to a customer or cashier: Never trust a skinny chef! after a long absence: I ain't seen you in a coon's age! to my employees:
Time to lean, time to clean!
when astounded/taken aback/ suprised:
Well chop my dick off and call me Sussie!
At a small raise in a poker game:
I'd pay ( X amount ) to watch a monkey f**k a football!