by Swan 28 Replies latest jw friends
Okay, Tammy, sit that poor boy down and make him watch "South Pacific" five times back to back until he can recite all the words to "You Have To Be Taught."
Cruz - I don't get it. South Pacific was about a fellow falling for a Tahitian girl right? (I once did some work for a woman who was in that movie)
He's a really nice kid, otherwise, and he should be entitled to his opinions. But saying things like that is only going to get him in trouble eventually, and I hate to see that happen, since I don't really know for sure that those are his opinions.
In dealing with him, I sometimes see a really thoughtful side of him, lying just underneath all of the BS. He reminds me so much of us when we were his age and could instantly offer our opinion on any topic that came up by reciting key thoughts from a recent Watchtower.
I think he has been indoctrinated by his environment for so long, he just says these things without thinking. I think when he says that men didn't walk on the moon, I think he is just restating something he has heard a parent talking about. When he says things like "in another 10 or 20 years our state will secede from the union because of all the Mexicans moving in," I shudder to think of who is teaching this poor kid this kind of bigotry.
Do they really think they are doing this kid any favors by teaching him that white people should have all the best jobs and their own country?
And as for the gay thing, I don't think they act gay. I think they are gay. I think they are just being themselves.
So here is my dilemma. If gay people, Hispanic people, and others are allowed to be themselves at work, is it wrong for me to tell this kid to be careful about being himself? Even if being himself means being intolerant or a bigot? As his mentor, I am supposed to be providing guidance about the working world, not just the technical operations of doing the job. But he doesn't even realize what he is saying. I think he believes the stuff he says about diversity, but he also believes the other stuff too.
And I don't think this is just a religious issue, because I don't believe the Mormon church teaches people to be intolerant of Hispanics. So I don't know where some of this is all coming from. I know he lives in two households because his parents are divorced. It sounds like he is getting a lot of mixed messages.
Tammy
what does he mean by acting gay? queenie and girlie? or two men being affectionate with other because of their feelings for each other.
i don't know what he means.
A few Years back I had a gay friend. He wore a business suit and was very conservative in every way. One day after work we went for a drink in his favourite pub which was a gay pub. As soon as we were inside he totally changed. His mannerisms became effeminate and after a while he started limbo dancing.
He wanted me to see the ‘real him’ in hope that I would be impressed. I realized that in his day to day life he acted straight. I guess some gays don’t see why they should hide their light under a bushel.
I was impressed but have not yet been converted to the calling!
Many people have their opinions because of religious training from youth. My wife doesn't like gay men because they are condemned by the bible, like atheist and other beliefs, Muslims etc. I'm sure I'm not liked by some people but that is their problem, I'm happy being myself. I just hang out with those I like, and who can put up with me. Humanity is just that way, there will always be those who hate others because of many varied reasons, just like all living things on earth, and to think it was all created by a loving, kind, God.
Ken P.
We sat behind a newly wed couple at the KH once and they were all over each other during the talk and WT study. I wanted to scream, "Get a room!" Some behaviors really are inappropriate in public, regardless of who it is. If you're uncomfortable with the information about someone's ethnicity or sexual preference, that's intolerance. If you're made uncomfortable by inappropriate behavior, that's something else. Or so it seems to me.
One day after work we went for a drink in his favourite pub which was a gay pub. As soon as we were inside he totally changed. His mannerisms became effeminate and after a while he started limbo dancing.He wanted me to see the ‘real him’ in hope that I would be impressed. I realized that in his day to day life he acted straight.
Wow that was interesting a revealing. I sort of feel sorry for the guy not to be able to be himself. Yet I understand since being a guy and being effeminate doesn't go together.
what does he mean by acting gay? queenie and girlie? or two men being affectionate with other because of their feelings for each other.i don't know what he means.
Joel, I'm not sure either. I asked him and he demonstrated with the limp wrist stereotype. Frankly, I don't think he knows enough gay people (that he knows of) to know what he means. He doesn't want guys coming on to him and grabbing his butt. He doesn't want to see them kiss. I asked him, "Well, what about in an airport? All of the other couples kiss there. So isn't that okay?" Hopefully I got him thinking, but usually he is too busy talking to do any thinking along with it. I thought it was very ironic that he likes the quote by Mark Twain, "Better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt." Tammy
He needs to see the movie Later Days. That'll open his eyes.
I think what he means by "acting gay" is the limp wristing and contrived image of how some gay men act. Not all of us give a rat's ass about the Oscars, Barbara Streisand, or what's new in fation as of 10 minutes ago. Some of us would rather go 4x4, camping, hot springing or cuddle around camp fires.
I find it off putting when people play roles that they feel they must to "be" who they want to be, or how they feel they might be perceived.
I also think that you might have a chat with him about his parroted responses, if only to prevent him from really messing his life up. If he can learn that there are times to shut up, he'll be ok. That might even slowly get his mind to open up.
The smartest thing I ever did growing up gay as a JW was to keep my mouth shut. No pun intended.
He also needs to meet more people from different backgrounds, and be taught to look at the person, not the image of their percieved group.
