Venting Frustration

prophecor

I want out. I've invested energy unimagimable into this relationship. I'm in. I'm getting older, and more bitter as the days go by. Loving on next to Nothing was a tune sung by Gladys Knight & the Pips sometime ago. That's how it feels from time to time. Unfortunately for me, it's a recurring feeling.

I sometimes wish that maybe I could've married in the truth, at least I'd have someone who even remotely understands what it is to be JW, even if she was in and I was out. The want and the desire to have someone in my life who can understand what it's like to be where I've been. The upbringing of children who I've not fathered, suffering with her and them in the struggle with teen pregnancies. I get so frustrated at times, to the point of acting like a madman.

My wife hasn't a clue and there is no amount of trying to make her understand the frustration of wrestling in this life. The religion, the sheltered existence, the doctrines that can haunt and consume our every waking thoughts. The issues of control. It's often more than I can handle. I want out. I want to leave this whole situation.

luna2

I can only imagine, prophecor. Sometimes I have wished that I'd pursued finding another partner after I divorced, but I think the fear of going through the anguish of another bad situation always held me back. Its been 20 years since that relationship ended and I still cringe at the thought of marriage. It has to be hard when you don't feel your spouse understands where you are coming from. I know just talking to never-been-JW friends, that their eyes kind of glaze over when I bring up JW stuff. They say supportive things, but I know they are wondering what the big deal is and why I don't get over it already...so I try not to bring it up.

The teen years with my own sons was more difficult than I was pepared for. Their peers seemed to have more influence and importance in their life than I did and it was frustrating trying to help them learn to make good choices when they wouldn't listen. I can see that it's just as difficult (probably even more difficult) when the kids you are raising are not your biological children. The teen pregnancy thing has to be heartbreaking and frustrating.

I always hope people can find a way to make their relationships work. It's so hard when you don't feel like you can communicate with your spouse and you are laboring under a lot of stress from the family situation. I understand wanting to just chuck it sometimes.

Netty

The religion, the sheltered existence, the doctrines that can haunt and consume our every waking thoughts. The issues of control. It's often more than I can handle

I know it can feel like they dont understand at all. And they most likely dont, because they can't. It's way too complicated of a thing I think, even for your average person to understand. Sometimes as I try to explain the different feelings, frustrations, etc I am going through, as a result of the upbringing, my hubby just goes blank. I try not to blame him though, some of our "baggage" is hard to comprehend by those who weren't exposed to it.

I hope you things work out for you Prophecor, hang in there ok?

misspeaches

Hi Prophecor

I'm sorry to hear that your finding things difficult and frustrating. I wish I could say something completely profound and appropriate for your situation but I am stumped.

Hope things look up for you soon. You've had some really positive thoughts to share in the past for myself personally and others so you certainly deserve the good things.

Miss Peaches

PaulJ

I used to have the same feelings, but that was when i was married to a JW!!!

Loving on next to Nothing was a tune sung by Gladys Knight & the Pips

I remember hearing a illustration (during a public talk actually.... no come back!) It basically said that relationships are like 2 jugs of water. You can pour into one, and keep giving to that one person, but you will eventually run out if you dont get anything back.

Sounds like you are running dry........

prophecor

Running on Empty. That's true. Goin 2 Bed Thanx e're body.

Black Sheep

Jeez Proph,

I can identify with your situation completely. I love my wife and I don't want out of our relationship, I just want freedom from the crap that I LED HER INTO.

Chris

BluesBrother

I sometimes wish that maybe I could've married in the truth, at least I'd have someone who even remotely understands what it is to be JW, even if she was in and I was out.

Believe me, a determined and blinkered dub wife has no understanding of why you are where you are now, why you are not out in the service and giving talks like you used to do.

An understanding tolerant person with whom one is compatible would be a joy, and has nothing to do with her being,or not having been in the Borg.

Dragonlady76

(((((((((((((Prophecor))))))))))))))

I know it's hard, they just don't get it. I think that no one will ever understand us, unless they have walked in our shoes, and have expirienced so many years of intense indoctrination and control, it's nearly impossible to erase all that programing from your brain. Sorry your hurting.

DL76

mrsjones5

I dont know Prophecor, I feel for you man but I'm so glad I didnt marry a jw and then leave. Yeah he doesnt quite understand my fixation with the jws now that I have been out of it for close to 20 years. But I feel if I had married that jw when I was 19 and had a fews kids with him and then left in a moment of clarity I would be in worst shape. There are so many on this board going through that same scenrio. I do (and others here too) understand your frustration and I hope our words give you some comfort.

Josie ~ feeling so helpless here

Venting Frustration

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