to report the allegations to the police.

Cheers, Scully

NEW JW book arrived in mail...

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