Any commonality with dubs who join as adults? (page 2)

FlyingHighNow

...because all I was sure of was that I didn't have the answers.

It's a good thing you understand this. I was looking for answers, too. From childhood I wanted to know the answers about life.

Now I am content to know I don't have to know all the answers to lead a full, meaningful and productive life. I sincerely feel that when anyone goes looking for the exact truth that he/she might as well place a Sucker sticker in the middle of his/her forehead. The exact truth probably isn't ours to know in this life.

stopthepain

This is a very interesting thread.

My parents were raised in bad circumstances.My father had no real direction ,plus physical and emotional abuse.My mom had been sexually abused by a close family member.Itwas as if all the perfect bad circumstances alligned at once for them to become witlessess.

They were seeking answers,and we all know the jdubs have plenty of those.Witnesses THRIVE on people with low self estteem ,guilt,and people who have been shown no REAL love.

I cannott think of a single witness who was raised in a REAL loving family,or who didn't have or still have severe mental dysfunction.On the surface,the org looks like a loving family,underneath,it's a bad parent who mentally abuses it's "children".

hillbilly

Take this as painted with a really broad brush ...of adults I saw converted while I was in there are 2 basic profiles:

* People who for whatever reason are very out-of step with general society. Folks with abuse, drug history, or other problems... Looking for something to hang onto. Most that I knew didnt make very good JW's and were kept at arm's lenght by A-listers. Many drifted out or fell into some sort of mis behaviour after a while.

** I noted very few fuctional people coverting after 1975. The few I knew wised up and dropped out pretty soon.

I did know a lot of coverts from the 60's era... I always sensed that they were looking to be part of the counter-culture, but not radical enough to be stero-typical hippies. The US during Vietnam was a place ripe for people looking for new ideas... and God knows the WTBTS was pedalling some pretty radical alternatives, especially from '66 to '74. A lot of that group came in early in life, often with big groups of extended family, and invested so much they had to stay in.

Those 60's kids are the ones waiting to die today, after being told that in '69 that the system was over soon. Their kids are the ones who walk-away today.

~Hill

M.J.

My wife had a very controlling father. Ironically she rebelled against him to go into the clutches of a very controlling religion.

She also had abuse issues growing up.

She was approached by the JWs at a time of transition in her life.

She has admitted that there were many doubts she had to work through as she's generally pretty sensible,

but I think all these issues made her the ideal candidate for membership. She joined but was "spiritually weak" and became inactive.

When she was about to have our first child, all the implanted fears she had acquired influenced her motherly instict so that she finally became fully committed to the religion.

zen nudist

for some of us, like myself, we are outsiders in other ways, sort of like trekkers..... social or physical freaks who desire another world more technically or intellectually advanced then this one.... that is what attracted me as I was an avid sci fi fan--- still am.... and the idea that it could be real was very enticing.

kls

Ok K, I am not sure those aren't contradictory ideas. To want to have the world tied up in a neat bow for you does not seem to me like a person who has a very well defined sense of self. Or maybe they were never allowed. What were his folks like?
I just think they all must be seeking shelter from something.
CYP

Contradictory? no i don't think it is but this is how jws like their life ,in a neat package with all the answers. What thinking do they need to do really ,,look in the wt for answers Problems ?,, look in the wt. Health problems,, look in the wt. Feeling depressed ?,, look in the wt.

Everything a jw needs or should feel in written in the pages of the wt or awake

All aspects of life is found in the wt ,isn't it?

His Parents,

Compared to my parents i think they are fine as parents but they never let him get a backbone.

kazar

I agree with you CYP. Speaking for myself, I came from a dysfunctional and broken home. Married at 15, two children by 17 years of age. It was at 17 that I converted. I was more mature than most 17 year olds but I was naive. I had also abandoned Catholicism years before and was looking for a sure thing. I thought I found it with Jehovah's Witnesses. The other Witnesses I was friends with converted as adults and had similar backgrounds.

DanTheMan

What sort of experiences do people have that make them more likely to join as an adult

I've always been somewhat of an odd sort I guess, perhaps I have some mild form of autism that makes me a bit of a social retard, or maybe it was my weird Catholic parents that never sought to teach me a damn thing about the real world, instead they tried (and succeeded) in keeping me very sheltered. I got teased a lot growing up, and by age 22 I was a paranoid, directionless, and often suicidal mess. Not ready for college or the real world by any stretch of the imagination. The JW religion gave me structure and instant friends, and a feeling of purpose. It also made me feel justified for the general hatred that I had toward the world and life in general at the time. Religion, politics, and business are all evil and of Satan? God's gonna kill 'em all? F*CK YEAH SIGN ME UP!!!! lol

I guess I'm glad they were there. Cults function as a sort of unofficial asylum for the fearful and socially incompetent.

jgnat

I'll give some examples from those I have met.

Subject A came from a politically disruptive eastern european country. Both catholic church and big government is deeply mistrusted. The JW ideology takes a big pot-shot at both.
Subject B is a "joiner". As a Communist Youth he almost turned in his escaping family. As a teenager, he was abducted by a con-artist. His momma rescued him in the nick of time. Then he became a JW. End of story.
Subject C never did too good in school. A rote learner, for the first time he is getting all the answers right. Relationships are a dilemma. At the Kingdom hall people have to be nice to him. Now the KH has told him he will never get to see his momma again unless he keeps up in service. So he slaves on.
Subject D has a mental disorder. The routines keep him occupied and stable. The Kingdom hall tolerates his oddities as he trims his hair and keeps his tie on straight.
Subject E is not baptized yet, but the darling of the hall. He has edumacation, and lots of it. He is a former stockbrocker who had a mental breakdown. Now he putters around the house living off his savings and simplifying his lifestyle. He thinks he's cured. I wonder.

Yes, I do see a common theme of security here.

Check_Your_Premises

Yeah I got one couple I can't get a mark on. They are totally loaded and absolutely fabulous... smart, beautiful, funny.

I found out after awhile that the wife actually had a trashy, chaotic childhood, and I think she was the victim of a sex crime. Him... I just can't figure it out in his case. It is actually a little mystery I have been trying to solve for awhile, but it is difficult to get info out without arousing suspicioun at times.

As a non-dub I feel at times like Jane Goodall observing chimpanzees, I have even had exceremnt thrown at me!!! I have found the best times for me are at those social functions away from the hall. I can be very disarming, and I think in general dubs have no concept of personal space. They tell me things about eachother that I would never tell anyone!!!

I keep finding that despite outward appearances that most have very crazy stories to tell!

CYP

Any commonality with dubs who join as adults?

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