Ingenuous,
What a good thread! I would like to think that I have a bigger heart. And, I share it with those I trust. Trust that has been earned not dictated so that I am set up for a fall. What you see is what you get!!!
out of the box
Is your heart bigger since you left?
by Ingenuous 17 Replies latest jw experiences
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CinemaBlend
No, I'm bitter and it's shriveled. I've taken to eating puppies.
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Ingenuous
CinemaBlend - And kittens! Don't forget kittens! -- The Bible study group I went to last Sunday mentioned how they get a lot of X-JWs, but they tend to be very bitter. I'm surprisingly not bitter - for the moment. If things go downhill with my family, I fear that may change.
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vitty
Yes, I have because now I allow myself to feel.
And like you it was pretty instant
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Ingenuous
Vitty: Yes, I have because now I allow myself to feel.
Very true. I don't beat myself up for being human anymore. I'm able to accept my own failings and variety of feelings. In turn, I'm more understanding of/patient with these in others.
As JWs, we were only allowed to "tolerate" others and their feelings. We had to actively "hate" certain responses in others, which, for all our claims, was hard to separate from the person themself.
I don't claim to be this wonderful, pollyanna-type person. But I do feel a lot more human.
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anewme
I would not say its bigger yet. I still have yet to do anything for anybody since I left. I have been secluded and cloistered since my dfing. I am still pretty sensitive to fundamentalist thinking and avoid people like that. After my divorce I got a couple of jobs for the first time in years. The way people treat each other in the work force outside of the K.H. was a rude awakening. It was sure different. No one cared how their comments landed on you. I got used to it somewhat in order to get along. But being around real stupid low wage trash-mouthed fellow workers got me to do some thinking.
I had to now set my own standards of conduct and decide what I stood for and what I would personally put up with. I had to pick all new friends. I am surprised with the conclusions I came up with over the last 4 years. It is my first time as an adult to make these decisions for myself. Most other people would discover these things in their first year away from home at college I guess or their first job at 17.
I think as a Witness I put up with more "weirdies" in my life than I do now. I was more generous with my time and energies and resources than I am now. -
Ingenuous
ANewMe: It sounds like your heart has changed - it's much more gracious when it comes to your own self-worth, when it comes to respect for your own intelligence and ability to make choices that let you be true to yourself and your real values. And now, you get to know your actions spring from awareness of your own competence and voluntary choices, as opposed to things you might have done out of a sense of obligation - or even guilt.
Peace and Blessings on your path!