A Good Escape Plan. (page 2)

Daunt

Thanks Everybody. I have more confidence in moving out now thanks to you guys. But, I'm mostly worried about the emotional toll it'll take on my parents. Them constantly worrying about me in their JW ways. Thinking im having gay sex with a dog while beating up babies since now im in this world at whatnot. But I still worry about how they'll take it. I do love them.

bikerchic

Daunt you sound like a good son.

But, I'm mostly worried about the emotional toll it'll take on my parents. Them constantly worrying about me in their JW ways.

It's not your job or position in life to be worried about your parents emotional status especially since it's one they impose on themselves and use as emotional blackmail against you. If it were that they were truly incapable of dealing with life albeit maybe challenged in some way, ya know it still wouldn't be your job to tend to them.

Children are raised to grow up and fly the coup that is the natural course of things, just do it with honor make a good game plan and stick to it. Living your life well is the best way you can bring honor and take the "sting" out of leaving the JW's for your parents.

If I were you I would get into a community college as soon as you can, don't put it off get into the habit of learning and going to school, make it your first priority, jobs and earning a living second. You are young you've got the energy now to make it all happen your education is your future and too easily put on the back burner thinking you'll do it next semester and the next and so on while life crowds it out.

Best of luck to you, you sound perfectly capable of making your life happen which is a tribute to your parents.

freedom96

Just make sure you use this time to plan your financial future. I don't think most people can afford to go without college these days. Get it done, and out of the way.

Then..... the rest of your life is ahead of you to do whatever you chose!

Satanus

It's great that you have a plan. You have some good advice here too. If only i had bumped into a site like this, and there had been an internet when i momentarily drifted away when i was 17 yrs old. Wrong thinking, i know.

S

jgnat

It sounds like you are well on your way. As others have said, you are not responsible for your parent's happiness. You can ease the transition somewhat by reporting in regularly. Once a week to start, weaning to once a month should be fine. You might also write them a letter once in a while, something like,

Dear Mom and Dad,

I am doing fine. I am $ticking to my $tudie$ and I am living withing my mean$. Thank you again for rai$ing me to be re$pon$ible and con$cientiou$. I am keeping up on my $piritual $tudies a$ well, just in ca$e you were wondering, and I eat vegetable$ at every meal. Love and hug$,

Daunt

Thanks a ton folks. I'm taking all of you guys' advice very personally. I need to work on myself financially better first so I can truly know where im going to stand when i get out. And about my parent's wellbeing, I've thought about this a lot and came to pretty much the same conclusion as you guys. I've been tearing down my own beliefs and dreams to keep them happy and it's just not worth my happiness over. I'll report to you guys on how my life is going. Thanks so much, would still be lost without this site.

lisaBObeesa

Hi, I moved out when I turned 18. I will tell you how things went for me and what I would do different.

First, I was never baptised. When I broke the news to my parents about leaving the JWs, I told my parents I was not sure I believed in God, rather than telling them I thought the whole JW religion was wrong wrong wrong.

Because I never said anything bad against the JW, just GOD, my family did not shun me when I left. Whenever I was asked if I believed that the JWs were God's Org, I would say, "I just don't know for sure if there is a God. It just doesn't make sense to me. I just don't know." This worked out well for me. Well, it worked out better than being called an apostate would have gone.

Second, I felt I had no choice but to move out of the house because my parents kept me locked in the house when I wasn't at meetings or work. And they forced me to go to meetings and all the JW stuff if I lived in their home. I couldn't stand it. If they had given me just a little freedom I would have stayed. I wish I could have, because I wasn't really ready maturity-wise to move out. But I had to.

So I got a job with medical insurance (one of the BEST moves I made, btw! Get ya some medical insurance!), saved some money and moved out. I rented a room from strangers because it was all I could afford in my very expensive area. I was very difficult! It was worth to me, however.

I tried to go to school and work, but that only lasted two semesters. I just could not hack living on my own and being free for the first time (read: PARTY PARTY PARTY) and work and school. Big big mistake. I wish I would have realized how important school really was! I wish I had done ANYTHING it took to get that degree. But to me at the time, all I cared about was having a social life that I never had before. But YOU MUST GO TO SCHOOL IF YOU POSSIBLY CAN.

You must not ONLY plan your escape from you parnets home, you must plan your LIFE to some degree.

Thats my 2 cents! And you can always come here for support! It is a big world out there...a great world. Good luck!

-Lisabobeesa

G Money

Rent a room somewhere not too far from home as you might have some non judgmental jw friends or worldly ones, but not too close where parents and elders will bug you. Somewhere with good public transportation and then live simply and work hard and study hard and learn about the world and people how it really is. Start to have some long term goals and have some fun in life but nothing that will come back to haunt you, at least too much. As long as nobody gets a disease or pregnant, you'll be fine.

Maybe a bigger city is a good move, with plenty of colleges and opportunities. It won't be fun or easy but give it 6 or 7 years and you'll be so happy!

Wasanelder Once

Daunt,

As was said, the best thing you can give your parents is a clean, happy and productive life of your own. Remember that thier mindset will NEVER GIVE UP HOPE you will become a "Brother". So, don't think it will ever go away. Remember, its not over till the fat angel sings. So, focus instead on your personal goals. School is good. Staying well and balanced is very good in the short and long run. Don't let people take advantage of your giving nature. Enjoy!

W.Once

rebel8

I agree with the others on the college thing. I ended up putting myself through college years after leaving the JWs, and let me tell ya, I was dirt poor. The only apt. I could afford was across the street from a crack house. If there is some way you can go to college and get partial financial support from your parents, take advantage of it. It is soooo much harder to do it yourself.

This is totally off-topic, but what type of art do you do? What school are you thinking of attending? Art is one of my side interests. I took a lot of art classes in college (some abroad, which was way cool) and am currently working on a web site and selling some of my stuff on online galleries.

A Good Escape Plan.

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