by Satanus 27 Replies latest jw friends
Insomniac
who cares- if a person feels euphoric after dropping five bucks into a homeless guy's hand, does that make their actions any less worthy?
No. And, you're controling how they spend the mony, either, which is as it should be, i think.
anewme
I have seen that happen many times, not just in the wt, but especially in politics. In fact, that may be how politics works.
S
I am not sure if it is correct, but i often think that giving should be without expecting something back
Absolutely, otherwise it becomes "exchanging" and not "giving".
I am not sure if this will be of any help to you Satanus but I will share with you some things which I have noticed:
When I was very young I would give to others at the nudging of adults. My reward was knowing that I was following adult instructions.
When I grew up (teens and early twenties) and gave to others without prompting, there was an element of personal ego boosting involved.
Now I give as an automated reaction simply because I believe that is is what must be done - part of my civic duty.
If because of your JW past you have a bad taste in your mouth regarding ulterior motives then I suggest you simply make (a measure of) giving a habit and you will find that, over time, ulterior motives or ego play less of a role.
Another thing, it seems to me that kids who do the christmas thing in school, where they all exchange gifts and cards, learn how to give and recieve. 'Course, there is selfishness, greed and comparing among them, but that is part of the learning. Anyone have experience in this?
S
One more thing: do you think that the giver should put conditions on money that they give? For instance, stipulating that a person should not spend the money on cigs.
S
do you think that the giver should put conditions on money that they give? For instance, stipulating that a person should not spend the money on cigs.
Should or Could?
Are we talking an unconditional form of giving or a conditional form of giving?
People are entitled to give conditionally. The notion of giving is very much a personal choice (excluding forced giving by way of Government and taxation).
Should people give unconditionally? I would think it depends on the circumstances.
I meant if it is right for the giver to put on conditions.
S
I think that a giver could have stipulations, if the giver believed that doing so was in the best interest of the receiver. I'd rather help a person get to a shelter than give $10. (But I frequently give money anyway; it's more expedient. That is, if I want to give but can only give money [or nothing at all], I'll just do the money.)
If giving is all about me, the giver, rather than the best interests of the receiver, then it's all ego and not honest love IMO. So, to give a gift can be complicated since it could require understanding what is probably the best interest of the receiver... and that takes a bit of time investment on occasion.
bebu
PS: This is a very interesting thread, Satanus.
Don't we all need some sense of worth--some meaningfulness to our lives--some sense of significance? Helping others is one way that is accomplished. The real reward comes in having made a difference--seeing someone else benefit from our involvement. The worst is wanting to help--offering to help--knowing you can be of help--and not having anyone interested.
I read somewhere a while ago that even Mother Theresa herself does her good works because she gets a good feeling about it. She does these things for the boost in self-esteem, the good feeling that will invariably come knowing you made a difference and if it weren't for you, the world would be a little less happy.
Maybe it was in a philosophy or sociology class. I think the point was that all humans are driven by selfish needs, and there is no exception. This always sort of stuck with me. I desperately wanted to serve in the Peace Corps or set up a hospital in Haiti or something when I was in undergrad. But then I would always remind myself "You're not so great, you're only doing this because you want that good feeling and the glory that goes along with self-sacrificing actions." Just like spending your summers auxillary pioneering as a teen instead of having fun. It sucks, but you have this little feeling inside that says, "I'm better than them".
Not for me,I help persons because I want to and I don't expect anything in return.
My dear freind has a mother like that! She will help out her daughter but she always has a motive behind it and throws it in her face weeks later.Thankfully my friend is realizing and is breaking away from her mother,of all people.Sad but has to be done.
I know of some people who do things for people just in case they may need something in return some day...bleck! They even expect to be payed back in some sort of way....bleck again!
