INLAWS (page 2)

JW83

Es, she sounds like a bit of a dragon! Love for her son shouldn't equal exclusion or outright joy when you 2 are fighting! I have had similar problems ... My hubby has narcolepsy which has only begun to publicly occur since I've known him & she practically blamed the stress of being with me! 'Yes, it's my fault your son has a hereditary neurological condition!'

jeanniebeanz

'Yes, it's my fault your son has a hereditary neurological condition!'

Ummm, riiiiiggghhhhtttt... (in my best Dr. Evil voice...)

Here's one for you, how the stupidest woman in the world (me) could have born the smartest children in the world (her grandkids) is one for 'Unsolved Mysteries'... Oh, that's right! I forgot that her son contributed somewhat to their existence. Afterall, he was so smart; he had actually graduated from High School and had a good job, working in his daddys business. Nevermind that he only had the job because his dad got his licence taken away because he got one too many DUI's (another fine upstanding member of the Redwood Valley Congregation to this day), and he needed someone to drive him back and forth to work every day...

Sometimes, these ladies only see what they want to see... Please tell me that I am not going to be one of those MIL's from hell...

I have considered giving my future son's in law a little card that says, "Back off Woman !" and if they ever feel that I am being a jerk, they can give it back to me with the up-front agreement that I cannot say a word!!

J

Frog

Oh dear babe, what a horrible icky mess inlaws can make when they intrude so heavily into your lives. I think you're right, she's not ready to let go, and she is feeling a little threatened that someone much younger than her is able to take her place. She needs to realise that you guys all have your place in the family, and that you are adding to their family, not taking away from it. It's a shame it has to be such a battle, I really can't imagine how frustrating it must be for you, well I can imagine, but don't know from personal experience. When I think of all my ex-boyfriends and their mothers, I shudder to think that any of them might have become my mother in-laws, yeash, just seems like such hard work. Things will settle down eventually though when she knows you're hear to stay. Keep standing your ground, and yes absolutely your financee should be defending the woman he loves. Meek is a nice quality, but it doesn't excuse him from his responsibility to stand up and be a man and best friend to you:)) Good luck babe, and feel free to vent anytime. frog xx

katiekitten

If men could shag their mothers they would never get married.

Es I feel for you. I think mothers have a sick sort of love for their boys, and get REAL jealous when the boys get partners. Its all very incestuous in my opinion.

Theres a great comedy sketch show in the UK where this big dopey upper class boy takes his girlfriend home to meet his parents in this big mansion. Halfway through a normal conversation, he says in this upper class baby voice 'bitty' 'i want bitty' And the mum goes 'no bitty darling it will spoil your dinner', He goes 'I want bitty mummy I want bitty', and she goes Oh go on then, and gets her tit out and proceeds to breastfeed him. Maybe it loses something in the translation, but its real funny when you see it.

JW83

Katie, I love Little Britain! Hilarious! And oh so true ...

katiekitten

Yay, its not just in the UK.

Im so sheltered!

swiftbreeze

I feel for you....try to get a little closer to her, maybe it will get better.

I hated my ex MIL....everytime someone in the family confronted her on her selfish ways she would fake a fall...or pretend she was sick.. just to keep from having to admit being wrong. Everytime she went to the hospital the doctors could never find anything wrong but she would always tell the JW's at the hall that she had a mild stroke because of stress...I remember one time i bought her the ugliest, stinkiest, half dead bunch of flowers i could find and put them in an old coffee mug.. and i smiled big and wide when i brought them to her . then she bought me a real thick long granny gown with a hound dog print all over it.

swiftbreeze

You're on to something katiekitten...i think there is something more than parental love going on with some mothers and sons. i think that they just can't stand the thought of their sons listening to another woman and not being able to have the last say.

LyinEyes

My MIL is more of a mother figure to me than my own mother ever was. I didnt understand her for along time and there were times things were said and done that seem silly now. She has been my MIL for 20 yrs now and as I grew up, each year I understood her more and more. I guess I had to have my own children to understand the love she had for her five. When my son started dating his g/f and they were together for over a year, I understood how my MIL must have felt when her son left home and got with me....I know my MIL gave all of her time and attention to taking care of her kids because she had to, my FIL had to work off just like my hubby does now . I had to learn to let my son have his own time and that he was growing up.

I think some MIL just seem to be all nosey and into your business but maybe it is not for hateful reasons, maybe it is because they still want to be loved and needed . After 18 or more years of taking care of your kids if they do live close it would be hard for me not to be involved in their lives everyday....lol. I guess I will just have to see how I will be. I have always said I won't interfer with my grandkids if the parents choose one way and I think it should be another, so I hope my kids choose good mates and raise their kids in a healthy home.

Like I said,,,,,,,I do understand my MIL so much more now that I am older and I wish I had tried years ago to get to know her. She had a very hard life with her parents and now that I have lived life , and have had some crappy experiences, I can understand that sometimes she can seem harsh and bitter. But she has a big heart and she shows it more now as well. Just different personalities was alot of why we didnt understand each other. My daughter is sooo much like her grandmother my MIL and I think that is going to make her a strong person , in this world you need to be.

So just give it time with your MIL, don't sweat the small stuff and understand that she loves her son and will grow to love you like a daughter too, it just takes time and getting to know each other.

Es

Thanks so much for all your replies :) es

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