My Dad Isn't There Anymore (page 2)

Preston

I'm sorry Brenda,

I am glad that your family has showed foresight in this matter. I hope he's not under a lot of pain.

- Preston

misanthropic

((((Brenda))))

I'm so sorry, I fear for the day I have to see my parents growing old. This must be an incredibly hard time for you.

(((( BRENDA))))).. I'm so sorry.. I went through that with my step mother. She had alzheimers and in the end actually got upset when I walked in the room. I got to where I couldn't bear to upset her and stopped going but checked in with dad how she was.. Its so sad they they lose the mind. I know how you feel about wishing for them, that there was a new system.. I think about that with my mom who is a witness. shes' getting up there and she sure is determine to have all her days to be a witness even if it means cutting me out of her life.. I'm sorry it won't come true for her..

I'm so sorry for you.. its like a slow motion grieving..

talesin

Bren, I am feeling for you. I have worked with some Altz patients, and it was heart-rending. I'm sorry you have lost your dad, and only the shell remains, it's just not right. {{{{HUGS}}}}

xo

tal

wanderlustguy

I know what you're feeling. As I see my dad break down in front of my eyes, there is so much that wasn't as it should have been, and never will be.

WLG

BrendaCloutier

Thank you (((everyone))). You all are helping me bear the grief.

I'm so sorry for you.. its like a slow motion grieving..

Yes, it is. Well said.

OldSoul

(((Brenda)))

My heart aches for you. I imagine it is much harder for you to go through this agonizing departure because you have so long to get acquainted with this partial person who used to be whole. If you try very hard to focus on who and what your father was maybe it will help you to separate the two people better.

Try not to let your wonderfully clear memories become clouded with grief over what might have been if only...he lives as you remember him. That will always be true. This has helped me cope with loss of those I care about throughout my life, whether gradual or sudden.

Respectfully,
OldSoul

Bryan

(((((Brenda)))))

Valis

Brenda, my grandmother is the same way and has violent tendencies. I haven't gone to see her in a long time and even when I do she doesn't know me...In the last years she where she knew me I lived with my grandparents. It was only then that I realized just how long she had been ill. She had all kinds of things that I assumed were hoarded, but in reality she had been buying stuff and then not remembering and buying it over again. Stacks of soap, a whole shelf of shampoo, boxes and boxes of cereal. But that wasn't the worst..she became violent with my grandfather, trashed the small shed I was living in, went around ranting and looking for her "$5000" dollars she supposedly put somewhere, or blaming me for stealing it. The last straw was her cooking bacon and then walking away out the door only to be found two miles away digging through someone's trash, all the while the kitchen cabinets are starting to go up in flames...She had to go to a home. Now she is nothing but a shell and as talesin says, it just is not right.. BUT I have good memories. As my parents mismanaged their financial life my entire childhood I had occasion to live with my grandparents. She used to babysit for a living and one of the things I remember is her cooking all the time and playing cards with the kids and making coolaid...And the funny things...like only putting in her teeth to go shopping, a convention, of the Kingdom Hall...only to go right home, take out the teeth, then bust out with the chewing tobacco...Prince Albert out of the can and in to the mouth as it were..funny things one remembers make it easy not to think about the cold dead reality Alzhiemers is...

daystar

Brenda

My Dad Isn't There Anymore