by greendawn 12 Replies latest jw friends
At one time I was the elder's daughter, put on a pedestal for all to see. Then I was DF'd at 19 and things were never the same. By 24 I had a toddler and a divorce under my belt, so I fell even lower. At the end I was a single parent who didn't merit too much attention.
So I guess the answer to the question is . . . no.
Purza
Actually, at the time, I didn't really give a damn whether they respected me or not....still don't and told them so in no uncertain terms when they visited my for their annual "shepherding visit" last year.
Fresh out of the bleached pool 15 years ago, I was leading service groups, picking up impromptu talks, reading for the bookstudy group, and real tight with the CO....well on what I thought was my way to being a good little "Soceity Man" working for Jah. Then, a funny thing happened one day.
Me and the wife were out in service and I happen to come across this one householder who invited us in. He let us get through the presentation, asked us a few questions we could easily answer, then got to a few meaty questions we obviously weren't prepared for. Then he started asking us about the origins of JW. I don't remember the exact questions, per se, but when we were finally able to extricate ourselves from the house and meet back up with the elder who was leading that day, we offered to introduce him to the householder whose questions stumped us so.
But, when we relayed to him some of the questions the householder was asking, he flat out refused to talk to the man. I remember, at the time, we had to seperate from the group and we went back to our car, I dismayed that an elder with so much experience in "da troof" would refuse to convers with someone we thought was obviously interested.
In retrospect, I realize only now that that householder, was leading us right where he wanted us to go...to actually get us to think about what we were becoming a part of and that the elder, upon hearing the questions the man was asking, didn't want to get his ass scorched by someone who'd already had the witnesses number.
An interesting question, as it is the reason why, after I'd been inactive for a decade, that the local elders and the CO met with me a few months ago after I'd seperated from my wife and begun living with another woman.
I'd been a MS for 6 years and then an elder for nearly 15 years. Assembly overseer, pioneer, spoke at all the CAs and DCs for all of that time, even got to teach a couple of pioneer schools.
Yes it has made it harder to leave. My ex-wife never fails to tell me how my leaving her for another woman has "destroyed" whatever good reputation that I had, and how I've lost the respect of all these different people who admired me for so many years.
When the elders approached me a few months ago to invite me to a JC meeting in order to DF me, they said that I was so highly regarded in the several circuits I was involved with in my years as a Witness, that they had to take judicial action against me even though I hadn't claimed to be a Witness for nearly a decade. They told me that when Witnesses in other congregations hear that I've left the Witnesses and left my wife, that many have cried.
It's a hell of a lot of pressure at times, and makes it harder than it has to be.
S4
