Diets, Double-Cheeseburgers and Dragons (Warning: Fluff Alert)

by jeanniebeanz 39 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  jeanniebeanz

  You know, it’s a very bizarre thing that happened today and I thought it best to warn you all. Especially since some of you are fighting the battle of the bulge and dieting as am I.

  You see, it’s been about two months since I went on this diet, and it’s gone along pretty well so far. I’ve managed to eliminate 22 lbs. of ‘junk from my trunk’ and my scale is no longer chasing me about the house or appearing in odd places (http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/89272/1492041/post.ashx#1492041). So, I figure that good progress is being made.

  Sure, there have been a few hunger pains, but you’d be surprised at the creative ways you can cook filling foods without the added calories. Molly McButter has been a godsend as has fat free sharp cheddar!

  However, all is not as it seems.

  It appears that inside each of us dwells an evil twin, some dark and melancholy creature with depraved appetites and a greedy nature which lurks just under the surface waiting…waiting… for a moment of weakness; a fleeting slip of ones resolve. It strikes with a terrifying speed, rending through ones consciousness tearing at the will and screaming for control of the body. No one is impervious to its power, as I was to find out today. For I was attacked by just such a despicable creature on my way home from the store and only escaped with the help of a good friend.

  It happened like something out of a horror novel; I’m driving along minding my own business and grumbling about all the stuff ‘they’ missed when my car was detailed when I came to a stoplight. Upon stopping, I noticed the McDonalds, the same one I drive by every day on my way home.

  Now, this particular McDonalds is nothing new or extraordinary, but I felt a sudden uneasy feeling and realized that there was another ‘person’ speaking to me in the car. Whispering at first, seductive hints and glowing promises of satisfaction which I had not felt in some time. Alarmed, I looked about the car but there was no one there.

  Now, I have not switched my medication in some time, so that could not have been it. Perhaps I was just hungry…hungry? Why, I was suddenly famished. Extreme feelings of being deprived and ‘put upon’ my entire life welled up within me. Had not my own ‘darling husband’ just this day accepted an invitation to attend a George Lynch concert and not bothered to invite me? And my own family, having watched me grow up, abandoning me and following some delusional old men and their queer religion! Poor me! Don’t I deserve happiness too?

  Aren’t the people in the McDonalds advertisements happy? And they are all thin and young too!! How evil could it be to eat there just once? "Yes…yes!" I could hear the voice say. It grew stronger and I felt my resolve slipping.

  My head spun; so many depressing and evil thoughts crowding my mind, pushing rational thought processes aside. I rolled down the windows hoping to clear my mind with a little fresh air. Alas, I forgot! There is no fresh air in the Bay Area...

  Ah, the light turned green and I hit the gas hoping to bolt past the Golden Arches, trying to think of the nutritious foods in the trunk of the car; apples, carrots, a fresh fish steak.

  Then I saw the new banner flapping against the McDonalds; "Double Cheeseburger $1"

  Instantly, it was as if I was floating outside of my own body, an evil Dragon woman was behind the wheel, she double clutched into second, crossed two lanes of traffic and almost bottomed out getting into the drive through lane. Pedestrians leapt from the path of the fearsome woman and her red steel mount, her eyes glowing green and her claws digging holes into the fine leather of the steering wheel and stick shift.

  I was helpless to stop her, I swear! She pulled up to the pickup window and then tore through my purse rending the ATM card from the wallet and tossing it to the cashier with a grunt. The cashier looked at her and said with some trepidation, "Um, ma’am? Can you enter your PIN please?" The creatures eyes softened just a bit as she said to me, "Pardon me, darling. But, can you enter your pin?" In fear for the safety of the cashier, I did as I was told. The cashier handed the Dragon Creature-Woman a heavy bag and she sped off.

  I was so mad! The monster drove to the park. "What are you doing?" I screeched. "What do you think, you silly little starving thing? I cannot eat these things at home. There would be evidence for your husband to find! I must eat them here." I watched as the Dragon woman ate the first cheeseburger. It was disgusting, all that fat! And the pickle scent would be impossible to get rid of out of the car for days!

  Oh, how could it come to this? Why had I not eaten one of the apples on the way home like usual, it was entirely my fault. I was glum. The Dragon woman eyed the second cheeseburger, but she didn’t know that I had been slowly regaining control. With each bite she had taken I had felt my resolve return, and the reasons she had given me for allowing her to take control of my body had become ludicrous.

  Quickly as I could, I snatched the bag with the remaining cheeseburger and flew out of the car with it. Seeing a friend of mine in the park I cried out, "Save me, Sheila." Sheila saw the McDonalds bag and knew instinctively what to do. Tearing the bag from my hands she raced to the nearest trash can and dumped it in. The evil demon food disappeared in a puff of blue flame as we both looked on. "Is it gone?" I asked. "Yes." She said. "You know, I’ve seen this type of thing before. How long have you been on the diet?" "About two months now, I suppose." I said.

  Sheila quickly told me the theories on these Dragons within us, or as some people call them, "Evil Twins." They seem to appear at moments of weakness or despair as kind of a last resort survival mechanism. The best defense is not to allow yourself to get in a position where you are vulnerable to attack. "Next time," she said, "eat the apple."

  So, I figure that none of you are going to believe a word of this and that’s your prerogative. However, for those of you who diet, how much could it hurt to just keep an apple in your front seat, ‘just incase’?

  Now for a mystery; how does a 500-calorie double cheeseburger convert into a full pound of body fat the next day when a pound of human fat takes 3,500 calories to make?

  And they say the Holy Trinity is a mystery…
• 

  greendawn

  Congrats for losing such a substantial amount of weight.
  
  A double cheeseburger does not convert into a pound of body fat that's obviously an absurd idea and it is in fact ideal for dieters given its relatively low calories for the protein it gives. Better avoid cookies, nuts and chocolates.
  
  Even if it is in excess of calorific needs it will add only 2 or 3 ounces of fat to the body.
• 

  Markfromcali

  Are you eating a balanced diet, or just low calorie things that are "good for you"? If it's not a matter of macronutrients there's the micronutrients, to me it's quite ridiculous what people think they can get by with. I've been doing the 6 small meals thing, a fruit doesn't really count as a meal.

  It just so happens that recently I did a cleanse and now I have no cravings for crap, so it's not a matter of abstaining from a desire, it's the absence or change of that desire. I'm shifting the eating pattern, but I will still have some red meat - but it's only been beef jerky so far. (as much as I sweat doing cardio I need to put the sodium back anyway) I think it's important to get to that point, I know I've gotten to the point where my taste changed before but it's possible to lose it if you are just assimilated into the mainstream environment. I do think it's important to see the craving for what it is though, and that can be assuaged - as they said in the $6 million man "we have the technology." You don't have to take pills or anything, knowing enough about balanced eating and practical experimentation with your own body (adjusting proportions) can do it.

  I must say what is very different for me is I don't really care. I don't mean that in the passive sense where you would probably just sit on the couch with a six pack (and I don't mean abs) and potato chips watching TV, but something like the McDonalds episode is not going to cause me stress even if it does happen. I guess to convey a sense of where my mindset is I equally don't care when I am sweating like crazy on the elliptical machine, (which does not mean I am not aware of the state of my body) in that I don't care that there's some burn, I don't care that I may not be eating the most delicious thing I can be. (there again, taste changes anyway) I guess it's a matter of concentration in a sense, a bit single pointed. But of course in terms of physical fitness you have to be aware of a lot of things, the details of diet, how different parts of your body feel in regards to activity and so on.

  After years of being pulled in different directions like anyone else, having my attention scattered so the energy put into being healthy and fit doesn't really take off, I've finally come to the point that I don't care what I look like, I don't care how healthy I am or how long I live, (though I consider that from a functional standpoint) I don't even care how good I feel - (but that's useful as a barometer of where the body is at, again as a practical measure) I'm doing it simply because I can. So these things which people usually care about don't distract me anymore, I'm doing it for it's own sake. For that matter I am not ignoring the body by imposing a regimen purely based on theory, the mind dominating the body - so it's not a matter of repressing any feelings but working with them, realtime.

  People think desire and will power is a source of strength, that's not how I see it. I don't need desire. I just do it. Similar to the JW deal, I've let go of mental limits as far as health and fitness is concerned, and to me desire and will power is a limitation, it's just a form of division within yourself. If you take one side of yourself over another, of course there will be that magnetic pull toward the other side. If you don't, though, then you are in a better position to master the whole thing. That's why I say I don't care, because I don't take sides like this.

  Unfortunately there seems to be no real description for craving to really describe what's going on so its made conscious, but we can get a sense so that our taste changes. I guess in a way crappy food is like watching a bad movie, you can smell that it stinks. There is no need to really taste it. There needs to be a kind of body intelligence to discriminate junk food, because clearly reading about it doesn't really get the job done. And of course that bodily intelligence really needs to bridge both nutriton and physical activity in one complete picture, rather than just believing in some story of fitness that our mind is told about our body, and there goes that division again.
• 

  greendawn

  Mark I wonder what you define as junk food, McDonalds do sell a lot of this but their grilled meat burgers happen to be quite nutritious and it's the only thing I buy on my occasional visits there. Their frying oils are used so many times they become rancid.
• 

  Markfromcali

  Green that's just it, I don't define. The only real test is how it works (or doesn't work) with your body, and I recognize that we need to take into consideration one's environment as far as what is available, your current state and all these factors. I've learned a good deal about nutrition over the years, I don't remember most of it - but all I can say is I have a pretty good sense of what is good and keep it in the back of my mind, so to speak. Even if I could regurgitate the information I read before I don't think it really helps other people if it is simply taken in a simplistic "good or bad" way.

  As I said, I think the most important thing is developing this sense of what different foods does for you, and having that complemented by reading some things about nutrition. It's good to know how to read food labels, and better if you can just look at it and how it's prepared to get a sense of what the nutritional value would be, but when actually eating it most people kind of just go "good or bad", or they allow the judgement based on the observation to distort the actual experience of eating. Frankly this is just way too simplistic, which is why I think it's appropriate to describe it as a kind of intelligence.

  On a practical note, I've noticed one thing about eating smaller meals is you become more sensitive, if nothing else just to your hunger signal. You're never totally empty and you never eat a big meal so it doesn't go to either extreme, and that sensitivity allows you to fine tune your food intake. I have a good sense of what I can have and how long it would take to digest so I can plan when to go workout and such. From there you might start getting a sense of how much protein, carbs and fats you need and so on. Sticking with ideas is like mind control as far as health is concerned, I'm not going to bank on that.
• 

  Frog

  Thanks Jeaniebeanz, you reminded me that I had a big juicy red apple in my bag waiting to be munched:)

  Thankyou for sharing your episode with us, I know it doesn't help you, but I found it highly amusing lol. Cravings are terrible things, and they sure do catch up with you if you can't appease them. I have been in that mental state after you've cleansed where your body doesn't crave all that fatty unnutricious crap, it's very empowering, but it's hard to hold on to.

  Good luck with it JB, you will do well, we've all got confidence in you! Just keep slaying those dragons with apples frog
• 

  Preston

  Jeannie, just remember you're not eating enought if your fridge starts breathing fire and moving around on its own a ' la Requiem for a Dream

  - Preston
• 

  Markfromcali

  I wouldn't say it's something to hold on to, it's more a matter of not holding on to anything. There is a natural balance then, and from a certain perspective it is having compassion for all parts of yourself, in this case on more of a physical level. It's a matter of being all inclusive, there's a reason why we crave those things because we do need a certain amount of fat and meat does have protein too, not to mention the micronutrients, we would just do better to have good quality materials in the right balanced proportions.
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  greendawn

  Mark in my view there is junk food for example many candies, sodas because they are nothing but sugar and colour absolutely zero nutrition apart from the calories. I can't understand why people don't just drink fruit juices, why Fanta and not orange juice? Also any highly processed food is junk and that includes hydrogenated fats found in many different foods.
  
  In my diet I find eating a lot of protein eg meat helps to put off the hunger signal for quite a long time, and the other thing in dieting is to make sure that you don't run up any nutritional deficiencies as you said some people don't know how to eat nutritionally adequate meals. If that doesn't happen the instinct of survival will detect the deficiency and blow the diet to bits.
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  Markfromcali

  By the way, I supplement macronutrients too - protein and fats. (there's just not really a shortage of carbs, even fats is easier to cut out) Sure you can get everything you need in the right amounts in eating the right foods, in theory, but since I don't cook much this is the most practical way to do it. I had some old timer at work today say "you don't need all that stuff if you eat right and exercise moderately" and I'm thinking "yeah if I want to move as slow as you do maybe, Mr. Tortois Nervousa." Besides, the protein and EFA would essentially be part of my food, I'm just having them separately. I'm all for doing it through food, but then it's just a matter of really getting to know the nutritional content of different foods. I mean how much knowledge do you think that would take, vs. making general adjustments with supplements?