Reasons to make you leave a spouse/partner (page 3)

95stormfront

What about in the case where it is the wife who refuses and\or constantly makes excuses about her lack of contributing financially, yet alway finds the time for meeting attendance, a new study or helping the "friends" out on your dime?
Does she cook and clean and take care of the kids?

sorry, I was being facetious when I asked that question.

Yes, she cooks, cleans. The kids are a few year ago high school graduates and have since moved out of the house. There's always a hot plate, a cold drink, and a spotless house to come home to daily.

Just thought I'd lodge my little "bitch" about the money.

AllAlongTheWatchtower

Wow...the Google ads that came up with this post...unfaithful spouse spy on spouse reasons to live and wife cheating. Sheesh! lol.

At this point in time, I would have to say cheating is the only thing that would make me want to leave my wife, to me thats just an unforgiveable. Then again, I can't see the future, and have no idea how things may go as far as her going down the JW path and me being an atheist... Not something I really want to think about, as it is part of what I fear about her becoming so immersed in this thing so thouroughly and so quickly. Even with that, I would be more worried about her leaving me than me giving up on her.

95stormfront: I have absolutely forbidden my wife to give any money to the WTS that comes from my pocket, but told her if she gets a job she is free to do what she wants with her own money as long as she helps out with the bills. I DO find it to be an annoyance that she fills out job applications with schedules that no employer is likely to agree to in order to allow time for studies, meetings, etc.

Buster

Interesting topic with a variety of responses.

Let me head off some objections to my answer by saying that I know relationships go through ups and downs. I am talking about longer-term.

But I think a relationship needs to be mutually fulfilling. It needs to feel equitable to both. Otherwise one side or the other feels resentment, and it only builds. There are lots and lots af reasons to end a realtionship. If you're not getting anything out of it, if you feel unfairly treated, if you'ld rather 'do something else with your life,' then I see no reason to be a martyr.

95stormfront

I have absolutely forbidden my wife to give any money to the WTS that comes from my pocket, but told her if she gets a job she is free to do what she wants with her own money as long as she helps out with the bills. I DO find it to be an annoyance that she fills out job applications with schedules that no employer is likely to agree to in order to allow time for studies, meetings, etc.

I haven't gotten to that point yet. Actually , I can't remember the last time I saw my wife actually donate anything to the WTS; especially money that came from my pocket. I make plenty, but I'm careful about how much I give her because I'll not be working to support those old geezers in Brooklyn. If she's having problems about her lack of contributions to the soceity, she'd better check her conscious and get a job and fund that little project out of what she'd have left over from her share of the bills.

Don't misunderstand, I love her and am more than willing to take care of her if she's not working, but if she is, I see no reason why I shouldn't have the option of diverting a little more money else where and share with her the responsibility of supporting the house rather than have her think she'll live off my dime while all her money goes to support the world wide work.

But, since she goes about finding work a lot like your wife, I don't think she'll be working anytime soon if ever. You think it's anoying the way your wife fills out applications with schedules an employer will find impossible to meet, try mine who actually used to put on her resume as educational information the "theocratic ministry school". I'm still bewildered that she remained adamate that it stay there when I rightfully pointed out to her that any self respecting employer will not know or even care about that bit of info on a resume.

Seems that they're trained that even in job hunting, it's perfectly acceptable try to slip in the obligatory info-mercial about jehovah.

prophecor

Infidelity, first and formost. A cardinal sin as far as I'm concerned. It would take a lot to just chuck a relationship for me, as I'm aware, now, that they go differing phases and stages. I'm going thru mid-life crises just in time for my wife to go thru menopause ( all men must pause ) and the relationship suddenly takes on a very different life. I try to be cognizant of that fact as I wrestle with the draining of emotional energy that comes from not being as intimate as we once were.

It becomes a catch 22 as we get older and more settled. We realise that sexual relations have always been fulfilling. Sexual energy, however, begins to diminish, the energy belonging to the younger set. Though I still long for those relations, over time they become less important, so it's six in one hand, half a dozen in the other. I recognise however, the need to get more intimate in other areas of our existence. Demonstrating care and concern in other ways. It's mostly a matter of paying more attention to the needs of my wife, her emotional needs.

Though more sex, would still be nice.

riotgirlpeeps

For me I got my divorce because of several things:

Not working/ or working bare minimum hours required at employment (he had child support to pay for his kids which thankfully I never paid)
When home more than I, not taking up slack on housework
Inability to accept any manner of responsibility for marital or other issues
Abuse especially mentally/emotionally
Alcoholism

The reason I stayed as long as I did was the misguided sense of duty. When telling my devout JW parents of the divorce they always emphasized I needed to make sure I was making the right decision. Post divorce my mom has stated they would have helped me get out of it sooner had I let them know it was so bad, after urging me to stay in it previously. Thanks Mom, I'd appreciate the honesty before not after the fact.

Best choice I ever made, and I can say I learned what I needed from a relationship from the bad one. He cheated too, but it was after he knew I was going to divorce him, though he lied about it at the time. I'm very pleased I was protected while married to him by his own laziness in a way, all the information I've had about him since then is that he has cheated on and slept with any number of girls, and he's dumb enough to brag about it.

katiekitten

I find it hard to say what I would do, because I have done so many things I never thought I would.

I think realistically, it would take an awful lot for me to leave. Im a soft touch, and im not always as strong as i'd like to think I am.

However, ONE thing I know for definate would make me leave is if there was ANY kind of hurtfulness happening to my daughter. When I had her I discovered this savage rottweiller inside me that was born to protect her. Its very odd, im not like that at all for myself.

Sparkplug

I would say dishonesty 'bout sums it up. That is top of the catagory and under it can fall infidelity, I also can not stand abuse physical or mental. I dont have the energy for drama. There is a certian amount you cannot avoid in life...but cant deal with a drama maker.

Reasons to make you leave a spouse/partner

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