INLAWS

Es

What is it with the majority of inlaws that seem to thrive on making your life hell????My fiance's mother is really getting to me ive put up with a year of her opinions thrown in my face and year of her telling me how to raise my son. She has completely taken over our wedding day and at our engagement her daughter who is also my bridesmaid turned up 2 hours late to our engagement party drunk and brought her friends and had her own little party, it aslso took her another hour to come and say hi to me!!! And then i get told by my fiance's mother to get over it!!!! She rings up mike all the time to remind him bout stuff that we have already done and we are expected to go there every weekend for dinner. Apparently she doesnt like me to much and i think ite coz Mikes her favourite and ive taken that away from her, she is also a control freak and she doesnt like that i can acutally manage a household without her help she hates that. Sorry guys i just needed to vent as everytime i bring this up with partner he gets upset coz im baggin his mum arggggggggggg es

jeanniebeanz

I'm worried that if he won't back you now when he is on his best behaviour, he'll not stand behind you at all after the wedding. Sounds like you've got a stressful time ahead.

My mum in law is a real piece of work, but hubby backs me all the way. If he didn't, it'd be adios...

J

Why Georgia

Believe me it could always be worse...My MIL is cookoo.

She talks about suicide and rape in front of my children and her other grandchildren like it's an appropriate conversation for their tender ears. She makes up lies about me. She has at least 3 different people living inside of her...

On top of it she's an academy award winning actress who makes all the other jw's think she's some perfect little victimized saint.

I'll trade ya!

Better get your future hubby to lay down the law now and and make sure he tells Mumsy it was his idea and not yours...otherwise the rest of your life is going to be hellish.

I feel for you....

Maybe you could move far far away from her...

Good luck!

Es

thanks guys yeah well he has just started standing up for me but he hates confrontation he is such a meek person but he knows how i feel now and he has apologised for not standing up for me sooner....but she def needs to be put in her place

jeanniebeanz

but she def needs to be put in her place

You are so right. And that place is no where near a place of authority in your marriage!!

My ex mother in law was constantly meddling; nothing I did was right. The kids were not clean enough/the kids were never allowed to get dirty and just play. I did'nt cook well/Larry was getting fat. I should contribute economically/a good wife makes her family her priority and working is selfish. I should do more to entertain relatives/I spent too much of his money on entertaining. I was too fat/I was too thin. There was really no place for doing anything right.

In the end, I told her to get out of my face before I slapped hers. It didn't go over so well, but she left me alone after that. I've since learned a little tact... lol

She was by no means the only reason for the breakup of my first marriage, but believe me, having my husband run to her for any little stupid thing and compare me to her constantly did not help. In fact, if I knew what a weenie he was when it came to his mom before I married him, the marriage would not have taken place. I went through hell with that man for 15 years...

J

Es

I hear you Jeannie my first hubby was like that although he didnt particulary like his mum but he was always wanting me to make amends with her. It was alright for me to tell my folks to get stuffed but the same didnt apply for me. And my new fiance knows this and he also knows the day he repectes his parents feelings over mine is the day i leave. When we told her we were getting married you could see she wasnt all the excited and happy for us even the fact that this will be the first wedding in there family for 30 years. She said it happend ratehr quickly and i replied well we were either goin to have a child this year or get married her response was " I think its better you get a job before you have any more children" I have supported my son from the day he was born (to my ex)its hard to find work that will allow you to work two days a week i have no family that can babysit as all work full time so i make do with my pension. I think she feels her son supports me which isnt the case at all es

Netty

coz Mikes her favourite and ive taken that away from her,

This is exactly what I figured out about my MIL. She literally used to call my hubby up, when he was just a boyfriend, (and we were living in SIN! there I said it SIN!) Anyway, I am serious here, at 6:00 a.m. on Saturday and Sunday, because

A-She needed the newspaper

B-She needed Coffee,

C- She needed eggs.

I kid you not! One time we went to an elderly ladies house who was about to go into a nursing home, and she had 2 brand new lazy boy recliners, I fell in love with them, I wanted them so bad. Hubby decided to surprise me, had them on the truck and everything, stopped by her house to drop them off, and guess what, they never made it home to me. He never even told me, later on she let it slip and said "I had to cry for 45 minutes straight to convince him to give me the recliners instead of take them home to you" I could go on for hours about stuff she has pulled on me.

Having said all that, I can tell you honestly, it does get better, with time. Just give it some time. Stand your ground and make your place with your fiance, after a while she will get tired. He may not stand up and scream from the mountain tops in your defense the way you want him to (mine never did and never will) but he now takes his stand for me in his own way (he has learned to ignore her).

JW83

Es, I'm feeling your pain! I bitched about my mother-in-law up until about 3 months ago (I've been with my husband for almost 4 years!) Then I started spending more time with her, because I had to drop my daughter off there once a week, & we actually started to develop our own relationship. Amazing, I know I still grumble, but I don't mean it as much as I once did!

If your MIL isn't actually certifiable, maybe you could just go & get coffee together one day - make her feel like you wouldn't mind spending some time just with her so that she can get to know you. It worked with mine, anyway, & we actually spent 20 minutes on the phone together last night!

Es

Heya JW83 i have tried so much to be myself round her, granted it hasnt been one on one, but for a while we all were goin swimming twice a week I would cook dinner for all of us once a week,she stopped coming once she realised my son and i were not goin to stop going swimming, i have invited them out on family outings. I go to everyone of there birthdays outings,I made them easter gifts and so on. And its just so annoying what i get back. Like get this last weekend she msg mikes phone to say would you both like to come over for dinner on sunday night...we had been fighting alot bout his sis behaviour at our engagement....so he msg his mum back and said we were in need of some quality time together. Next thing he tells me she had invited him over for coffee. He then proceeds to tell me he told her we have been fighting but not what we were fighting bout so her msg back was why dont you yourself come over for coffee you may need some time to yourself. We love you and we are here for you!!! Im like WTF es

Es

I cant believe your mother in law netty......I guess im a ball breaker when it come to stuff like that I would have let my parnter have it for giving her those chairs. What is it with mothers and there sons.....bout time to cut the apron strings es

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