by JH 23 Replies latest jw friends
I think that conflicts do strengthen friendships or relationships. It sets boundary lines and defines what's acceptable from what's not acceptable. Naturally it will strengthen the friendship or relationship as long as both respect the boundary line of the other one.
Or, maybe conflicts mean that things aren't going right and the relationship/friendship isn't going good, and that the tolerance level has become very low, and arguments errupt for little nothings...
I have a low tolerence for people who want to argue with me. They need to understand one thing, and it's really very simple - It's my way or the highway! The most satisfying relationships are with people who bow to your every whim.
W
I think if the conflict is fought fairly then it can strengthen the relationship. Letting each other get what they need out and listening to what each other have to say is very important. An apology afterwards is a must as well
Dams
If it seems 2 people always fight----it might suggest the liason is not meant to be. "Friends" shouldn't always be bickering and argumentative, imo.
In any relationship, there are bound to be conflicts. In my own opinion, it's how we react to conflict, that dictates to whether the relationship is strengthened or not. There are many things that factor in on a conflict, that can make or break a friendship and / or a relationship. The trick, is to sit down and calmly discuss these conflicts, and try to work out a solution that benefits all involved. Sometimes, NOT, an easy task. But it can be a rewarding one, if everyone involved, comes to the table with each other's best interest at heart.
Delilah
I think we need to make a distinction here between arguments/fighting and conflicts. . .
Personally, I always see it as a positive thing when a conflict arises. It's an opportunity to see how genuine the friendship is. Is the issue worth arguing over? If it is, will you respect the other person's view? Is the whole relationship based on that particular issue? Is there a compromise? How willing are you to extend yourself to that compromise? Will it cross your healthy boundaries to do so?
One thing I've learned about JWism, is that to them things are always black and white. There is no room for grey. It's either right or wrong to them and if you don't believe 100% in their viewpoint, then you're in the wrong. It's all or nothing. Fortunately for those of us who've escaped, we realize that very little in this world can be approached with "all or nothing" attitudes.
"I can't go to that church because I just don't believe in the trinity/hellfire/baby baptisms, etc." Says who?
"I can't date that man because he smokes (or is divorced). He must not have any morals." Says who?
"I can't work there because they support the United Way." Says who?
I've had to work on seeing those greys in my life. I think many exJWs are easily caught up in an "all or nothing" attitude, even though they no longer believe in the JW edicts.
Just my thoughts...
Andi
You're totally wrong Billygoat.
B.
Bradley:
Would that be the voice of experience?
Communication is a SKILL. I've never met anyone who was good at communications without working at it.
