Please advise.

by embalmed 39 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Maverick

  She is most likely being pressured by the Elders to force you to stay to, "save" you!

  They did the same thing to me when my daughter was thinking about baptism. I talked her out of it because she was doing it to fit in with her friends and not because she really believed. I was a member of the servant body then, but I did not want her doing it for the wrong reason. I did not think God wanted the unwilling. But the God I worship is not an extortioner. The WTS god is a petty, jealous, spite filled god who wants people frightened or guilted into serving him.

  Explain to your Mom that at some point we each have to decide for ourselves what is best. God gave us free will and using extortion is not something a loving God would ever condone! Can we fool God? Would He not know if our heart was not in it? Even the government recognizes that at 18 you can enter into contracts or be sent off to war. Should you not be able to think for yourself about spiritual things? Ask her to just be there for you and love you and thank her for her love and concern. The WTS dupes will tell her to get you to agree for a set period of time to come to all the meeting and go in service, and after that time you can do what you want. I do not recommend this tactic, Mom has proven that she will not honor this. You gave the WTS all those years, you owe then no more.

  Remember they have no problem lying to you to save you.
• 

  Nosferatu

  I know how you feel. I was in the same position. I thought that when I turned 18, it would automatically become my decision to attend meetings. Didn't happen. I got the "under my roof" bullshit too. My mother got a new person to study with me who was "closer to my age". She figured that I would be able to relate a lot better. That didn't work either. I began rebelling big time. I would use homework as an excuse to stay home from the Book Study and the Thursday night meeting. I would lay on my bed with my books open, and write in my journal. It looked like I had a pile of homework, and it worked well for me.

  Moving out would make your exit a lot easier. Rebelling will put a lot of stress on you and strain your relationship with your parents. Whatever you decide, just remember that it won't last forever, and I hope it all works out for you in the end.
• 

  OldSoul

  You could easily make such an ass of yourself at the hall that the brothers request that your mother stop bringing you.

  I have suggestions. PM me if interested.
• 

  Ellie

  Is there no way that you can get your mum to understand that the religion isn't for you?

  That by attending meetings you are being hypocritical and will be seen as such by everyone, making you look worse to the outside world and bringing reproach upon Jehovah?

  Try not to argue with her, I know how stubborn JW are in general.

  But take everyones advice and start saveing (but I'd keep this secret from her if I where you).
• 

  Thegoodgirl

  I agree, you unfortunately have to move out if she tells you, but, when's your birthday? Did you graduate high school this month? Tell your mom, you are working on moving out, but don't jump into a bad situation. Carefully plan out your move. save money, maybe get some sane roomates with lofty goals like college. I think if you let your mom know you are working on getting out, she won't throw you out into the street the first meeting you miss. And I do like that idea of getting a job where you miss most meetings due to "schedule conflicts". I know my first job was being a CNA (nursing assistant). Not the most sought after career, but plenty of jobs. You can get an easy job by working as a personal nursing assistant to a pleasant elderly person in their own home versus working at a nursing home. That's what I did, it worked out fine, and there are plenty of night shifts. You can also work for a home health company who will help you find these jobs. Hopefully you'll be able to work your way through college with that and loans and hopefully some scholarships. Look for housing scholarships where they provide a place for you to stay during college. (That's also what I did, it was a lifesaver, and fun living with other college kids climbing out of a bad situation like me. Made some great friends.) Scholarship appliations are great places to tell your story that you are discouraged by your family and friends from pursuing higher education, but that's what you want to do. They love that stuff.
• 

  defective light
• 

  defective light
• 

  defective light

  Tell your mom:

  You believe in freedom of religion and freedom from religion !

  and that her rules deny you that process..... If she balks..... tell her to kiss your ass!
• 

  Elsewhere

  I know this sounds harsh, but the bottom line is this: Whoever pays the bills makes the rules.

  Do your best to find a job and a place to live, maybe with some roommates to help with the bills.

  When you are moving out, remind your mother that "Whoever pays the bills makes the rules" and that one day she will be old and feeble and dependent on YOU.

  (Ain’t karma a bitch)
• 

  La Capra

  Embalmed,

  Until you are ready to move out, try not to rock the boat. Now that it's summer, get full time work. Save, save save. Help out your mom as much as you can, help around the house, when she gets pissy, try not to get pissy back. Keep your room clean, do the dishes, vacuum the house... try to remember that you have a loftier goal, to get away from those meetings.

  If you can keep peace around there, then the only conflict you have to deal with is the religion.

  And yes, it is how your mom is perceived by the others that is motivating her. It seems really evil, but it's a natural urge. Everyone wants to fit in, including your mom.

  Surviving high school, saving some cash, getting out of there eventually, that's the goal. Dealing with your mom and the meetings is a trivial detail (like taking out the trash). Try to rise above. And keep us posted. I wonder from time to time how you are faring.

  Shoshana