dealing with dubs and the mindset is very challenging, mostly because you have to get yourself under control. The more personal investment you have, say with friends or family, I think the harder it is to remain CALM and collected.
I like the Taoist concepts of water as a metaphor for how one needs to be. Gentle, flowing, seeking the low spots...water goes where all other things direct it. Yet water wears down the greatest stones and mountains, because it is persistent, timeless. The methods that Steven Hassan writes about in his books about cults are a very good example of this.
But...we are human, and we do get excited. Forgive yourself.