I found the torture stories scary too...the main buzzwords being 'Great Tribulation', 'Persecution', 'Oppression' as a kid I was scared shitless of being taken away from those who were familiar and had dreams of hiding out in Kingdom Hall cellars and things like that...(almost like an air raid shelter).
I think back now and realise that whilst a JW never more had I been persecuted and oppressed; and it was for me my 'great tribulation' but this didnt come from outside of the organisation, it came from within; now I am out its like the weight has been lifted from my shoulders and my shackles have been unclipped. No fear, no guilt, no unhappiness, and a whole life ahead of me.
For me it was having my fingernails pulled out. Armagedon was coming in a few years which meant the persecutions had to start soon. I would obsess on how anyone could bear that pain since I was a nailbiter from childhood and when I would bite down so far it really hurt. I was afraid I would forget to scream when they came to rape me. Imagine that, being raped and disfellowshipped for not screaming. I was afraid of the elders. After being forced into the back room for interogation to bear false witness against a friend that I kept refusing to do, the interogation continued. The demons. They were everywhere. In under around over...always there.
the great tribulation, torture during the great tribulation, being separated from my family during the great tribulation, my grandmother dying at armegeddon, me dying at armegeddon, having to clean up dead bodies after armegeddon, demons in my toys, demons in general, the angel that watched me and reported everything I did to Jehovah (man, I hated that guy), worldly people, APOSTATES, and so forth.
I can't actually remember this happeneing but I'm told that when I was about 5 years of age I was taken by my school ( I went to a Roman Catholic school) to the local church, apparentely when I spotted the crusifix I became hysterical, had a real panic attack and the nun who was in charge had to call my mum to come and pick me up, apparentely I was screaming "Jehovah" over and over again.
Whats sick about this is that my parents were proud of me.
My mom used to try and prepare us for what could happen, being taken away from them, maybe even seeing them killed before us. It's sick! The nightmares I used to have, the separation anxiety I had as a child, whenever someone left I used to worry I'd never see them again, etc.
That if I wasn't good, that I wouldn't live forever, that I'd never see my loved ones again.
I had nightmares of nazi-like persecutors tourturing my family in the G.T. They would ask them questions and if they got the wrong answers the nazi dude would blow the head off of some other family member. I also drempt of having my face and eyes pecked to shreds and eaten by crows.
Definetly the demons. We always heard stories of how the demons would attack you at night. Then my dad died when I was 8 years old and I was always afraid the demons would appear looking like my dad. I used to pray every night that I wouldn't see a demon. I did that until I was around 13 year old. I had a friend who's family was obsessed with the demons. They even blamed them on the death of thier baby. Most likely caused by SIDS. They used to tell stories of demons coming out of the wall and attacking people.
As a child at the Kingdom Hall you were exposed to all the teachings that the adults got, so I imagine quite a few witness kids had horrible nightmares etc from what was taught.
I suppose the biggest thing I remember was all the talk of demons. Anything not related to the WTS could be demon infested. Armageddon didn't sound too exciting either.
funnily enough my Parents tried to keep the Torture chat to a minimum..the reason being that Satan would listen and get ideas for the GT!
By the way i was barely 5 Years old when i first heard stories about Armageddon ,Death ,destruction ,torture,Malawi etc.
First day of School for my younger Brother started with him screaming that School was demonized (he didnt wanna go..natural i suppose)and my Parents beaming with pride as he was dragged in to the building to start School life screaming "God"s name.
We had one Watchtower study when I was about 17 that told us about a young man in Roman times who became a Christian. The Romans had him tied down and got the most beautiful women from the temple to try arouse and ‘compromise’ him. In order ‘not to give in to his rising passion he bit into his tongue.' In the end he bit his tongue right off.
We were asked whether we would do the same in such circumstances. Later that Sunday a few of us met up at the pub and continued to debate how we would respond - or indeed not respond to such ‘torture. I said I would refuse to damage tongue as I used it serve Jehovah. I would just have to accept was happening and submit to the rape.
A heated debate ensued, as the others felt this would not be acceptable. I wished I had bitten my tongue! Unfortunately such persecution never came and my preparations were in vain!
