Got a letter from my parents... (page 2)

Elsewhere

Send them a "Thank You!" gift in the form of a few dead fish in a box. Make sure you leave the box out in the sun a few days before you send it.

TooOpinionated

Oh, how cold! At least, that's how I would take it-like they were trying to rub it in.

But on the other hand, perhaps others here are correct in saying that your parents are trying to balance the JW-think and their natural feelings for their own flesh and blood, because the dubs I know wouldn't even send me a momento like that invitation. They are the type that threw our pictures out once there was any sign of trouble. Not sending them back, mind you, but right into the garbage, as if we never existed.

sonnyboy

I think I'd give mom and dad a ring and ask them why they did that (or better yet, knock on their door).

No one should be allowed to victimize their own children like that and get away with it.

Finally-Free

I think that's a very unkind move on their part. They just can't resist giving you a poke to hurt you, but otherwise you have little if any contact for 4 years. I couldn't live like that - either I have a family or I don't. And if I don't there's no reason to communicate at all.

If I got a letter like that I'd be tempted to wipe my ass with it and send it back. I also like Elsewhere's idea of sending them a box of dead, well-ripened fish.

W

Elsewhere

I can honestly say I know how this feels... after I DAed I was actually invited to my sister's wedding.

When I got there I was warned not to talk to anyone and that I had to stay in the back corner away from everyone. After the ceremony I was not included in the Family Photos where they show all of the different new family members posing together. I managed to slip into one shot when they Photographer (a JW) forgot to name which individual should be in the shot, instead she said "all of the brothers".

No one would tell me where the reception was, so I ended up following another car group. When I got there I placed my present on the present table and then an elder from my old congregation walked up to me for a "friendly" 30-second conversation (all smiles and small talk). He then went to my dad (also an elder) and said something to him and shortly afterward my dad ejected me from the reception.

If anyone is wondering, NO, I did not make any trouble causing me to be ejected... they just tossed me out because I was an evil DAed person.

Basically, if they were going to do anything cruel to me, they were going to be forced to do it in front of the crowd and that is exactly what happened. Everyone got to see just how heartless they were. I was instructed to leave and I just turned around and walked out -- I was not going to make a scene. On my way out my younger sister asked me where I was going... I just told her that I had to go because I was not welcome there... got in my car and left.

A few years later my younger brother happened to call me, I don't recall why, but he mentioned that he had gotten married a few months before. I had be completely unaware of this until that moment. I asked him why he did not tell me before and he just stammered and said that he did not know how to tell me. I said: "Its easy, just call and say: Hey, I'm getting married.". He got real quiet at that point.

willyloman

You can tell them an elder told you that they were being needlessly cold and unloving. The Society makes it plain in their writings on treatment of disfellowshipped family members that "necessary family business" is a clear exception to the shunning rule. A marriage and a serious illness involving close relatives is "family business" by any definition, and this makes it "necessary" that you be informed and advised (in advance, not after the fact). Ask them why they have gone "beyond the things written" in this regard and whether this means they have parted ways with the Society's clear directives and, if so, why?

damselfly

(((((((((Else)))))))))

Krystal ~ If your Grandmother is still in the hospital, write her a loving message on a card. If you are nervous about not being let in the room to see her get a sympathetic nurse to agree to read the card to her. Send flowers with a big " much love from Krystal" tag attached.

I was invited to my younger sister's wedding, when I said I would be happy to attend they quickly inforned me that I wasn't welcome. So WTF!? why send me an invite?

Dams

Krystal

Dams,

I think that is exactly what I am going to do... send my grandmother a card and some flowers... I dont know if she would appreciate a visit but I want her to know that I haven't forgotten her despite my family's desperate attempts to forget me...

I wonder what their reaction will be when I get married and an invitation arrives in their mailbox...

Finally-Free

I was invited to my younger sister's wedding, when I said I would be happy to attend they quickly inforned me that I wasn't welcome. So WTF!? why send me an invite?

The purpose of the invitation was not to request your presence to the event. It was to remind you that you are no longer one of them unless you conform to their dictates.

Either that or it was a request for a gift. I'm sure a gift or some cash would not be unwelcome.

Remember people - If they don't want you then they don't deserve your gifts either!

W

damselfly

Let us know how it goes.

Dams

Got a letter from my parents...

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