I think its gross! I can see 18, but not younger than that
Older men dating teenagers/Lolitas
by wanderlustguy 63 Replies latest social relationships
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Finally-Free
I couldn't imagine dating someone who's a teen. I just don't find someone that young attractive - they look too much like kids. And what would there be to talk about with so little in common? You can only spend so much time screwing. What do you do with the other 12 hours in a day?
Shera:
.Hey I'm 35 and if I wanted to date,marry a man who was 50 I would.I'll be young enough to push him in his wheelchair in 20 yrs....
I don't think I'll need a wheelchair in 20 years, but maybe in 30. You're definitely on my short-list.
Damn, you're not single, are ya?
W
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Abaddon
Of course, I've been talking about 'Western society'. It ain't that integral a unit. In France, and especially in Brazil, there's a far more relaxed attitudes towards teen girls and grown men having sex.
Half the songs on French radio seem to consist of a teenage girl and a guy in his fifties in a steamy duet. A colleauge of mine is Brazillian, and she just doesn't know why most Europeans and Americans make so much fuss as she thinks (and expresses a common view in Brazil) that it is totally normal for a teenage girl to learn from an older man - why, she asks, would a teenage girl want to learn from a teenage boy who knows nothing? Her attitude is 'if everyone thinks it's bad, it's all done in secret and you never know when it IS bad, if everyone treats it like normal, then there is no secrecy and you find out if it goes wrong'.
Naive? Visionary? Or just different?
We should remembe that by our standards, we would have probably considered at least one of our great-great grandparents a sex offender.
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Big Tex
If 'teen' is 17, 18, 19 I might raise an eyebrow but if that's what she's attracted to well, whatever. I don't see the attraction in a 50 year old guy (for which Nina is grateful for I'm sure). If 'teen' is 13, 14 that's another matter completely.
I'm probably extremely naive, but 'learn from an older man' makes the whole experience sound mechanical like the girl is going to school or is apprenticing or something.
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FreeWilly
American society is still affected by it's Puritanical roots. As correctly pointed out, this is not necessarily the norm elsewhere, nor has it been historically. From a biological prespective the youngest eligible (post-pubescent) adult female is and should be the most 'attractive' to males. This, of course, explains why nearly all repesentations of sexuality are modeled after their form.I think Abaddon's first post is a must read for all the luddy's.
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Confession
When a young man I was generally more attracted to women older than I. I married a 32 year old woman when I was 20. It was not a good marriage--although her being a wildly dysfunctional alcoholic foreshadowed any age difference problems that might have developed. I don't know for certain why I liked them older. It seemed to me that younger girls were so "flighty," didn't know what they wanted, etc. I liked the idea of being with a more experienced woman.
Now that I'm 39, it's amazing how open I now am to younger women. Truth is, I still like older women quite a bit. I occasionally see a woman who is 45. But the difference now is this: younger women seem so drawn to me now, and I see that they are to other older men as well. For any who like to disparage men for seeking younger women, please understand that (as a few well-written contributors here have attested to) this is not a one-way street. I've had two 21-year old young ladies make clear advances to me in the last year, and one who is 25. (The 21 year olds have been fun--but are painfully one-dimensional. The 25 year old is actually very intelligent and enjoyable to be with.)
But I know the idea behind the original post here is not specifically about older men and younger women. It's about a person who only seeks relationships with others he or she can dominate. And that seems sad--both for the dominator and particularly the dominated.
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Cygnus
Nobody can really quite agree, it's all opinion. In the book A Clockwork Orange, the two girls Alex has a sexual romp with are no older than ten. No way could Kubrick get away with somethng like that on film so he turned them into teenagers, but he had to cut 30 seconds of the 5-x's-sped-up orgy scene to even get his movie a rating..... an X rating at that.
World (state) wide ages of consent for both hetero and homo sexual behavior ---> http://www.ageofconsent.com/ageofconsent.htm
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Mecurious?
Hey, that was thebest post yet confession! I would date a 18 year old if I were single. A 25 year old sounds just perfect to me as well, again no problems. I think its a good thing for a man to have a younger women. If I had to do it all over again I would probably marry someone around the age of 20-25 age range.
I notice too that alot of women; (even those who do it themselves) can't stand to see a older guy date or married to younger women. Men who marry younger women are actually doing those women a favor in my eyes, cuz she will most likely outlive him and when he dies she gets to keep all his money!
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Mecurious?
I have a buddy in his 30's he dates and screws them as young as 18 yrs old. I guess the fact that he's a millionaire doesn't hurt either! He does complain about their maturity level though.
Like Abandon mentioned if we follow the logic that exists today in western culture you'd have to say a significant percentage of our ancestors are pedophiles, because during most of human history girls being married at 13, 14, 15 or 16 was the norm, & much more normal than women marrying in their 20's, including with guys twice their age.
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wanderlustguy
But I know the idea behind the original post here is not specifically about older men and younger women. It's about a person who only seeks relationships with others he or she can dominate. And that seems sad--both for the dominator and particularly the dominated.
Finally...someone gets it!