I know a CO and his wife; I sweare they did it on the stage when no one was around. She was good-looking and rather young for a CO's wife. Payne was his name.
I remember Bro Payne.
Number 3. Do a survey of whatever stress related chronic illnesses are in vogue in local congregations and convince his wife she's got it. ( don't laugh, this is very possible!)
Possible?! I thought this was a requirement. For one CO's wife we had to not wear deorderant, perfume, scented hairspray, or wash our clothes in fabric softener. She could even tell if you washed your underwear in downey. Circuit assemblies must have been a real bitch for her.
I always thought she was in the wrong line of work.
The COs around here have their own apartment attached to a KH. Been that way for 30 years.
I would never mess with any one's medication. No point in punishing the wife because her husband is a jerk.
But
I have sat in the middle of the second row and watched him carefully during his talks.
I have gone to the restroom in the middle of his talks and flushed the toilet that made a loud obnoxious sound (brothers wouldn't fix it, I bet it is still making that sound).
Well I had a CO that was a jerk and was out to terminate me even though I was inactive. I just didnt tell him squat and then started relating about my thesis for university on bio-genetics. He kinda looked at me and said "bio-genetics?" and then took off mad with that smirk they love to have. Came again pressuring me with questions and twisting scriptures, I wouldnt let them in the house and didnt make them welcome. I wouldn't tell them squat again becuase frankly it was none of their damn business. Last time he ever came, and again he left madder then a wet hen with that smirk on his face.
I say take him and his wife to a very fancy coffee shop 10 miles from the hall [and his car] while in service, give him $30 and have him go in to get the coffee for the group. Once they go inside, 'receive' an emergency call on the cell, drive away to the hospital and never go back. Ask him at the next meeting if he counted all the time walking back to the hall.
God, I don't remember her at all. They started serving our congregation about a year after I stepped down. I was working with him in field service and sort of expected him to ask how I was doing, as it had been a trying year in many ways. At the end of the morning, I realized he didn't know a thing about my background, and I understood that the local elders had simply never mentioned a thing about me to him.
That's when I asked the elders to visit and talk with me. Now, these were men that I had trained and served with for a long time. I asked for a visit in December, then again in January and finally again in February. I was going through a very troubling time, and could have used someone to talk with. But none of them came. That was when I decided I'd deal with it totally on my own, and I completely gave up any thought of ever serving again. Wouldn't you know it, in March two brothers visited me. I made it clear that I felt they'd failed me when I needed them most.
That's mainly how I remember Wade Payne, during those circumstances. He was one of the more miserably unqualified COs. Wish I remembered his wife better!
During the arrangements for field service, just say no. If you are a young brother and he asks if you are considering Bethel service, say, "Nooooooooo!" really sarcastic, like it's the worst idea in the history of the world.
Use the phrase "That's too much religion for me" when referring to additional privileges.
Give a killer talk about Matthew 24, and then when he asks if you believed what you just said, say "not a damn word of it."
Considering that I did these things, it's a wonder I stuck it out as long as I did. At some level, I stopped believing long before the conscious part of my brain caught up.
