a test of friendship

tsunami_rid3r

friends will use friends for their certain goals, but there are some out there who are true friends. now this may seem "stalinish" but i'm just wondering if one of my friends is using me for their one goal.

here is my test: one day out of the blue, call them up and ask them if they want to see a movie or something that involves hanging out with me, nothing to do with hanging out with their bf/gf or other friends. if they stray away from my invitation then i'll ask if they'd like to go to houston,which is an hour drive, to see their bf/gf or other friends. if they say yes to that, then my response to them will be "haha screw that" *click*

if they have an excuse for that also, then until next time.

i'd like your input on that idea.

FMZ

lol mate... you absolutely crack me up. You entertain me beyond words. :)

Just go with the flow buddy. Do you think a real friend would "test" his friends? Naah. You'll find out who your friends are as you go on in life. It adds to the excitement.

Stop thinking so much, and just be. Be here now. You know, it's not just the name of an Oasis album...

FMZ

Sparkplug

tsunami_rid3r-you really are amusing in a cute way....Dont test your friends like that. My best gal friend goes everywhere without me, but if I am hurt, in need, or badmouthed, she will go to the mats for me no questions asked. She is a freaking pit bull over me. The kewl thing about true friends is that you dont have to worry when you see them, for when they do get together with you it is like you never missed a step. Kind of like love.

So what really is the matter....are you feeling a bit lonely and blue tonight?

tsunami_rid3r

FMZ:

going with the flow...i dont understand that really. am i suppose to just sit here and do nothing but follow? say i want a girls number, do i just sit there and wait for her to take the action? like say i want a girl at works phone number, what do i do? i could just ask her over break, but am i going with the flow? wtf does it mean? you have to take action sometime right????

Sparkplug:

well when i'm with this friend it feels different, like at warp tour, this friend totally ditched me for the friends from houston and their bf/gf.

Sparkplug

tsunami_rid3r- well then that does not sound like the definition of a friend. We often see when we get older that one good friend is better than a million 1/2 friends. So maybe try to start some new friendships. It is not easy, and people will come and go. Somewhere therein you will find one. I think FMZ hit it on the head when he said to go with the flow..It makes it all hurt less.

Scully

Well, instead of driving your friend where ever s/he wants to go so s/he can ditch you for bf/gf, try saying "my car isn't working too well (or I'm kind of strapped for gas money at the moment), but let's try and find another ride so we can go together". If they are only using you as a free taxi service, they'll change their mind about the invitation.

FMZ

Tsunami... Going with the flow does not mean complete inaction.

To go with your example that you want a girl's phone number. Don't obsess over it, try not to even think about it. Certainly don't try to plan out ahead of time exactly what you will do and what you will say. Just... lol... go with the flow. When the opportunity presents itself, approach her naturally and ask.

When you try to plan things, calculate the incalculable, and in general manufacture situations, it all ends up so mechanical. If things don't go just according to plan, then it is a disappointment. If you just be who you are, do what you feel is right at the time, then life flows. And certainly, if you get knocked back once in a while, then it will flow like water off a duck's back, rather than feel like you just hit a brick wall.

Be yourself mate. You are a nice guy trying to be someone that you are not. You are trying to fit in, be like everyone else. Just be yourself, go with the flow ;), and enjoy life.

As far as your friends go, there is a very hard lesson to learn here. Friends have other friends. Sometimes they will want to hang out with them, sometimes you. You will never be everyone's best friend. At your age this was the hardest lesson for me, I was a very jealous friend. What helped was when I realized that I had friends that I would hang out with more than others, even though I enjoyed everyone's company.

Again though, on that front, just let things flow. If they want to hang, then hang with them, if not, spend your time alone doing something productive. In short: enjoy.

FMZ

free2beme

If in doubt, toss their ass out!

chrissy

like say i want a girl at works phone number, what do i do? i could just ask her over break, but am i going with the flow? wtf does it mean?

Tsu, you havent called that girl from work yet? Why not? Put a lil excitement into your summer and ask her already! If she says no, well then, no big deal...go with the flow.

Frog

friends always ditch you for their lovers, it's just the way of the world. but you'll be around long after the lover is gone, and that's what friends are all about, sticking with it through the ups and downs. all friendships are different, some friendships you contribute more than you get, other friendships are the other way around, other are more balanced. you'll have plenty of friends throughout your life, so don't worry matey its not the end of the world:) frog

a test of friendship

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