Buck,
Please RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Love should never be conditional on anything.....
first a publisher, now GF wants me baptized by Sept...
by Buck 61 Replies latest jw friends
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GetBusyLiving
I'm just gonna say one more thing to you Buck. The Witnesses are a hurtful, nasty cult. Whatever you do is your decision obviously, just don't forget the people you've read about on this board and how their lives have been affected by the dubs.
Dropping the JW's is the right thing to do. How and if you do it is up to you.
GBL
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damselfly
It comes down to this: If I knew I could find someone this pure in my life again, it would probably be easy to walk away. But I dont know if it will ever happen again. Sometimes you only get one shot at the gold and if you miss, you will have to settle.
This maybe my gold?
Buck ~ I hope this doesn't come across as too harsh, but she has proved herself to have unpure reasons for wanting you to get baptized. It's not for your spirtual well fare, it's so she can get married to you and not be shunned by her family. This is not a good basis to any relationship, let alone a marriage.
I was married young and I thought that he was my "gold". I was so, so wrong. He turned out to be the complete opposite of what I thought he was, not all at once but gradually over time. I am now out ( Thank God! ) of that relationship, and have truly found my soulmate.
You will be settling for less then you deserve if you follow thru on this plan without serious thought on your part. Don't let your emotions lead you around, research and use your brain logically to come to your conculsions.
Damselfly
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outnfree
Buck,
Reading your posts has made me very sad for you. Getting baptized into the JW religion because you are confused about religion won't make you less confused. Getting baptized into the JW religion because your girlfriend wants you to, rather than because YOU are convinced deep down that it is the right thing for you, personally, will not be a happy beginning to life within the [B]organization. Getting baptized into any faith requires careful consideration, a GOOD feeling about one's decision, and a happy relationship with whatever version of God/dess resounds within one.
You appear to think that there is only one right human being for you to love, as well. That you will never again find a person as "pure" as your JW girlfriend. This is just not true. One can have more than one happy relationship in life. YOU can certainly find a partner who will not coerce you into taking steps you still feel unprepared to take--especially the step of baptism as a Jehovah's Witness which carries the very serious consequences already outlined above. A lover who demands that a person subjugate his/her personal beliefs in order to fit into that lover's ideal is NOT a loving person. KNOW this and save yourself untold heartache for years to come.
Sincerely,
outnfree
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William Penwell
But I dont want to turn around and have no relationship and no religion
I recommend for you to go to a book store and buy a book about co-dependency. You need to build your self esteem up and know that you don't need anyone else's approval to be a better person. It took me 40 years to learn this lesson and I am now a much happier person. The Jdub mentality will never let you explore and nurture that independent side of you. Don't think in terms that this is your last chance as you are still very young and there are many more "soul mates" out there for you, one's that will accept you for who you are and not try to change you.
Will
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Elsewhere
This maybe my gold?
If she is unwilling to respect your religious views that are different from hers, then all you have found is fools gold that will only bring you pain and heartache. She will spend the rest of your life trying to convert you instead of just accepting you. She will cry and carry on about how you "need" to change. This crying and moaning will NEVER stop. In time she will either break you or drive you to being bitter.
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orion
If she is manipulating you like this now just imagine how its going to be if down the line you have kids and she is pushing them to get baptized at age 8 and they do, then a few years later they say, opps, this isn't for me and they get df'd then your not allowed to speak with your own kids. It sucks.. really.....and about the answering the questions wrong....they basicly talk you through it, so it doesn't really mater if you answer wrong or not.( of course not all elders are like that, but mine were) Good luck
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hillbilly
Buck... I would have to think (based on 20+ years exposure to the JW cult) that your chica is not an "A-list" JW girl. If she had any prospects she would not be wasting time on you.
IF you get deeper and really buy into the cult... well, she is bound to bring you down. She will likely sow some wild oats or just not make a very good wife/partner. Her actions will in turn, bring the full attention of your BOE on your home sooner or later. YOU sir, will be caught in the fall-out and have a whole bagfull of things you wouldnt have to deal with living in a normal religious life (or non-religious one for that matter).
She may be a A-list Dub.... so what happens to Buck after he buys in deep and she dumps you for an old line JW servant or elder? Let's see..you get hurt then you deal with the shit storm that happens when feelings are hurt in a JW congregation/circuit.
Run man, Run. If you cant reason her "out" of the cult dont get yourself in any deeper. There are many more worthy ways to experience pain than doing the JW thing.
~Hill
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amen
I think you've been blackmailed.
Love for religion........humm!
amen
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TheSilence
Sometimes you only get one shot at the gold and if you miss, you will have to settle.
...for a woman who loves you despite your relationship or lack thereof with a high control religion.
...for a woman who puts you first in her life, not behind the elders, field service, meetings, and conventions.
...for a woman who understands that your family is important to you and goes with you on your family vacation rather than depriving you of it.
...for a woman who is not sexually hindered by the beliefs and teachings of a group of old men.
...for a woman who is not only confident enough to stand up for her own opinion, but confident enough in hers to let you have yours as well.
...for a woman who believes you should not be forced or coerced into a lifetime commitment that you aren't quite ready to make.
...for a woman who will teach your children to be open minded and loving towards everyone, not just those who subscribe to her religion.
...for a woman who will not berate you for your choice of friends simply because of their religious beliefs.
...for a woman who won't discourage you from having close ties to your family because they are 'bad association'.
...for a woman who is a million things more...
This maybe my gold?
or maybe this is the woman you're settling for because you haven't yet found your gold.
Jackie