I'm in field service today and I'm not even the guy that took the group out, as a matter of fact, I show up late today as usual. Well anyway, I'm assigned to be on another street with my mother and some other witnesses. At this point I'm the only brother because the other guy hasn't shown up yet. On the first street the sisters ask which block I want them to do first, so I tell them to do the block the brother said to do at the Hall. After I do this, some other sister across the street has already started and she's in the opposite block and saying we're supposed to be over there (We got sisters that don't listen at our Hall), so I don't get offended and I just say "Okay, since they're already over there, we can start over there then." Okay, now when we get to the next street, the same sister asks me again where they should start and I ask them what does the majority prefer. After everyone comes to a satisfied agreement on how they want to do it, I get this speech from someone about how I should just be "The Brother" and tell them what to do. I think this is stupid because it wasn't really a big deal to me, it was just picking a block to work in first. I mean I have much bigger issues to deal with on my job, stuff like that is meaningless to me. After they tell me this stuff, I actually start quoting some of the words I've seen people use in the forums by saying that "I'm not into the whole dictatorship thing, and that I'm okay with leaving things open to people." So what do you guys think, I've gotten confronted in the past about "Being the Brother" and just want to know, does it seem like I'm less of a man for doing what I did or was that just them being too bossy and anal?
What's your view on my "Being the Brother" issue that came up today?
by soundbox_guy 30 Replies latest jw friends
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jgnat
You were with a bunch of elder-ettes.
They know they have no authority.
But they got a mouth on them and know how to twist the new boy's shorts in a knot.
So they do.
This happens in any organization where power is not evenly distributed.
"You're the boss. You make the decision."
"That's a lousy decision. You should have done the other thing."
"No, I won't make the decision, because I am not the big fat boss."
"So, boss, what is your decision?"
"That was a stupid decision."
...and so on.
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Netty
does it seem like I'm less of a man for doing what I did or was that just them being too bossy and anal?
You are actually more of a man, for being flexible. In the real world, you have would appeared arrogant or stubborn, if you were to insist on doing it one way, when someone had already started doing it another. Yes, these sisters are bossy and anal and need to get a life.
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Purza
does it seem like I'm less of a man for doing what I did or was that just them being too bossy and anal?
You sound like a kind man who didn't mind letting the women make a decision. How refreshing! Those "sisters" were anal and need to get a life.
JMHO
Purza
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Aude_Sapere
I agree with the others.
A thought crossed my mind that maybe they just didn't know how to respond to an open, honest, kind, reasonable person/man/brother.
But maybe my post-mates above were more on track: They were bossy complainers.
We've all seen them. Maybe the answer could also be: 'Yup. I'm the brother. And my decision today is to take a vote. Make a game of it as you teach them how to grow up, make a decision, get along and get on with it.
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sonnyboy
I get this speech from someone about how I should just be "The Brother" and tell them what to do.
Judeo/Christian misogyny at its best.
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crazyblondeb
Let's face it, elderettes, or any females are not allowed to think for themselves. That applies to any type of decision-no matter how anal or small it is. They didn't know how to react without being told what to do. It's all pretty pathetic to me. This is one of those...don't get me started!........threads!
shelley
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blondie
I was a fairly capable sister. But the rules are if a qualified brother is present; a sister is being presumptuous if she organizes the field service group. Some brothers have delegated the details to the sisters when he realizes they know the territory better than he does or the territory is assigned to the sister and she knows what has been worked. Other brothers will insist and made a mess of it. You have to realize that if sisters "take the lead" improperly, she could be severely counseled by the elders for lacking submission. Sisters can't win. Next time try the delegation route.
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katiekitten
You are a flexible reasonable person who values people (men AND women) and cares for their feelings.
You shouldnt be wasting all these valuable skills on field service, where they are guaranteed not to be recognised. You should be getting proper recognition and remuneration for your skills set in a forward thinking company that would bite your hand off to get such a capable manager.
Best of luck with your life choices, young 'un .
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BluesBrother
I get this speech from someone about how I should just be "The Brother" and tell them what to do.
if the someone was a 'sister' she was out of line to tell you off. But check out all the links and refs on this board. You may find reasons to second guess the best use of your time in the 'ministry' anyway. The only reason to call at someones door is to tell them what is really true. If you carefully check out the information, you will wonder why they call it "The Truth" Try http://www.geocities.com/osarsif/index2.htm