by damselfly 43 Replies latest jw friends
Soledad, I also have a crush on Preston. He's hot!
Me, too.
Nobody loves me
Everybody hates me
Think I'm gonna eat some wo-o-or-ms!
Gulp! goes the first one.
Slurp! goes the second one.
Oh, how they wiggle and they squi-i-ir-m!
Short, fat, squishy ones,
Long, skinny, slimy ones,
Ooey-gooey, ooshy-gooshy wo-o-orms!
Yum!
Sometimes when I'm out in public and see someone I know, if they haven't seen me yet I will try and avoid them. WTF! why do I do that?! So I'm hoping that because I know this about myself now and aren't in denial about any longer that it will get better. Does anyone else know what I'm talking about? Any tips to help me on the way? I would like to be able to move my "aquintances" over to the friend category.
I know exactly what you mean; I was like that for years. What is the source of the fear of rejection? Do you believe there is something embarassing about you that would cause others to reject you if they found out (your jw background for example)?
The only tip I have is what worked for me....everyone has skeletons in their closets....everyone has their flaws and things they're shy about....everyone has things they never tell their friends...lots of positive self-talk telling myself I'm not less than anyone else...lots of being forward and friendly and telling myself rejection does not mean I'm flawed...lots of pretending to have self confidence in social situations until I finally gained that confidence (as they say in AA I think--"Fake it till you make it")
bellydancing
Great idea! I love it. I bought the tapes though (which is not a good idea if you're trying to socialize, LOL). I learned to dance in the '80s and all I can say is....be prepared to move your body in ways very unlike MC Hammer! LOL! Bellydancing is also good for the <ahem> big O.
t_c
As for having no social skills, count me in. My problem is that I can't speak up. I could literally stay quiet for weeks and not say a word to anyone (of course, I can talk normally, but I usually don't for fear of rejection; not exactly healthy).
You'll get there ,,, join a club at uni this fall, make some social plans with a study group, don't worry about the 'cool' clique ,,, you will find your niche.
xo
tal
Damsel,
I was one of those socially inept former lifers too but working with a large number of young "worldy" students at my old bank helped me to start making casual friends. Even after all these years, I still tend to let people slip out of my life but I've retained a couple of true "worldy friends I've made in recent years and work hard not to let this habit continue.
Self interest classes are a great way to meet folks and I made some great friends in cooking classes (unfortunately all guys!) that I kept in touch with for years. Friendship does mean being willing to "take one on the chin" from people until they prove themselves and we were programmed that everybody else in the world are shit---not true as you probably now know.
So dance away and try some other ones too--and keep us "posted"
W.
