BETTER TO HAVE LOVED AND LOST (page 2)

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BETTER TO HAVE LOVED AND LOST

I don't know. That was a harsh thing for me to go through.

Some say ignorance is bliss.

Losing someone (either to death or breakup) is a painful process. I have only loved 3 people in my life. When the first one left I wasn't sure I'd ever be able to move on. I was also scared that since I had never loved someone before that he might have been the only I could love. That was very scary. I had been with him for 7 years. It took me almost 3 years to be able to date again. Boy #2 up and moved to Japan....that was hard too, although we had only been dating for about 2 years. I married #3....so if he goes it will be quite awful. Funny thing is on #3 (hubby) on our 2nd date I knew he was "the one". Odd, because I never believed in "the one" crap. Maybe I'm just getting to be a softie in my old age. LOL.

I am still very good friends now with boy #1 and #2. It took time for me to get over both of them and be able to salvage a friendship. I appreciate them now for what we had. I still miss each one just a little bit for the various unique things we used to laugh over. But wouldn't trade my hubby for the world. As Billy so eloquently stated....we cherish the moments we have together.

Life isn't fair. But right now, life is very good. It's nice having a lover, a friend, and a partner in crime. I've been blessed with more than anyone can ask for.

My first ex taught me this. When he left me for someone else it hurt....and hurt so bad...but then I saw the devestation he went through when the person he loved died of cancer 3 years ago. He got bounced hard. He still isn't over it yet, but slowly pulling out of the pit of despair he's been through. This person went from completely healthy to dead in under 10 weeks. Granted at least they had time to put their affairs in order but still, thinking you have an eternity because you are both young and healthy (supposedly healthy) is an illusion.

Also, it made me realize how little protections we as gay people have. He was denied access to his lover because his family didn't like the fact he was gay and didn't like my ex. So he got shut out of the hospital alot. The nurses would let him slip in after visiting hours when the family wasn't there. Very, very sad! They also had the nerve not allow him to come to the funeral....can you believe that?

So my long answer to the topic at hand. Yes it is better to have loved! We only have so many opportunities in life....let's make them count.

Billygoat

I don't know. That was a harsh thing for me to go through.
Some say ignorance is bliss.

Else, I agree with this sometimes. For me, my first break up as a teenager was devastating. Years later my divorce was hard, but not devastating. My break up to a guy after that was also hard, but not as bad. I guess what I'm saying is that perhaps whence you've experienced deep, soul-shattering pain, it makes pain after that seem...survivable. You've survived it once, you'll survive it again type of thing, yanno? Funny thing though...after you experience that deep, soul-shattering pain a couple times, it makes the good times extra extra sweet. You truly appreciate the minute little things in a relationship.

Without my devastating break ups in the past, I would never appreciate my husband for who he is and for what we have.

tijkmo

i think the point i was thinking about was the relationship i was in was wrong...but it didnt mean it wasnt real...

and even though im now finally over it ..i think..and ready to move on...i do not look back and think..well it was a negative experience but im glad i went through it... i think...i wish i had never known love like that because i hated losing it...so in this case not better to have loved and lost...better not to have loved at all

tijkmo...of the oh yeah life goes on..long after the thrill of living is gone class

JH

Better to have loved and lost

than never to have loved at all
i'm not sure i agree
do you?

Remember this song:

Owner of a lonely heart,

much better than an owner of a broken heart

I think that love is the most wonderful thing in the world, and its worth the pain that ~~sometimes~~ always accompanies it. How sad it is when you LOVE someone, and that person in return has nothing for you.

tijkmo

yes

MerryMagdalene

Give all to love;
Obey thy heart;
Friends, kindred, days,
Estate, good fame,
Plans, credit, and the Muse,----
Nothing refuse.

'Tis a brave master;
Let it have scope:
Follow it utterly,
Hope beyond hope:
High and more high
It dives into noon,
With wing unspent,
Untold intent;
But it is god,
Knows its own path
And the outlets of the sky.

It was never for the mean;
It requieth courage stout.
Souls above doubt,
Valor unbending,
It will reward,----
They shall return
More than they were,
And ever ascending.

Leave all for love;
Yet, hear me, yet,
One word more thy heart behoved,
One pulse more of firm endeavor,----
Keep thee today,
Tomorrow, forever,
Free as an Arab
Of thy beloved.

Cling with life to the maid;
But when the surprise,
First vague shadow of surmise
Flits across her bosom young,
Of a joy apart from thee,
Free be she, fancy free;
Nor thou detain her vesture's hem,
Nor the palest rose she flung
From her summer diadem.

Though thou loved her as thyself,
As a self of purer clay,
Though her parting dims the day,
Stealing grace from all alive;
Heartily know,
When half gods go,
The gods arrive.
-----Ralph Waldo Emerson

BETTER TO HAVE LOVED AND LOST

Elsewhere

EvilForce

Billygoat

tijkmo

JH

tijkmo

MerryMagdalene

tijkmo

ballistic

BrendaCloutier

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