ROFLMFAO @ MARY.......you have TOO much time on your hands girl.....but I likes what you write....hee hee hee......
Bring Out *Points* From The District Convention That You Didn't Attend
by minimus 14 Replies latest jw friends
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jeanniebeanz
You may stand for the announcements:
Free Will is no longer one of Jehovahs Witnesses
Thank you. You may now be seated.
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kwintestal
"Expences for this weekend's convention total $28,486.95. To date, we have recieved in total $3,156.33 which leaves us in a deficit position. We would like to ensure that you our dear brothers and sisters realise that if we don't make up this money in donations by convention end, next year we will be forced to hold the convention at a site 1,000 km away."
Kwin
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Blueblades
Sundays announcements: As you all know yesterday, one new person was stupid enough to get baptized as we were draining the pool and almost drowned. The brothers have decided to cancell all futre baptism at our conventions.
The new procedure will be as follows: Two Elders will witness the new convert lying at the bottom of each ones own tub, yes " IN HOUSE BAPTISM" is now the new arrangement.The Governing Body is no longer responsible for any drownings that occur in the near future as we await the true baptism to come at armaggedon.
Thank you for your cooperstion and understanding on this new arrangement that the G.B. has been directed to do by Holy Spirit, this is new light.
For those who can't go under in the tub snorkels will be provided by your local Elders.
Blueblades
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minimus
Blue, that was good! I could see the GB covering their a$$e$ and having private home baptisms because of being afraid of drownings.