Your grandmother is not punishing you for YOUR failure, she's punishing you for HER failure. She's a sick individual.
Your anxiety about Armageddon is a normal part of leaving a high control Apocalyptic group. We often get a post exit syndrome with symptoms like Apocalyptic anxiety, guilt, PTSD, and depression. Some of us have benefited from getting exit counseling from a therapist qualified in post exit (incarceration) syndrome.
Many of us who were raised by Witness parents were institutionalized and we had difficulties related to that institutionalizing when we tried to leave the group. It's good to kinda be ready for that. Randy Watters wrote some good articles on cognitive dissonance on www.freeminds.org I'd suggest checking that all out.
My early mistakes all had to do with confrontations. I'd advise all exiting Witnesses to never confront any believing Witnesses. Once those confrontations happen and those relationships are fractured they may never be repaired. Build walls but don't needlessly confront. I don't allow believing Witnesses access to my family. I'd never allow a Witness access to children . . . never, never, never! I made that mistake once. Never again!
