Before leaving the org were you considered to be a respected member of the jw community? If you felt that you were, did this make it harder to leave and lose any sense of recognition and importance you enjoyed there?
Respected in the JW community
by greendawn 12 Replies latest jw friends
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Crumpet
I didn't enjoy any respect at all in the JW community - oh I got pats on the back for my excellent talks and long winded answers, but no respect. After I ran away from home at 14 I never recovered my tentative position in the pecking order.
On the up side I got lots of respect from "worldly" people for having the guts to leave and standing on my own two feet at 16.
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RichieRich
Despite my recent reproof, I still hold what I feel is a good amount of respect.
amongst those in my age group, I am considered the mature and responsible one.
While the other kids are answering by reading out the paragraph, I give "heartfelt" (i.e. made up) answers.
I think that this will make my exit a bit more emphatic. Either they will ponder why someone as thoughtful as myself left, or they will just mumble that "satan got a hold of `em."
I have grown up in the circuit I live in, so I know most everyone in it. Eerybody knows who "little Richie" is.
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Balsam
Our Family was considered the good example of a theocratic family over all. My MS husband, and I had been servants for 30 years. Cared for my aging parents in our home, raised three sons to be pioneers as they reached adulthood. Our middle son Dak had been on convention giving talks for the school, and assemblies as a young person who had lofty goals for his life of going to Bethel. As a woman I was respected and many sisters came to me for advice. I had a good relationship with men and women alike. When Dak died as a result of an auto accident, everything about us began to change. Only my children's father seemed unaffected in his relationship with God and the organization.
So leaving and I was the first was hard, all I had been and known for 30 years would collapse at my felt. I know now that the grief I felt and the grief our other two sons felt is what caused us to care. We tossed it all to the wind, because what else did we have to lose but our own lives and at that point death would have been a relief from the pain.
So I left and my sons left with me. The congregation stared in amazement, wondering how we could do that. They all have different thoughts I'm sure to explain it. But none of them have it right because none have ever asked us.
Balsam
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AlanF
I had a middling amount of respect as a Ministerial Servant, I suppose. But I was never a fireball, and certainly didn't "reach out" for more "privileges", so when I went to college and faded over a period of some six years, it was no big deal to anyone. Most people back home didn't even know I was no longer a practicing JW for many more years.
AlanF
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rebel8
Well technically yes because I was one of few pioneers. I was well-known at 2 congregations. However, I was not popular socially. I don't think it held me back at all from leaving. In fact, being "into it" pretty deep helped me to be confident I was doing the right thing by escaping. It's not like I just needed to study harder or something. I can see how it might for others though.
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Confession
Yes, I received a good deal of respect from the congregation. I'd been an MS and elder for six years, and even though I stepped aside because of a separation from my wife, I kept active in field service and in meeting attendance. I answered and commented well, and was asked to give any impromptu talks about eighty percent of the time they were necessary.
Has the above made it harder to leave? Yes. I think of the ones in the congregation I used to study with; how stupefied they must be about my no longer attending meetings. It isn't as though I feel compelled to remain because of them. It's more that I feel a certain responsibility to share with them what I've discovered--and weighing that against the terrible ramifications should I actually try to talk to them about it. And, yes, as someone else wrote, it's a bit hard knowing most of them are thinking the same things I used to think when someone left... "Well, he must have loved the world more than he loved Jehovah." "The pull of the world was just too strong for him." "When you leave the organization, you get to thinkin' squirrely." "You know sometimes intelligent people can start to think they're smarter than Jehovah!" "The world has poisoned his mind."
But the more time that passes, the easier it becomes to cope with these things. It's going to be a tough road ahead, but my ever increasing peace of mind is a great help.
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Netty
My father is an elder, and my family was a well respected and known family. So yup, guilt by association I guess. Yes, It made it harder to leave, but it made it harder to be in too. There was so much pressure to perform, and be the perfect little elders daughter, doing things I despised doing, talks, field service all that gross stuff.
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Quentin
Tell the truth, can't really remember.I was being groomed for an MS position when the floor fell through.Choosing between my wife and the WT was a no brainer. I chose her. Getting untangled from the Witness life was hard, took about six years.
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jschwehm
I had just come back from Bethel when I started to fade. People said that I had been "stumbled" somehow. When I began questioning things etc, I was told that I had the attitude problem and not them and, of course, the questions were all ignored.
Jeff Schwehm