Theres an interesting thread here: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/14/92000/1.ashx and i thought i'd open up the discussion again in the guise of "coming-out" to JWD. It's taken me about 5 hours to get the language and style of this post right. (The number 5 strikes again, it must really be the end of the world, hehe ).
The Watchtower's "chosen lifestyle" or "learned behavior" arguement is the worst piece of tripe i've heard in all my life. Do they really think that the child who was bullied in the playground for being gay CHOSE to be like that? It just takes a bit of logic to work that out. Wanting a monogamous, loving relationship with another individual is most definately natural and NOT a "learned behavior". Going to meetings 3 times a week is learned behavior, ministry on saturday and sunday mornings is learned behavior, knowing how to defend the 1914 doctrine using faulty reasoning and evidence is learned behavior.
I feel there's no reason to believe in the rubbish that homosexuality is "nurtured" or "learned"... and i feel there's no need to look to scientists to prove it. As gay guy i feel i have the first hand experience to be able to make such a claim...
My story follows:
I was brought up in a "spiritual" family (according to Witness standards), i have a regular pioneer mother and elder/regular pioneer father of the "never miss a meeting unless on your deathbed" variety. Plenty of "wholesome christian association". NEVER had any "worldly" friends at all. I've always associated with the children of elders or ministerial servants in nearby congregations (some of whom are presently faithfully serving the WTS at Bethel, in a foreign field or as regular pioneers). I've spent much time in the ministry with long-serving regular pioneers and was always encouraged to "reach out" to Bethel service or regular pioneering. Never suffered any physical or sexual abuse... Although my birth mother passed away when i was young, my father remarried another Regular Pioneer sister in the congregation who, even before my mother's death, was very close to my family. I even have a photograph somewhere of me in a push-chair pioneering with my real mother ("from infancy" indeed).
It definately was NOT nurture that made me gay.
If you ask most gays they will tell you that they first noticed feelings of attraction toward the same sex between the ages of 7 and 13, (at about the same age as straight children begin to "notice" the opposite sex at the onset of puberty).
I myself noticed this at about 8, but even before that, i noticed i was sexually repulsed by the opposite sex. Seeing my friends playing infantile games of "girlfriend/boyfriend" always left me feeling left-out somehow. I always put the 'repulsion' down to having been brought up as a witness with clean moral standards ("I'm gonna be celebate like Paul").
However, i quickly began to realise that the negative sexual feelings toward girls was manifesting itself as a positive feeling for guys. The feelings i had for one of my male friends was less like a "hiya mate", *pat on the back* type of friendship and more like a crush. In my childhood egocentrism, i thought these feelings were totally unique to me and i thought that i had somehow subconsciously invented them. It did cross my mind once or twice as slightly odd, but in my precious childhood innocence, i didn't feel guilty.
The guilt came when i connected what i'd learnt at school with what i'd learnt at the meetings.
As a child, I had never even heard of same-sex relationships (i may have heard some negative references to 'homosexuality' in a congregation meeting or two, but would not have known what it meant). The one day, suddenly, homosexuality was explained vaguely in a sex-education class at the age of 11. I put the two sources of knowledge together, identified myself as gay and realised that this was really "something that Jehovah did not approve of".
As i began to hear over and over and over again at the meetings that being gay was a sin, that homosexuality was the sin of Sodom and Gomorrah, and i wouldn't inherit God's Kingdom, feelings of guilt swept over me... "Maybe i can change, maybe... maybe... maybe i can get married and live a "normal" life", (thank god i realised that the WTS was erroneous before i rushed onto such a path).
I felt immensely guilty, and i dealt with that guilt by using the Orwellian tactic of 'doublethink'. I knew that i was gay, but denied it at the same time, thinking that Jehovah would still save me at Armageddon if i went to enough meetings and put enough hours on my Field Service Report... occasionally i still do feel guilty when i'm feeling low (an ideal state of mind to be manipulated by the WT Society).
I'm the only son of the longest standing elder in our congregation, and my family is known throughout the circuit as being faithful to Jehovah, so a lot is expected of me. But, the one stupid thing i did was to get baptised. I did it for a variety of reasons: congregation expectations (to stop the constant barrage of questions), and even a belief that if i take the plunge, suddenly Jehovah's Holy Spirit would suddenly rush over me and Satan would stop plaguing me with this "affliction"... Needless to say, i recieved no Holy Spirit, and all i did was increase the expectations that the congregation had of me. I even had comments from brothers and sisters who have warned me to stay faithful, so that i'll be able to see my real mother in the New System. *Translation: If you don't stay in the organisation, you will never see your dead mother again.* (How loving)
Thankfully, i've had an opportunity to live away from my parents and the congregation for a year, as part of my university studies, (while pretending to be going to meetings and being an active publisher). I've had a chance to purge myself of guilt and make new REAL friends.
But, my parents never wanted me to go to university or leave home in the first place; i had a "shepherding visit" from two elders in order to access whether i was spiritually strong enough to go away and not be under the guidance of my parents and the congregation. Even when my parents finally conceded to let me go, they stipulated that it was only going to be for a short time. As a result, i'm just about to go back to live with them in about two months... The thing i'm most afraid of, is getting back into the mindset of guilt, but i'm pretty sure i can attend meetings and begin the process of fading. It will be difficult though because of the expectations piled upon me.
In the same way as Jehovah's Witneses are programmed to believe certain things about the moral issues, society in general is programmed to believe certain things about gays. In the same way as many of us "apostates" once felt guilty for going against Watchtower doctrine and embracing their freedom of thought, many gays actually felt and still feel guilty for going against society's norms and embracing their own natural feelings.
This is the real subversive "nurture / inculcation / brainwashing" that is present in both society and in THE Society that urgently needs to be dealt with and wiped out. If it is not, many, many more people are going to be hurt.