Unless your willing to convert to his religion, forget it. If you were to get serious, he will expect you to marry him under the condition you will have to become a JW. If this is not for you then run like hell....
Will
Attracted to a Jehovah Witness
by AJNG99 49 Replies latest jw friends
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Frog
Hi AJN, sounds as though you have a very good understanding of the situation already in your own mind. It's of course very commendable that you're not naturally a judgmental person, but if a particular organisation/person gets enough bad press for long enough, you've got to start asking yourself if there's something in it. Don't need to put your hand in the fire to tell it's hot is all I'm saying:) For starters it's very unlikely that this person, no matter how attracted to you they are, will reciprocate your feelings/expression of interest. You have to realise here that you're dealing with a very sad mind bending manipulative cult. I spose by now you're starting to think that you've come to the wrong place for answers, because some of us can come across a litte jaded after our terrible lifes experiences with the JW's. Really though, the mindsets of JW's all over the world are almost identical, and we here can fully relate to what's it's like to this as a JW, and how it is to think as a stable free-thinking balanced individual, after having spent considerable time deprogramming from the JW organisation.
If you're a smart cookey, and it seems you are:)...I can only suggest avoiding yourself the pain that this situation will absolutely incur you if you push for something from this friendship. Truth is JW's aren't generally permitted to have even close friendships outside of the JW organisation. All non-jw's are viewed as "worldly", which in jw-speak implies very derogatory and negative things. If this guy does reciprocate you will be dragged through the mud while he deals with his JW conscience. JW's refer to other JW's who seek a partner outside of their organisation as being "unevenly yoked", which basically means you are not on the same level and will naturally fight against eachother. These people are incredibly closed minded, and live their lives in fear of displeasing their god Jehovah, and breaking the very strict codes of conduct. You will realise within time that you have far less in common with this person than you had hoped.
I'm sure that if you're patient you will meet a more amiable man with qualities which compliment your own. All the best, Frog x
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Es
Hello and welcome to the board enjoy your time here, i think i side with everybody else "Run for the hills" if you can help dont get involved with this person as you wont be a Roman Catholic for long before you know it you will be a JW. Stay friends if you can but dont get into a relationship es
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greendawn
I would also say keep at a safe distance from the jws because they are a fanatical cult, they don't tolerate any amount of dissension within their ranks and many jws got thrown out for disagreeing and their families got ruined. They have several very strange and grandiose ideas about themselves as God's only chosen people on earth today, for them the rest of the world is satanic.
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Pensive
You sound like me! I was once in your very situation and I took the wrong road. I married the man. I made a very messy bed and I am so lying in it. If only I could turn back the clock! Girl, please retain your sanity, and save time on regret. It is not worth it.
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LouBelle
A-99 unless you are willing to change your religion & your beliefs you will not be able to be with this guy - unless he leaves the JWs'. If he is a strong JW he will not yoke himself with an unbeliever and you may dear are an unbeliever. (I'm being extremely blunt today)
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feelinglost
I was a JW. But I was never very strong in the religion. I often dated outside of the religion, but always broke it off because I knew it would never work (they would never become a JW, and I thought I would never leave). But then I met my husband. And I tried to warn him to run away. But I guess it was just meant to be. I couldn't push him away as I had done with other "worldly" guys.
But a witness who is stronger in the religion than I was would not even think about dating a "worldly" person. But someone less strong in the religion might think about it. And then even do it. But like others said, if he was to start dating you, you would probably not meet his family for a long time (my husband didn't meet my parents for three months- was afraid to tell my JW mom- would have introduced him to dad, but didn't want dad to have to lie to mom). And once he did meet my mom, mom tried to pull him in. But I ended up doing wrong things, was disfellowshipped, and now my mother and I barely talk (not by my choice). It has been a long and heartbreaking road. And it's confusing and upsetting to my husband (although what guy wouldn't be happy about not really ever having to deal with their mother-in-law). My mom didn't even come to our wedding.
So as others said, it will save you a lot of confusion, possible heartbreak, and frustration to just never take another glance at this man. He may be a nice guy, but unfortunately, you don't know if that is just nice from being raised that way, or for some other reason. And once you get involved with the JW's or someone who is a JW, your life is never the same.
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sammielee24
Okay...I just have to come out of lurk to share this one!
I'm currently with a lifer - he was df'd over a year ago - his entire family including mom, siblings, ex wife, kids - everyone he knew was a JW and it goes without saying that he is dead to all of them- he was an Elder for a long time so his punishment is a hundredfold.
Anyway, when he was called up before the judicial committee, one of the comments made by an Elder to him was that 'of course worldy women want Witness men, they're an excellent 'catch'..okay catch was my word but you get the idea. ......now .......I don't know what mirror this man is looking in but to my way of thinking they don't have women lined up to take a number for these guys.....
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I quit!
He may be a great guy but he is a brainwashed great guy. If you do start seeing him at some point you will be asked to go to the Kingdom Hall. Everyone there will seem wonderful. Everyone will treat you wonderfully as you are becoming indoctrinated (I know this sounds harsh and Orwellian but it is what it is). This is the love bombing phase. As the other posts have stated all the love and friendship you receive is contigent up your acceptance of everything the Watchertower teaches. Step out of line and it will all disapear literally overnight. It happened to me and it happened to many of the people posting here. If you do decide to start seeing him make yourself an "I TOLD YOU SO " file. Print posts you are reading here and file them in it for future reference.
I don't mean to sound harsh. I do have your best interests at heart.
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Buck
Well, Iam going through a situation where Iam the worldly and my girl is in the religion.
Since I cant comment on your love or your relationship I will only tell you what I would have done differently.
Have a frank, open conversation about all the things required of you to progress with your relationship (discuss marriage even if your not ready for it). There are many rules such as having a chaporone to go see a movie or go to the store. Some of these rules were not TOTALLY laid out before me when I started my relationship. Get very clear answers on how this will involve you and your unbelieving family. Please tread lightly and get all the answers you can before you proceed. Never skip a question because you think its no a big deal. JW have a way of making everything a big deal.
My heart goes out to you and I hope you find the happiness you are looking for.....