Any commonality with dubs who join as adults?

by Check_Your_Premises 25 Replies latest jw friends

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  luna2

  Guys, this is getting just a tad insulting. Sure some of us who became dubs as adults may have had a history of mental difficulty or a background of abuse, but not all of us. Perhaps we were naive or were in a difficult time in our lives when recruited, but who doesn't have some personality flaws or difficult times? I beat myself up enough over the choices I've made in my life. Guess I don't care to have my faced rubbed in it here.

  I suppose all those who were super duper enough to avoid getting sucked in to something like Jehovah's Witnesses can congratulate themselves that they are a smarter, better brand of human being.

  Hrm...think it's time for me to go do something else for a while. Ciao
• 

  stopthepain

  luna2,I'm sorry if you feel insulted.

  I don't think you should feel stupid for joining.You joined with false premises,you were lied to ,and you were manipulated.You are probly guilty of trusting people that acted{and maybe to a degree }did give a crap.

  I am not so angry at my parents for joining,my anger comes from,after seeing what this religions wants from you and your kids,you don't change.Obviously your out now.You should feel happy of that.

  If a mechanic told you he could fix your junkbox car,and showed you pictures of other cars he fixed,why wouldn't you believe him.If you then paid him,and you got screwed,and he didn't do the work,who's fault is it?you or the lying peice of shit mechanic.Now if you kept returning to get screwed,that would be something to beat yourself up over.I know thats probly a bad example,just don't feel too bad.

  They are master manipulators,using powerful human emtions against you.I think we all know people mean well when they join.You saw thru it and your out now.Good for you,you can be proud of that.

  Anyway,I guess what I'm trying to say is,you were lied to,so I know your not stupid.

  all the best ,STP
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  Sad emo

  I just read through the replies and DantheMan - I could almost have written what you did word for word. Only difference with my outcome is that a couple of ex-JW's rescued me before I 'signed up'.

  Luna, I don't think anyones smarter or better than anyone else. Whatever happens in our lives, good or bad, its what we learn from it and how we use it that counts. Just like those ex-JWs who rescued me, by sharing your experiences on JWD and elsewhere, you are helping others to make sense of whats happening/happened to them - that makes you pretty smart in my books.
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  luna2

  stopthepain and Sad emo...you guys are very kind. I probably over-reacted. Things at work have been difficult lately. I've been under a lot of pressure and have the strong feeling that I'm being made the scapegoat for a number of things that are outside of my control. (its a family business, so this is painful on several levels. Many, many regrets lately for agreeing to come work with my parents). I wasn't in the best of moods last night.

  Possibly it was because I was feeling kind of blue that some of the posts here looked to me as though we were catagorizing those who didn't have mental problems or abuse in their background as especially foolish and lacking in brains because they joined up with JW's as adults (as opposed to having no choice because they were raised in it). *sigh*

  In future I'll try to back off when I'm in a mood.
• 

  DanTheMan

  Only difference with my outcome is that a couple of ex-JW's rescued me before I 'signed up'.

  Lucky you. However, I don't know if I would've listened to anybody back when I joined. There was no dissuading me! My mom can vouch for that, she screamed and yelled and cried, to no avail, I just dug in deeper...lol
• 

  Check_Your_Premises

  Guys, this is getting just a tad insulting. Sure some of us who became dubs as adults may have had a history of mental difficulty or a background of abuse, but not all of us. Perhaps we were naive or were in a difficult time in our lives when recruited, but who doesn't have some personality flaws or difficult times? I beat myself up enough over the choices I've made in my life. Guess I don't care to have my faced rubbed in it here.

  I suppose all those who were super duper enough to avoid getting sucked in to something like Jehovah's Witnesses can congratulate themselves that they are a smarter, better brand of human being.

  Dan,

  I am sorry if this question in any way seemed insulting to ex-jw who joined as adults. That certainly wasn't my intention. If anything, I deserve just as much derision (were it justified in being given out) as anyone who joined. My family got sucked into it under my watch. The only thing that probably kept me out were my experiences with indoctrination, my own experiences of having a worldview completely shattered, and my own experiences with thinking I have truth and having it proven wrong.

  I think some things are objectively stupid. Joining the JW is one of those things. I just figured that was something we all agreed on. That is not to say you or any other jw are stupid.

  If we had a website just dedicated to dumb things in general, I would be the poster-boy.

  I just wanted to do some analysis so we could benefit from your mistakes.

  CYP