Well I remember being told the end was so close I'd probably never reach 18 - I'm now 29 - ja.... Living under the same roof - difficult one - people have suggested you work/study late. Tell her the truth that you just don't want to go anymore - you don't feel it's the truth - this is hard, might put a bit of a strain on the relaitionship but perhaps the truth is the best way.
Please advise.
by embalmed 39 Replies latest jw friends
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Sith
Yep. You can kiss ass and kow tow and pretend to be someone that you're not. You can sit through the meetings and go out in service to please your mom and remain safely under her roof. You can live a lie for room and board and maybe a hot meal once or twice a day. OR you can stand up and be a man. If she kicks your ass out of her house, so be it. I've been on this board long enough, and I've read enough, to realize that "fading" is, in most instances, the pussy way out.
My opinion? Be a man, make a decision and live with the consequences.
Be a man -
itsallgoodnow
Yep. You can kiss ass and kow tow and pretend to be someone that you're not. You can sit through the meetings and go out in service to please your mom and remain safely under her roof. You can live a lie for room and board and maybe a hot meal once or twice a day. OR you can stand up and be a man. If she kicks your ass out of her house, so be it. I've been on this board long enough, and I've read enough, to realize that "fading" is, in most instances, the pussy way out.
So, the only way to be a "man" is to do what Sith tells you to do. However, Sith will not be there for you while you are "living with the consequences", but you will have the warm fuzzy feeling of not labeling yourself a "pussy" for not doing exactly what Sith tells you to do.
I don't know about anybody else, but in my opinion, the fading calls for a lot of strength and it's a lot tougher than letting go and moving on. I've been fading for a long time and let me tell you, people will say to leave right away, don't fade, fading is harder. And I didn't believe them, but I now I know they were right. It is harder. It takes a lot of mental strength to do it and lots of patience. It isn't for pussies. I don't know what makes people say things like this except they must still feel a lot of rage over how they are treated by their families, and they resent others who don't have the same problems.
If you can, and if it works with planning what you want to do with your life (like college), save some money and leave the situation as soon as possible. Don't waste any opportunities screwing around in the mean time, even if that's what other people your age are doing. Remember whatever you decide, you are going to be ok. Whether you leave tomorrow and find it tough to get by for a while or whether you stay for awhile, you are going to be ok. Either decision is going to be tough to carry out. She's forcing you into a corner with this type of financial abuse, and you've got difficult times ahead either way.
Also, you only mentioned your mom. Does your dad figure into this in any way that could be useful?
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EvilForce
It's always easier to tell others what they should do isn't it?
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Netty
I knew I had to leave my parents house, in order to not be a witless anymore. I started planning in high school. I took the Cooperate Office Education class, where they place you in a full time, decent job. I was just 17 years old, working a 37 hour a week job, with full benefits and all. I was able to move out at 19 years of age. I think like I did, you will have to move out to get out of having to be a witness.
BUT, do it like I did. Prepare yourself, dont do anything rash. Get yourself a little bit established, with a decent job before you just take the plunge. If you start out on the wrong foot, being on your own, it will be harder to try and get yourself on track later.
Yes, you might have to suck it up, and endure going to meetings for a while, until you are stable enough to make the move. But the others have given you some good suggestions on how to get out of meetings. It will make it easier to do this, if you just keep telling yourself that it is only temporary, and that you are working towards a goal. That's how I did it. Good Luck to you.
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Dismembered
embalmed
Do I just put my foot down and tell her I am not going anymore?
Yes, especially if you pay room & board
Dismembered
"Cripes"
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sonnyboy
Well, you could first try reasoning with your mom. She's obviously doing it because she wants you to "live forever in paradise on Earth" (barf). Tell her that Jehobah knows what's in your heart, and her focing you to go won't score you any more brownie points than if you don't go. Tell her it's simply making you hate the religion even more.
If that doesn't work, get disfellowshipped. Start taking Tai Kwan Do, donating time and money to the Catholic church, and getting involved in politics, and make sure everyone knows about it. If that doesn't get you DFed, start fornicating with on of the elders' sons or daughters and light up a joint during service when you let everyone know.
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Sith
Advice is easy to give and hard to accept. I'm sure "fading" is difficult. So is living a lie. Neither choice is an easy one. The only opinion I can offer is my own.
"It isn't for pussies. I don't know what makes people say things like this except they must still feel a lot of rage over how they are treated by their families, and they resent others who don't have the same problems."
Most of my anger stems from the fact that nobody heard my side of things. I was DFed and had to slink away to lead a life of being shunned by close family members. My biggest regret is that I never stood up and told them exactly what I believed and how I felt. Now it's too late...I'm an apostate and they won't listen to a word I say.
One apostate's opinion. -
mrsjones5
Save your money, put up a front, and get out as soon as possible. this is the same advice me and my sister gave to our little brother.
Get out of dodge!
Josie
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mkr32208
Go to the meetings and make apostate comments! When the speaker says "we're no part of the world" say "yeah except the UN you for got that!" When the speaker says "the child abusing cathlics" say yeah and brother touchy feely over there lets not forget him!" When you go out in service tell the house holder "Im only here because they make me don't take any of this stuff it's trash" When the elders say something to you tell them "Just tell my mom to leave me home then I don't want to be here"
I don't think you'll make it throught too many more meetings! If she kicks you out who cares it's time to grow up anyway I moved out at 18!