Hi Minimus,
None of the biggies at Bethel knew what I was thinking and so when I told Daniel Sydlik that I had to leave to take care of my family, no questions were asked. Remember I was a model Bethelite. When I came back to Calif, it would have brought suspicion on me had I NOT let them appoint me as an elder, especially with what was going on at Bethel, so I above all wanted them to have nothing on me, so I waited until I was SURE this was not the truth (although I already knew the GB were idiots and I had no allegiance to them. ) But you know how many feel, that the org is corrupt but most of what they teach is da troof, so it took some studying to tell eventually that ALMOST EVERYTHING they teach is unbiblical, which is a major revelation. Plus, after reading the Bible by itself, I had a major supernatural experience (at least for me) where I felt the presence of Christ IN ME physically for two weeks straight. I did not ask for it nor did I know such a thing existed, but it was reading the Bible about Christ that did it. After that the Watchtower was a joke, because I actually understood what so many born-again Christians were saying about the indwelling of the Spirit. Going back would be a joke after that. In the years that followed, I continued reading early church fathers, parts of the Talmud, Biblical Archeological Review, spoke in seminaries and learned a great deal, spending $100 a month on books for three years, until I got all the basics of biblical interpretation down. Although I am not an inerrantist, most of my conclusions during that time can be found in this folder on my site:
http://www.freeminds.org/doctrine/doctrine.htm
In the years that followed, I became a Foursquare pastor and taught all over, even had my own church of 40% ex-Witnesses and we used to visit all kinds of churches. Then I met Steven Hassan and started doing interventions on JWs and others, and realized that faith cannot be proven from the Bible or life, but it is something that becomes part of you. Now I am an ecclectic Christian, but I can never deny my Lord, for He is in me forever. That is what it means to be truly born again, as real as your love for your parents or wife or whatever. I had no desire to get married beyond that point, after trying for years. I was finally content. Today I can help others without anger, because I am free of struggles with theology and religion. Plus no one in the Watchtower personally did me wrong. I have no anger. And I am quite accepting of all people from all walks of life.
We all have our own story, this is mine.
Randy
http://www.exjws.net
Virtual church if you are too afraid to try fellowship with others: http://www.exjws.net/message/index.htm
