My Tale (its about time too!!!)

by PaulJ 28 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Gordy
    Gordy
    One last thought was something i wrote in my dis-ass letter. I explained to the elders that they were given the job as shepherds. If then a sheep fell into a hole, how would it get out unless the shepherd came down to save it? No-one came to save me. I was let down. I begged for help for years and never got so much as a telephone call.

    Paul

    I completely agree with what you say here, a good illustartion. Like your "shepherds" like mine made no attempt to get me out of my "hole" in fact they seem to be make the whole deeper.

    If just one of them had come and said "Come on, we'll get you through this and back on your feet. We'll give you the help and support you need" I would probably still be a JW. But there idea of "help and support" was to split the family up, making my wife to get me to leave because I was a "spiritual danger" to the family.

    I used to think I was the onlt one it had happened too. Then I came on this forum and others and discovered how many people had suffered the same. Far from being rescued from a hole the "shepherds" threw you into a deeper one.

  • PaulJ
    PaulJ

    It felt like being kicked in the teeth. They always make out they are there for you, proclaiming they are the 'servants' of the congregation. When i really needed them, they werent there.

  • Crumpet
    Crumpet

    Wow - Paul it looks like you've got half your family here too! How cool is that? I wish I had that opportunity! Maybe one day!

  • LouBelle
    LouBelle

    Shew, it seems everyday I sit on here and cry. I think it's absolutely fabulous that you pulled yourself toward yourself and made some hard decisions that were extremely painful at the time but need to be done.

    And it's great Mumz's out too.

    Thank you for opening your heart,pain & healing up to us.

  • Ellie
    Ellie

    Wow Paul, what a sad story, I really feel for you.

    Atleast you are in a position now to look forward and be happy.

    Best of luck to you!

  • diamondblue1974
    diamondblue1974

    Wow...Hell of a life for a 28 year old!!...your story serves as a useful reminder to me that some people have a worse life than my own...its great you have come through it and seemingly so strong too...

    See you round the forum.

    DB74

  • PaulJ
    PaulJ

    Thanks for all your great replies, I cant explain how good it felt when i had finished and finally pressed 'send'. Thanks for all being so encouraging.

    Paul

  • dontnowat2believe
    dontnowat2believe

    Hi Paul,

    Yours is a very sad story, and like mine and just about everyone else on this board as soon as you have made the decision to leave sooner or later your life starts to improve. Its great to see that you have the support of your family thats something I wish I had but I wouldnt trade being able to think what I want, or want to believe in in return for my my Family. My mums a jw but she has never turned me away even though shes been told im a bad news ( actually they called me a spiritual blackhole, what ever that is?). She has suffered from depresson for over 12 years, she has been treated like a leper by her congragation with no visits, nobody wants to talk to her and she walks to every meeting and back on her own, she lives about four miles from the kh and its in the middle of an industrial estate, she often lies when once in a blue moon a brother offers her a lift home by saying she has a lift home, why ? Because her oldest son , my older brother is an elder and she doesnt want him to be shamed for letting his 52 year old suicidal, metal ill mother, walk home on her own. My point is this, If an elder cant be F***ked to help his own family when their the bottom of the spirtual food chain, then what kind of help can we expect ???

    Its great to hear you have found someone who will support you and allow you yo be happy and yourself. Take care

    Pete

  • PaulJ
    PaulJ

    Hi Pete

    Welcome to the board!

    spiritual blackhole

    Hhhhmmm, Ive not heard that one before! Maybe you should get a t-shirt made?

    I know what you mean about your brother. My dad was similar. Although not an elder, he would always prefer to do things for bro's and sis' in the congregation, instead of spend time with his us. So we were always a bit neglected.

    Paul

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