Do you "now" look for more reasons to dislike or hate the JW's?

by free2beme 32 Replies latest jw friends

  • free2beme
    free2beme

    I have noticed from reading over this site and from having contact with former Witnesses in my personal life, that a lot of time is consumed in the beginning of your exit from the Witnesses, with finding further reasons to hate or dislike the Jehovah's Witnesses.

    With this I was wondering, is this done to give yourself more reason not to return or is it an expression of your freedom to find out what you want without borders. From a pure psychological stand-point, I am prone to wonder if it is a means of feeding an inner anger to bring one a faults sense of security, when they are challenged from within to decide if what they are really dealing with is correct thinking or a path that is truly wrong.

    Who hasn't at times wondered when things like natural disasters, wars or personal tragedy, happen in life, "are the Jehovah's Witnesses actually right!" What I wonder though, is it sound in mind to replace these doubts with something that makes us angry. For example, we hear about 9/11 and wonder if this is the end, even if only for a split second of time (happens, I can face that), does my mind benefit to instantly remember, "But those Witnesses have covered up child abuse" or "They have changed their beliefs to control their people?"

    In any sense it seems to me, personally, that healing does not mean that we pile anger upon confusion to solve a problem and to do so can only replace our lives with a path of extreme unhealthy confusion, when in many ways we were looking at some form of loving path in the past (faults as it may have been). I just sit and wonder, with all the years that have passed by since my exit, how much of those ups and downs were filled with thoughts of anger about items I search for after the exit and how much was really the reason I left for.

    I guess what I am trying to say, and I am perhaps saying it wrong, is that we all left or were expelled for a reason. If that reason was so weak that we had to look for something later to make it more solid, then are we truly being true to ourselves about what life has brought us to or are we merely just making it up as we go along to make ourselves feel better about something we really do not truly believe. Yet we spoon feed ourselves enough daily to keep the faith in doubt alive. In any sense, it was something I was thinking about and wanted to see some input on. As I am sure such a statement can create several avenues of thinking, and perhaps an insight I have not thought of. In all though, to say my thinking on this matter is limited to a few paragraphs and not more detailed in completion, would be incorrect and narrow and aspect.

  • luna2
    luna2

    I'm sure others here could answer this better than I can. All I can say is that for me there is a good amount of sadness and even shame that I feel now for having been so gullible (I became a JW as an adult) and wasting a good portion of my life and my kids' lives on a sham. Going through these topics is a way to work through some of the stubborn bits of programming still lingering, as well as a way of figuring out WHY I was suseptible to this crap in the first place.

    The funny threads (which often ridicule doctrine, the GB, "ones taking the lead" and even ordinary JW's) are a welcome bit of levity as I pick up the pieces of my life and try to figure out where I'm going from here. It may seem to be meaness for meaness' sake, but I think it serves a purpose...even if it's just to make us smile.

  • Honesty
    Honesty

    I feel sorry for them because their eternal happiness is at stake.

  • Markfromcali
    Markfromcali
    I guess what I am trying to say, and I am perhaps saying it wrong, is that we all left or were expelled for a reason. If that reason was so weak that we had to look for something later to make it more solid, then are we truly being true to ourselves about what life has brought us to or are we merely just making it up as we go along to make ourselves feel better about something we really do not truly believe.

    That's a good observation. For many I think it's a matter of having a new identity, that of the exJW/anti-JW/apostate or just some new religious identity. It all depends on how seriously you take it, obviously a label is just a label. There are some who honestly don't know what to think, certainly in the beginning that tends to be the case, whereas with others it is a 180 degree flip. In a recent thread about beliefs I made the observation that beliefs in themselves do not necessarily create a problem, but when you identify with them ("I AM a Jehovah's WItness") you naturally will feel threatened and want to preserve that identity because your sense of self is wrapped up in it, perhaps just as much as you would from physical threats that might do you bodily harm. This belief of identity is I think the central belief, everything else really revolves around that self identity. And of course there is the social dimension too, this kind of forum is largely made up of people who are anti-JW.

    I think you make a good point about being true to ourselves, because all the information in the world isn't going to make a difference if you have not resolved it within yourself, and of course as far as being mentally free that's what it's all about. This would be very different from taking one side or the other, it's a matter of your freedom and your responsibility to yourself.

  • frankiespeakin
    frankiespeakin

    I personally do not hate the JWs. I think hating the JWs is a big waste of energy, and very misdirected. So I do not look for reason to hate.

    I also realize that when you find out you have been so thoughly and cruelly decieved, you will experience a host of conflicting emotions, that need to be expressed safely some how and that if you force them out of your mind or repress them you will suffer more. This forum is just one of many ways this can be done, and in the process bring about a eye opening exposure to all who lurk on forums like this.

  • skyman
    skyman

    It is like a divorce some end on good terms but most end bitterly. as for me I am pissed I know the Governing body know the Bull Sheet is not true. I know they know that their stand on blood is wrong and don't give a sheet how it destroys families. I know they know that 607 BCE is wrong. I know they joined the UN for some other reason than to be able to go to the library that even I can go into without being a member of the NGO's . I sacrificed my baby girls life to be faithful that is I made the decision to be faithful and not let her have a transfusion as things turned out she lived but I still sacrificed her life to the Governing body Anti Chirst's. I don't have to be nice to the Society but as for the people I love them very much and I do not try to find ways to hate them. I hope they all will come to their senses.

  • betrayedbyall
    betrayedbyall

    When you are raised JW and from your earliest thinking moments until your adult life you are indoctrinated with "THE TRUTH" and when your entire reason for being revolves fully around a central focus of what "THE SOCIETY" says is right or wrong it is entirely natural to feel huge emotions of anger and hurt when reflecting on what this organization is responsible for. When others post here and voice there anger, or hurt as the case might be they are not looking for reasons to dislike or hate the JW's, they are pouring put there emotions as a means of seeking a healing.

    Mind control is so strong with the JW's, you are misled to believe many things non JW's take for granted are wrong, for example the right to speak out when you do not agree on a matter, as a JW you get korah and others stuffed down your throat, told you are showing signs of apostacy, told to re think on the matter, in other words, get back in line !! It is a falsehood that most leaving or being expelled by the jehovahs witness sect were wrongdoers or apostates, that is very often not the case, many have been forced out because they took a stand for what was right, that is something the self seeking men in control in there kingdom halls cannot abide, once you take a stand and show them you will not simply shut up and fall in line they seek to destroy you, this is when there judicial committee's and public reproofs are used as weapons to discredit you not only in the eyes of your life long friends but with your own family, at this point you either buckle down and say you were wrong and repent, even thought you were trying to defend a priciple, or stand by your convictions and be labelled apostate, in this way the jehovahs witness organization washes principled and honest hearted people out of there so called brotherhood.

    So finally I would say this to you, many many innocent people have been robbed of there joy, robbed of there family and robbed of there friends simply for daring to voice an opinion, for being honest and for standing by there principles, when such ones do voice how they feel it does not mean there reason for leaving was weak, or they are looking for ways to justify there actions, they are simply telling it as it is, and hoping others can relate to what they have gone through or are going through.

  • skyman
    skyman

    betrayedbyall I Like you comment

    forced out because they took a stand for what was right, that is something the self seeking men in control in there kingdom halls cannot abide, once you take a stand and show them you will not simply shut up and fall in line they seek to destroy you

    That is what happened to me. it was not the blood issue that made me finally quit it was the UN issue that Elders wanted me to admit and say it was not true. Then after I called the Society they wanted me to believe the lie given to me. I could not do this I had to stand for the truth no matter what happened. betrayedbyall you put it just the way it is. Thank you

  • Balsam
    Balsam

    I believe for most of us, when the realization hits that we were fooled, we get pissed and pissed for good reason especially if we sacrificed a great deal to be a JW.

    It all has to do with the betryal don't you think? Most of us feel betrayed by a group of people we used to trust, love and respect. Of course they are as dubbed as we were, so we can sometimes excuse them. Does it makes us any less angry with them for being unwilling to see they are being fooled? No of course not. Can't help but think of others who might have been angry with us for not seeing that we were fooled by the WTS before we left.

    If one still has thoughts that the WTBTS has some element of the the so called "Truth", then they will cling to it's teachings and there by blame themselves rather than it all be a falsehood. There is no absolute truth, and JW's have none of it anymore than any other religion does.

    Just how I see it now after 4 years out.

  • the_classicist
    the_classicist

    The most attention I pay to the world of 'dubdom is this forum. I dislike the JW organization, and some of the people are annoying, but hey, it's like that everywhere.

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