by Satanus 27 Replies latest jw friends
Maybe the buzz people get from giving is different than an ego puff. A person can get that kind of buzz from a job well done. A feeling of satisfaction. An ego boost would result when a person used giving to show, and would give the feeling of importance, superiority, power. While i never read much about mother theresa, i don't think that it was an ego thing for her.
S
I guess another way to formulate this would be to say 'is there such a thing a pure altruism'
I think there is always a pay off in any kind thing you do, even if its just the warm glow you get from having done something good.
I dont think that warm glow invalidates the good thing you did (as in - you got a buzz from it, so it wasnt truly a selfless act of kindness). But this is the argument my mum uses against me whenever I try to do anything for her. Its very frustrating.
I suppose some may fill their ego helping others but even if they are they are still helping someone . I hope most are helping because they want a better life for the other person / persons and yes it does make one feel good for any good they have done ,so if it is to fill their ego , fine ,but others are still benefiting from it.
To be motivated by the prospect of receiving a return is natural and normal. Who would pay for a product or service with the expectation of getting nothing for it? And in the case of doing a charitable work, while there might not be a conscious expectation of a benefit, there still is some kind of internal gratification attached. We consider someone who deliberately does something self-destructive to be a masochist, but even a masochist receives some kind of reward--evidence that they are the worthless individuals they believe they are, and administration of the treatment they feel they deserve.
I’ve heard Christians who were "righteously" appalled by the thought of serving God and people with the expectation of some kind of return or benefit, but when you look through the Bible, God always calls people or appeals to them with the promise of some kind of reward. Never does the Father or Jesus say, "Follow me, but you’ll get nothing out of the deal." There’s always a blessing--be it material, emotional, or spiritual--temporal or eternal--attached to God’s call. So clearly, that’s an acceptable motivation. In fact, I’ll go one step further. The Bible’s teaching is that God EXPECTS us to call him on his offer. That’s part of what faith is about--expecting God to keep his promises. From a Biblical perspective, to tell God, "No thanks. I don’t need or expect anything from you" is false humility and insulting to God.
Somewhere, there is a line that is crossed when we are just using others for our benefit. That’s the real issue, isn’t it?
kattiekitten
I guess another way to formulate this would be to say 'is there such a thing a pure altruism'
Yah, i guess that was the core of my question. It seems to have been answered. Absolutes seem to be dissolving.
S
hmike
Somewhere, there is a line that is crossed when we are just using others for our benefit. That’s the real issue, isn’t it?
Yah, and it's a grey area.
S
I do think that 'absolute altruism' exists.... but in little patches here and there and not in a constant, pure form.
It is interesting to think about how much value we attach to altruism.
bebu
ooooo my head is hurting
anyone here know the difference between caring/giving and codependancy?
When I was younger I thought the only way to get people to like me was to give to them - take care of them in some way. If I gave them what they wanted they would, maybe, perhaps, possibly give me what I needed. Took me a long long time to unlearn that lesson.
Now I give because it makes me feel good. And yes I like to be appreciated but I would rather go to sleep at night knowing I did the right thing (whether anyone else knew about it or not) than go to bed thinking "I should have..."
Now I either do it or forget it. It is no longer about payback
