About to get df'd(?) need suggestions.

by Insomniac 40 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Insomniac

  So, here's the skinny:

  I haven't been to a meeting in over two years. I haven't been in service since I can't remember when. I've been dating a worldly man quite openly for 6 1/2 years. I graduated college a year ago. I guess that for all intents and purposes, I'm no longer a witness in any practical way except for the fact that I'm not df'd nor da'd, just thoroughly faded. The elders seem to have forgotten all about me; no phone calls in over a year, not even to invite this lost sheep to the memorial or to console me when my grandparents were found dead in their home not long ago. It's almost as though I never existed to them.

  However, all good things must end. My new business is doing pretty well, and two of the local papers are going to carry stories on it. Included in these stories will be the fact that I carry lottery tix, cigarettes, greeting cards, etc.- all stuff that no good dub would go near. Also, my shop is fast becoming a favorite hangout for the local gay population, as well as the goths and a few neo-pagans in town (as I serve really great coffee, play good music, and generally try to make all my customers feel at home.). This may be mentioned in the article, too.

  An elder and his wife came into my shop about a week ago, and made a complete circuit, noting the titles of several mature magazines, the presence of plenty of tobacco products, and me wishing a customer good luck as I handed him a lotto ticket. They hung around, looking disapproving, until I pointedly asked them if I could help them find anything, whereupon they fled. That recon mission, coupled with the impending profiles in the papers, makes me think my days as a "faded dub" are numbered. I know in my heart that I'll get disfellowshipped finally. Now that I'm on the cusp, I'm no longer scared; I'm feeling exhilarated, actually. I feel like I should have a disfellowshipping par-tay when it finally happens, to celebrate. Any suggestions as to how to mark this passage I'm about to make, from bondage to freedom? What to wear, what to serve, etc?
• 

  daystar

  Any suggestions as to how to mark this passage I'm about to make, from bondage to freedom?

  I suspect your voyage ended some time ago. You are now just expecting acknowledgement from this corrupt organization. I would suggest paying no attention whatsoever what the Society labels you. You decide, and move on with your life.
• 

  Insomniac

  daystar, I agree with you on one level; my faith is between me and the Divine, and has nothing whatsoever to do with the witnesses. But at the same time, I feel maybe how someone would feel if they had their name legally changed to better reflect who they are. I'll finally be able to truthfully say that I'm NOT a witness. At present, I think they still count me as one, and I'm looking forward to losing that designation.
• 

  the_classicist

  If they call you, I would say, "Get F*cked."

  Good luck with the shoppe, btw!
• 

  greendawn

  I suppose you used your long fading period to establish some good relationships with some decent "worldly" people, you should hold a party or go to a restaurant with your friends give a talk about why you left and read the "Crisis of conscience" book of Ray Franz if you haven't already done so.
• 

  ballistic

  Your cause for concern should be what effect it will have on your personal relationships. As for the label you're given by a bunch of self appointed judges, it's neither here nor there. It's like wondering how you are going to celebrate if I now pronounce you "bumble what's it of the year contest, runner up USA"
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  horrible life

  Download "Don't Worry, Be Happy Now" and play it for them if they call.
• 

  daystar

  I'll finally be able to truthfully say that I'm NOT a witness. At present, I think they still count me as one, and I'm looking forward to losing that designation.

  Yet how can you say you are truly free from the organization if you still use their opinions of you as any sort of a measure? If you don't feel like a witness, then you can already truthfully say you are NOT a witness.

  You see, if you allow the org to make the "official" decision whether you are or not, you are still allowing them to have power over you. I say forget about it. Maybe have your own party regardless as to whether they "officially" Df you or not, celebrating your freedom now, by your own choice.
• 

  Insomniac

  I'm just amazed that something that used to scare the piss out of me, now just seems kind of silly and funny. Maybe it's the realization of how far I've come, and not my "official" designation, that is the true cause for celebration. I don't know; I just know that I'm happy, and I've not been happy in a long while, and I feel like celebrating.
• 

  daystar

  Get a jump on them. It's Friday! Go out with friends and celebrate your freedom, on your terms!

  I really do understand where you're coming from. I went through similar almost 15 years ago. Good luck!