Attn Unbeleiving Mates (ubm's): "I'm a dub! I'm right! Join or who cares!"

by Check_Your_Premises 71 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  carla

  Well, mine just left for a meeting and here I am reading this thread! something wrong with this picture? damn. carla
• 

  Check_Your_Premises

  Carla,

  Did you give him the letter?
• 

  95stormfront

  I think about the nuclear option sometimes. I know I make it to easy for her. She doesn't work. I did that before she was a witness so our kids wouldn't be in daycare.

  Perhaps that is the problem. My wife doesn't work either. Could it be that by making it easier for them, we're making it harder on ourselves?
• 

  Check_Your_Premises

  Perhaps that is the problem. My wife doesn't work either. Could it be that by making it easier for them, we're making it harder on ourselves?

  Well as you can imagine, making it harder could drive them deeper into the WT. It isn't an easy question. And it is not one you can just take back once you go down that road.

  CYP
• 

  95stormfront

  In that case, once you've decided on taking the nuclear option, I guess you'd better be resolved to let the chips fall where they may.

  I'm still "in love" and love my wife too much right now. It's an option I'm not ready to take. Not saying that it can ever get to that point. I'm waffling, sometimes I feel I'm there....other times I'm not.

  One day, this fence I'll not straddle anymore though.
• 

  Check_Your_Premises

  Yeah it is a tough call. Like you said, it can't be a bluff. It is like Gary said, his marriage was already gone. You can't care what happens either way. I am no where near that point. It sounds like you are getting fed up.

  If I am still hanging out here and posting this stupid crap on the day of my youngest kids high school graduation, I think I am going to go hop on my bike like Gary did.

  Are we making it to easy on them. Must be nice to have somebody support you so you can go join a cult. I would like to just go off the deep end sometimes. I wonder what that feels like to know somone else will cover for you. But I just couldn't live with myself if I left my responsibilities to someone else.
• 

  lonelysheep

  I can't imagine not having to work!

  I must admit working full time and meetings made my life hell. Top that with an UBM, and you got yourself a miserable bitch.
• 

  jgnat

  Oops, just saw your edit, C_Y_P. Yes, that is a good improvement. That is an adorable quality in a man, by the way. The ability to take fair criticism. I hope the wifey realizes what she's got.

  I think this is something us supporting UBM's do have in our back pocket. Deep down our spouses know EXACTLY how good they've got it. Even as they splash a little sweat on their forehead and furrow their tortured brow to show off to the sympathizers down at the KH.
• 

  Pistoff

  I know that this is a nitpick but:
  
  Please don't refer to us as unbelieving. I hear it when I go to the meetings, even though they paid lip service to changing how they refer to non-witnesses.
  
  I am still technically a witness, but this rankles me no end.
  
  As if making the choice to not join a cult, makes one an "unbeliever".
  
  Well, I am a believer in God. It insults me every time I hear it, it is so *unbelievably* arrogant.
  
  Ok, got that off my chest.
  
  I went through a lot with my wife, who is still active but doubting. The real pain was when I withdrew emotionally from the meetings, and when our oldest was disfellowshipped. Our comfortable little world was crumbling, I was angry and could not just accept what the "elders" said about the whole mess.
  
  She resented me for not being the good theocratic husband; now she realizes that I was right, they were oh so wrong.
  
  I think she stays for the social aspect, as we had good friendships. But she is beginning to think for herself, and is not happy with what she is hearing about the sex abuse scandal, elder's decisions on JC's and of course, the "proper role of women", hehe.
  
  Patience...........
• 

  defd

  Check your prem.

  I have found that there is a great deal of advice for just the situation you and your wife are in. I know alot of it will focus on the Individual Serving Jehovah in the pages of the WT and Awake. However I have read and seen some great advise in the bible on how to handle, and be sucessful in the marraige.