NO LONGER SATISFIED AS I WAS, WITH JWD FORUM

by outoftheorg 69 Replies latest jw experiences

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  LongHairGal

  OutoftheOrg:
  
  I am sorry to hear that you are really hurting. Family situations can really send you into a tailspin and are so depressing. Don't give up, hang in there. (I don't mean to sound trite). As far as the board not being satisfying I think it goes through phases. Sometimes it is good and sometimes it is just ho-hum. Some posts are interesting but some I find myself afraid to reply to because I am afraid some will misunderstand or "flame" me. I believe some people here are super-afraid of being judged and they are apt to jump all over some poster who says something that maybe pricks their conscience or arouses their anger. So, you may not have the freeness of speech you thought you would have. Somehow things look more harsh in print than if they are uttered in person or over the phone.
  
  I general, I do like the board and even if I run out of thoughts and post only once in a while that is okay.
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  out of the box

  
  outoftheorg,

  I did read your posts! Thank you for your insight! I wish you the best!

  So, you need a break, so you want to go, so just go. I did notice you and yes, your absence will be noticed, just as you noticed the newbies even if you didn't post! And you will NOT be DFd!!! And you will be welcomed back with open arms when you decide to return!

  out of the box
• 

  Etude

  outoftheorg:

  It seems to me that you are overwhelmed right now in your personal life. At 70 (I'm 53), you were supposed to be enjoying the rest of your life in peace and comfort. That's the ideal. Reality is a different thing. Your post is so diametrically opposed to what I just finished reading on this other thread that it caught me by surprise.

  Although JWD can be life-saving for some, comforting for many and informative for others, it's not a panacea. I know you value it, but I hope you realize that all things have their purpose for a time. I have so much in my life (mostly good, some mundane and a little bad) that I barely have time to log in to read and respond (I stopped posting for a year), although lately, I've broken my own record. This medium is limiting. Nothing can replace the human touch and personal interaction. That's why we need to find that elsewhere, especially when we need it, and we always need it. Considering your personal situation and the limitations of this medium, all I can think that most of us can do is listen to you and comfort you and offer support.

  I experienced unbearable loneliness and absolutely no support from anyone when I was younger. I'm glad now because it would be much harder to bear at my age. But I realize that it always gets worse as we age because our contemporaries become isolated from us or die off. I'm looking out for my last surviving parent with Alzheimer's and I've noticed her isolation and depression. I tend to think that I wouldn't have any problems being isolated. But, I'm probably underestimating the how important having good people around me will be I'm older. When my family basically abandoned me, I started building friendships to take their place. That helped a lot. I hope you can find that here.

  Etude.
• 

  patio34

  Thanks outa for starting this thread. It's good to think over the meaning of it to our lives. When I first was leaving escaping the org, this board meant more to me than anything else. I've met some of the people at Steve & Joy's FreedomFest of 2003 and it's one of my best memories.

  I'm sorry that you're having family problems--I've had my share with a sociopathic family member who has a long history of drug abuse too. A therapist helped me untangle the knot that was strangling me.

  This board facilitated my escape and made it pleasant. I miss some of the previous posters but love coming here to see the old-timers and newbies. It's all interesting. I get book recommendations too!

  And as Gary Buss stated, it fills a social need, but in a way that's non-intrusive.

  We love JWD!
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  Max Divergent

  While I accept the point made originally by E/man essentially to the effect that posting and participating is a community service in an area where there's a need and few who can help... at the same time I can accept that 'moving on' can be an appropriate response to the experience of getting a real life too.

  I'm ignoring a crying hungry baby to write this... and over the years (since 1998 on H2O) I've preferred to do this over various other personal pursuits/obligations - many more hours than my meagre 400 posts at JWD would suggest or warrant.

  Amongst all the positives, and maybe even a tiny contribution of some sort to the community, I've also experienced the personal negative end of the spectrum - feelings of obsessiveness, compulsion, or a chain of connection to my JW past, knowledge that my personal affairs aren't all in order, but I read & write here instead of working on that stuff.... I think if someone wants to put some distance (at least for a while) between themselves and JW-ism (X or otherwise), then good for them... maybe that's part of growing apart from our pasts.

  If they're generous enough to tell us how they're feeling and what they intend, well that tells us something about the process of leaving the JW's with a DB community as a support. Not many of us have done that before.

  After mulling on it for a while, and some minor epiphany (sp?) or other, I finished the weekly shopping this morning knowing that I'd like to thank the board for the goodness and freedom and liberty its given me. I'm sure I've paid back none of that debt, but for some reason (that I can't quite figure and may not be either accepted or understood anyhow) I also felt a need to say {it's time for Max to sign off} and do Max, Anne and little Max stuff for a while.... like feed him for a start!!

  Lotsa, Max.
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  sonnyboy

  
  Out, I've come and gone to many forums in my day, and I've rarely felt ANY need to justify my leaving. From time to time I'll meet a few friends and say good bye, but that's about it.

  When you get bored of it, simply STOP POSTING. There's no need for psychoanalysis. Just stop it.

  It's sort of like when your body tells you that you've had enough sugar or sodium. You don't have to consider *why* you no longer crave such foods. You simply have to stop eating them to get your system back on track.
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  greendawn

  There are always some interesting posts and fluff topics are also necessary to relieve the heaviness of serious topics, you just read and reply to the ones you like or visit less frequently.
  
  There are always many newbies that will bring up certain topics time and again because they don't know they were covered before. But they are interesting to them.
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  out of the box

  outoftheorg,

  I wrote a few words before in this thread, but this morning read the whole thread and your other responses.

  I am sorry to hear about your wife's problems and with this on her mind she may not have extra time for you right now and that can add to the alianation feelings you might have. And as for worrying about your sons, remember THEY did this to themselves. You can only do what you can do, you cannot change them. It is hard to forget we can only change things that CAN change with our influence. Is your wife the one who usually 'gets you in a better mood' when things get rough? Roles may have to change for a time. You may have to take on the 'come on, get up and keep going' reminder in the house for a while. I am sure you can do it! It just takes concentrating on things 'outside' of one's own needs for a while and concentrate on who and what needs you for a time.

  And about your being 70!!! My dad is 76 and he beat cancer 14 years ago (was given 6 months to live back then). Within the last 15 years we finally have a relationship because of his life-scare he made amends when he found out he had cancer. I got to know him (after abandoning us years ago). So, now that I am close to him I feel his pain with the cancer treatment aftermath on his body. He is in pain every day to the tune of 75mg of morphine twice a day and still is in pain. He got a scare two weeks ago, and the biopsy said not cancer. He was already saying 'good-bye' to me he thought he was on 'borrowed time'. He LOVES to work on antique cars and thought he had to give that up. This is what I told him and I hope it will help you. 'Dad, go get the tests, rest and wait for the Doctor's diagnosis. I won't accept from you the idea it's over because you run off with this idea in your head. Now, when the tests come back and they tell you the cancer has not returned, you get your medication adjusted for YOUR needs and then go to the next car show (happened to be in a few weeks from then) and look for another antique car to work on and DREAM about your cars, look at them, touch them and love them. Cancer cannot take that away from you!' Anyway, the tests came back OK, he went to the car show, has found a car (not from the show) that needs him (to fix up) and he is on top again. He said 'I thought my life was over' I said 'Dad, it's over when it's over, in the meantime LIVE'. If you still have your health, you are RICH! We all can't be rich in everything, but I am sure all of us here can count a few things we have that others don't YOUNG OR OLDER - NONE of us have it ALL! You have way more than my dad and you are younger than him! That's a start!

  I didn't mean to make this post long. I was trying to deliver a short 'pep talk'. Oh well... But I think that being 70 is still YOUNG in this time in the world. You are alive as long as you are breathing! What are your hobbies, what was your passion (besides young gals). And, do you get sunshine? Or do you sit at the computer for hours (can drive anyone nuts!) Do you like to read, fix things, make things? I am 56 and when I hear a man saying he is 70 I don't think that is old! The time-clock ticks for ALL of us outoftheorg, you are NOT ALONE, JWs, non JWs, worldly, wicked... "time and unforseen occurance befall us all"! If you are alive (if you are reading this post, there is a great chance you are!) then concentrate on living. Sounds easy and a trifle thing to do, just try it before knocking it. OK? You like humor, got any good jokes? Maybe you could post some!

  Lighten up on yourself and stop expecting so much from yourself, be easier on yourself and learn to love you for just being you! No one here expects you to be perfect! You think you got it bad, Hey, hear the one about the two flies sitting on the edge of the toilet seat? One flew away and the other one got pissed off! A four year old told my friend that one! Ha ha! try going here and reading some of this explanation from the http://members.aol.com/beyondjw/atpol.htm http://members.aol.com/beyondjw/ forum.

  out of the box
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  LouBelle

  I'm still pretty new here, but would like to thank those of you that consider yourself old timers. There are posters on here that have truly helped & are still helping me open my mind to different possibilities/ideas. Some of the threads are repeated I"m sure - esp by us newbies as our new found taste for freedom of thought has got us firing question upon question, asking WHY a lot.

  Those of you that have been around for a while make this forum. You are it's foundations.
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  sonnyboy

  I sort of prefer the fluff topics myself. One can only take so much WT bashing at a time.